Perfect Life Page #4

And now, you have some

pathological need

to be the life or the soul

of some party,

only it's just in your mind.

I can change, okay?

I can be the f***ing perfect,

well-adjusted,

mature gentleman,

ready to carry you off

to your perfect life.

You're planning our future

together when

you can't even remember

what you did the night before.

I think I'm entitled to more.

You want more?

Because

I can give you more.

More is not

a f***ing problem!

More is easy!

I can give you more!

Stop!

Come here.

What am I gonna do

with you?

You're not

making this easy.

I know.

Tell me about hell.

Hell is a mall and--

(Laughing)

and in it, outside it,

all around it,

there are bums and geeks,

and they kind of want to get in

because they have to

beg for money,

or for someone to kill them,

because they're too scared

to go inside.

So is this like a strip mall,

or is this a regular mall?

It's like a Jersey mall,

only first you have to

cross a river.

The river is round.

Like a moat?

Yeah.

MAN (Quietly):

Jack! Jack!

Jack!

The bathtub ate Vera.

I need some salt.

Listen, listen, listen,

baby.

Come on,

listen to my voice.

You have got a pulse,

you're doing okay!

Party.

Hospital!

No, no, no, no!

When's the last time

you've been to a hospital?

I don't remember.

Have you got a f***ing watch?

No!

Want me to go look for

a watch?

I'm just trying

to f***ing help!

You want to f***ing help?

Get her some f***ing

sodium chloride, all right?

Get some f***ing table salt.

Hurry the f*** up!

Put the towels

on the ground.

Put the f***ing towels--

Come here!

Will you f***ing hurry?

Close the f***ing door!

I need your f***ing help!

All right!

What did you give her, man?

Same f***in' thing

we took.

Up straight,

aim your body straight!

Can't even

get a vein up.

She looks like sh*t.

Listen, she can hear us

in there.

You have got to f***ing

keep it positive.

There is nothing else

we can do now

until the saline cycle

is through.

F*** it, let's just

crack open another 40

or smoke some kill!

Or some champagne,

that'll do!

Where did you get

f***ing ice, man?

I've been looking all over

this country for f***ing ice

since we got here!

The Europeans aren't as obsessed

with refrigeration.

Yeah, clearly!

(Gurgling)

F***!

(Coughing)

Hey!

Hey, baby!

Why am I in

an ice bucket?

No, no.

No sleeping.

We gotta keep her talking,

Jack, come on.

I want one of them.

Yeah!

Jesus Christ!

Hi.

VERA:

Your halo's crooked.

(Laughing)

Obviously, you have a problem

with authority.

Who doesn't?

You think you're smarter

than anyone, don't you?

Including me,

no doubt.

I think you have a problem

about telling the truth.

What are you implying?

Lying.

Oh, excuse me, nurse,

would you mind

turning that volume down?

Thank you.

We'll ring

when we need you.

Now,

that maid you remember,

did she tell you her name?

Marisol.

Marisol.

That is a beautiful name.

Beautiful.

Spanish, is that right?

I don't know.

You don't know.

Let me tell you something,

Jack.

In the Brotherhood,

we can't abide secrets,

because secrets,

they have a habit of

creeping back

and haunting you.

I don't have any secrets.

Jack, you do.

You do, Jack.

You know what happened

to that girl, Jack.

When you woke up

by the pier,

Marisol had not just

disappeared, had she?

JACK:

She was no longer there.

I don't know how else

you could describe that.

You know what happened

to that girl, Jack.

You know, I really am

a fan of the grunge look, Jack,

but I was kind of hoping you

might go dapper for the evening.

We had

a little problem upstairs.

Vera almost Joplin'd,

and then when that didn't work,

she tried to drown herself

in the bathtub.

Yes, she really is a f*** up at

anything but f***ing, isn't she?

That was pretty cold.

Are you defending

your sex doll?

You know, I could always

loan you ten pounds,

and you can go

and buy another one.

Only this time,

please buy one that can't talk.

You know,

it's good to know

that even when

you're playing dress-up,

the prick in you

doesn't die.

Oh, this prick

will never die, dog.

Gosh.

I'm shaking like a crack ho

at a methadone clinic.

This is it, amigo.

I feel like my whole life has

been building up to this moment.

We need to talk.

Why?

What have you done?

And how much of my money

will it take to make it go away?

It's about Anne.

What about Anne?

We, um--

If it makes a difference--

Jack.

First rule of Veritas,

"Brothers before others."

Brothers before others.

Why don't you get dressed?

Hey, what is in that stuff

you're giving them?

Well, there is tryptamine

and there's dimethyltryptamine.

You trip.

Know what I mean?

"Di" means two,

and "methyl" became popular

from its lesser cousin,

simply known as meth.

Essence and speed.

Twice, hold the cow sh*t.

My friends have such an intimate

relationship with their drugs.

You drink alcohol.

Everything I make in my lab

is just the same.

It's not just the same!

What you make in your lab

is hardcore illegal drugs.

Hardcore, softcore.

Drugs are a conduit.

No, he's right.

Psilocybin mushrooms

grow in cow sh*t.

Apes would eat

these mushrooms.

Must be where the term

"some good sh*t" comes from.

Anne.

Should we tell everybody?

What?

About us.

(Laughing)

Us? What, us?

Ladies and gentlemen,

(Clinking glass)

I have an announcement

to make.

Or is it a confession?

You see,

I have asked Anne,

if she would do me

the unfathomable honour

of becoming my wife.

Cheers!

No, no.

You see, she has yet

to give me a reply.

But she has promised

to let me know this evening.

So all that remains

in the presence of my dearest,

most cherished

and trusted friends,

is for me to humbly

beseech her response.

Providing, of course,

there are no objections.

Anne, this could be

our wedding party.

This could be our final

"bon voyage" to the wild life.

One final fling before

we wave goodbye to childhood.

Anne, be with me,

please!

Just as I thought.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Jack, the lad,

is f***ing my girlfriend!

Freddy,

don't do it, man.

You ungrateful little c*nt!

I gave you everything

you could possibly ever want!

But you had to take the one

thing that I did not offer you!

Freddy, calm down.

Freddy, please, man!

I feel like I've gone to hell

already, and I'm dead!

Mark, can we f***ing smoke

a joint over here or something?

Jack, I'm going out of

my f***ing head, here!

What do you want me

to f***ing do about it?

It's not my fault! I didn't--

Yes, you did!

I did all of this so that

I could get close to you!

This is bad.

This is bad, dude!

F***ing water

or something for...

If by bad, you mean, good,

then, yes, it is.

You're f***ing out of your mind

right now!

You don't think

I've known about you and Anne

all of this time?

This isn't about me and her,

about me and you!

Freddy, why don't you get

yourself a f***ing life?

That's exactly what

I intend to do.

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