People Like Us Page #7

What about your mom?

My mom died

a couple years ago.

My sweet mom.

You know, she never said

a bad word about him.

Can l just say,

your life is ass.

(LAUGHlNG)

lt's really...

Don't laugh at me.

No, l'm not.

l'm not laughing at you.

l'm just thinking

how strong you are.

-l don't feel strong.

-You're incredibly strong.

So when is your flight?

Uh...

(STAMMERlNG) l got

a text earlier, actually,

and things are shifting

around at work, so...

Looks like l have to stay

in L.A. a little longer.

l know

it's about the nachos.

Nachos, please.

You stuffing your face

like a wildebeest in heat.

(UPBEAT FOLK MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Early one morning the sun was shining

l was laying in bed

Wondering if she'd changed at all

If her hair was still red

Her folks, they said our lives together

Sure was gonna be rough

They never did like

Mama's homemade dress

Papa's bankbook

wasn't big enough

And l was standing

on the side of the road

(SAM AND FRANKlE

CHATTlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)

Heading out

for the East Coast

Lord knows l've paid

some dues getting through

Come on. Let's go.

Hustle, Carol.

Okay. (LAUGHS)

Hey, man. No.

Off, off, off.

Hey, look. Your backpack

that you left in the backseat?

lt's in the trunk.

That's where that was?

Also, the ride home

from the record store,

maybe not mention it, okay?

-Why?

-Hey, there.

(LAUGHS)

Nice car, huh, Josh?

Josh, Sam.

Howdy.

What's up?

All right, child. Hey, hey!

No, no, no! Oh... Okay...

We drove that car

as far as we could

Abandoned it out west

A little glamour face.

(LAUGHlNG)

l can't actually

shoot anything.

-Are you filming?

-FRANKlE:
Yeah!

(ALL LAUGHlNG)

l heard her say

over my shoulder

"We'll meet again someday

on the avenue"

Whoo!

Tangled up in blue

(SAM LAUGHlNG)

SAM:
This is incredible.

(GASPS) My gosh,

look at its little face.

lt's looking right at me.

(lN ENGLlSH ACCENT)

Please, sir, spare my life.

l don't deserve

to be eaten, mate.

What? Why is

the crab British?

(LAUGHlNG)

FRANKlE:
You gotta

mallet that thing.

Because l'm a hater.

SAM:
Let's hear

a little Keith Moon.

(DRUMMlNG RHYTHMlCALLY)

Whoo! Drum duet!

FRANKlE:
Hit it!

BOTH:
Oh!

SAM:
Let me show you a trick.

Take the crab leg like such.

We go like that.

We take our handy red

crab claw.

There you go, buddy.

(FOLK MUSlC PLAYlNG)

-Yeah, l've seen better.

-Oh, yeah.

Yeah, God,

is this the best you got?

(FARTlNG)

-Ugh!

-Josh!

But it's real.

Thank you!

SAM:
And l'm still crying.

(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)

(SlGHS)

Hello?

SAM:
Hey, it's me.

How are you?

You know. Amazing.

A woman keeps calling

and leaving messages.

l think she wants

to arrest you.

So, at least

l'm not the only one.

Why did you call?

Just wanted to hear

that l didn't lose you

to some circus troupe

of lawyers.

(CHUCKLES)

l know you do.

-l should go.

-l met her.

Her name's Frankie.

She tried so hard

to get his attention.

Get him to notice her.

lt's almost like we did

grow up in the same house.

Except you ran away from him

and she didn't have a choice.

You're good at running away,

you know?

Yeah.

l've been practicing

a long time.

And l know

it's hard on you.

Did you tell her

everything you know?

l don't know how.

Sam...

You're going

to hurt this woman, you realize that.

And you got to make it right.

l got to go.

(CALL DlSCONNECTS)

(lNDlSTlNCT TALKlNG)

JOSH:
Dude, l could

totally be in a band.

You know what l'd call it?

My Friend's Band.

Like, "You got to see

My Friend's Band."

Or like, "You got to hear

My Friend's Band."

Oh, my God.

People would be so confused.

-Hey, Josh.

-Hey, Luce.

That girl is so caliente,

l don't even know

what to do with myself.

Actually, l do know

what to do with myself.

Oh, God, no.

No, Romeo.

So, can l just

ask you questions

and you answer me?

Not as my mentor,

just as some old dude?

Oh, that would be great.

How do you get

girls to like you?

(CHUCKLES)

"How do you get

girls to like you?" (CHUCKLES)

Well, you know,

you just want to be the...

Well, you want to be

the kind of guy that, like...

Uh...

-You know.

-No, l don't know.

And it sounds like

you don't either.

That's true.

Here. Strawberries.

At least tell me

the six rules.

Nah. You're not ready.

Soon enough.

-Come on. Come on.

-Soon. Soon, l swear.

JOSH:
Don't deny me

like that, man.

Hey.

Hurricane Carol

finally made landfall today,

pulverizing

Southern California.

Nice catch.

-What is this?

-That's a salami sampler.

JOSH:
Because it turns out

there is more than

(lN lTALlAN ACCENT)

one type of salami.

Hot salami, sweet salami,

all the kinds of salami.

-Whoa, whoa. l got it.

-That made my day.

Josh, can you go

do your homework

or something, please?

Why? You barely

made it through high school.

Look how well

you turned out.

Hey, hey. All right.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Go be productive, please.

JOSH:
Yeah, let me go

invent something.

(DOOR SLAMS)

Do l look like

l can't provide for my kid? l work.

No. l know.

You got a lot on your plate.

l was just trying to help out.

(SlGHS)

What's going on?

A lawyer called today.

Mmm-hmm.

My dad left Josh 150 grand.

Wow. That's...

-That's great.

-No.

l don't want his

dead bribe money.

You can't turn down

$150,000, Frankie. That's...

Frankie,

you could buy a house

with a yard

for your gardening.

You could

pay off the pool,

you can go back to school.

Whatever.

He wanted you to have it.

What, are you

on his side now?

lt's 150 grand!

Okay.

What is this?

What's going on here?

This... (CHUCKLES)

This is Josh missed the bus

and l picked him up.

He said you guys

needed some groceries,

-so l decided to help out.

-No. This.

This hanging out with us.

l like hanging out

with you guys.

Why don't l know

anything about you? l mean...

What is with

the 20 questions?

Why won't you ever

talk about your recovery?

Most of us

can't talk about it enough.

l don't know.

FRANKlE:
Why do you have

these weirdly long pauses

when l ask a question?

l bought you groceries!

l didn't ask you

to do that.

-You're grilling me?

-Just answer my questions.

The world does not need

another AA sob story.

ls that a good enough

answer for you?

lt's a really shitty

answer, actually.

Do you hate the idea

of making your life better?

ls it that bad of an idea?

Well, you're one to talk,

Mr. Goat Leverager.

l mean, is that you

realizing your potential?

l'm just saying,

you can have a better life. All right?

You can leave the bar

and be appreciated.

-For what?

-For who you are!

-The same goes for Josh.

-Okay, whoa.

You think maybe you're not

in the best position

to be handing out

parenting advice?

Have you ever even

taken care of a goldfish?

Do you comprehend

what it is to be responsible

for another human being?

You cart him around.

You... You stock my fridge.

You're atoning for

l don't know what.

'Cause l enjoy hanging out

with him. He's a good kid!

You're gonna go back

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