Perfect Life Page #3

To sharpen up their reflexes.

It is kind of like speed,

you know,

but they take all the crazy

energy from the neurons,

and they make them--

Make them stronger,

instead of weaker.

Make them stronger,

'cause they're weaker.

What is it?

What?

This makes me smarter?

No, faster.

Let me try it.

Wait, let me--

No, just see what happens.

I haven't tasted

this sh*t yet.

Excuse me.

Remember, ladies,

only pussies can't drive 55.

Any less and you're out.

Go bag it.

The inmates have taken over

the asylum.

Thirty-five.

Forty.

Fifty!

Fifty-five!

Fifty-seven miles.

We'll be watching you.

(Engine starting)

Honda Prelude, '88 model.

It does have the airbag,

right?

Let's find out.

MILLER:

Are you clear on the rules?

Man, if I see brake lights,

you lose.

You've got to hit 55.

You won't lose

if you can't lose.

(Phone ringing)

Make this extremely quick.

FREDDY:

This ain't no thing

for a speed racer like you.

I thought you were gonna

leave me hanging.

Just another mission

for our heroes.

You're next.

Oh, click it or ticket.

Thank you, officer.

(Cheering)

MAN:

Jack?

Jack, you made it.

Who the f*** are you?

You're a lucky man, Jack.

I don't feel lucky.

Well, I'm here on behalf of

the fraternity.

I would just like to

ask you a question or two.

I almost

f***ing killed myself.

What more is there

to question?

Well, why do you want to be

a Veritas man?

Veritas gives hope.

Hope?

Yeah,

like if you die,

you got somebody

to give you a decent burial.

Well, you can always

pay people to do that.

Yeah, but you can not pay them

to give a f***.

So for you,

fraternity is like a family.

Yeah, I guess so.

And it's the only one

you've got.

Why don't you tell me why

I want to join Veritas, then.

Well, don't you remember

your Latin?

Veritas means truth.

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

FREDDY:

Jack?

Yeah?

Where are you right now?

Um, in bed.

Who is this?

It's the Prince of Darkness.

Freddy.

Hey!

Are you alone?

Yeah.

You're a f***ing liar!

You're f***ing my girlfriend!

You're f***ing dead!

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Nightmare.

What happened?

Freddy was here.

He saw us.

F***.

Did I hit my head?

(Chuckling)

It was me.

You hit your head?

Oh.

(Ringing)

Hello?

FREDDY:

Are you in bed?

Yeah. Why?

Where are you?

I'm home.

You know,

where the, um,

where the dear

and the aristocracy play.

England home?

Well, they--

They found my wallet

in Miller's car.

F***!

Oh, don't sh*t a brick.

I kept you out of it.

But they do know

that somebody else was driving.

So, what I suggest you do,

is you come over here

whilst it blows over,

and lay low in style.

Can you get the natives

to call me "the Ripper"?

(Laughing)

I would like you to bring

the rest of the gang.

Tell Mark that there is a

serious need for his expertise.

And don't let Anne

say no.

Uh, yeah.

I'll make sure she's there.

We'll come

after Bristor's final.

There won't be a final,

Jack.

I think you know that now.

I wired you the money.

Start packing.

Okay.

You know that, um,

recurring nightmare

I told you about?

It's occurring.

Why do I love you?

Because

you smell like milk.

No, really, I'm serious.

Milk and smell and scent,

it's all the true essence

between two people.

There's no bullshit.

I love it

when you're serious.

(Phone ringing)

(Yelling)

(Screaming)

Are you all right, sir?

We're about to land.

I'll be right back.

Whoa!

Oh, I feel sick.

Oh, my God!

Sh*t!

This place has got to have

secret passageways.

VERA:

Where are his folks?

Monaco, Montserrat,

Beverly Hills.

Only their psychotherapist

knows for sure.

(Laughing)

Hello!

You should come up here.

It's so beautiful.

(Door opening)

FREDDY:

Twenty-seven thousand

square feet.

Thirty-seven bedrooms,

14 and a half bathrooms.

Italian marble.

No Jacuzzi, I'm afraid,

but then, I do have

five tennis courts.

I think you're gonna

like it here.

Must be a b*tch to heat

in the winter.

Well, we do have

electricity.

Where's your folks?

Monaco, Geneva,

Beverly Hills.

We've come a long way.

We most definitely have.

Welcome.

Thank you.

(Laughing)

(Engines running)

(Laughing)

You've been

ominously quiet.

When have I ever

gotten a word in

around

the Jack and Freddy show?

Touch.

Hey,

you had me worried.

Really!

I did?

One morning you were just gone?

Of course I was worried!

You're like a brother

to me!

Is that a good thing?

How can you feel otherwise?

How can you be so confident

around the rest of the world,

and doubt yourself

around me?

Someone has to throw me.

Look, it's like

Jack always says--

Look, pretend for a minute

there is no Jack!

Are you saying that Jack has

some sort of control over me?

I didn't mean it

like that.

It's just that sometimes

I look at the two of you,

and it reminds me of how similar

you both still are

to the 13-year-olds

who used to peek at me

when I was dancing

in my backyard.

You knew about that?

Why do you think

I practiced so hard?

Close your eyes.

Okay,

now keep them closed.

There's something

I want to show you.

Open your eyes.

Oh, my God!

This is beautiful!

Wow!

My grandfather had it built

for my grandmother.

She was Italian,

so beautiful.

He loved her more than

anything else in the world.

You never told me this.

Well, it would have

spoiled the surprise.

That's not all.

He gave her one more thing

before he died.

God, it's beautiful!

I want you to have it.

Shh.

Don't tell me now.

Tell me tomorrow night

at the party.

Excuse me.

Do you know where I can get

a drink around here?

Two guys, one girl.

An equation whose solution

always leaves

someone out in the cold.

Yeah, me.

Money always finds happiness.

Well, it seems a clear-cut case

of who wants it most.

That's the problem with you

rich, f***ing,

over- privileged d*cks!

It's always about

getting "it"!

We're not even

talking about a--

A house or a car,

or a corporation.

We're talking about a woman.

But who says, uh,

"it" is a girl?

What is "it" then?

Now, Jack,

this pain I see in your eyes,

where does it come from?

I don't know.

Yeah!

What happened to you?

I've been looking for you

everywhere.

I must have blacked out

during a blackout.

Where do you go

when you black out?

It's, uh, stressful.

Basketball courts,

swimming pools,

car wrecks, sex.

Same sh*t,

different nightmare.

Then why do you still keep

doing drugs?

Drugs are how

a man with no past

faces a world

with no future.

Okay, so

if you can still

be all lyrical about it,

then it means

that you're not a drunk.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

What's wrong?

Freddy asked me

to marry him.

What about us?

You know how I feel

about you, but--

But what?

You're an addict.

You're an addict,

and I don't know

where you are.

Even when you're here with me,

I don't know where you are.

You are just another

f***ed-up poor kid

whose parents

did not care enough

or give him enough

attention.

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