Pigs Page #4

I'm so busy right now,

I mean

It'll just take a second, I just have

a couple questions to ask you

I'm so sorry, I'm studying

and I'm really in a focus mode

Are you single?

Yes?

Miles:
Is focus mode like,

code for b*tch?

Cleaver:

Are you single?

- No

- No, you're not, okay

No, you're not But do you believe

in premarital s

Robin is that with a "Y"

or with an "I", Miss Upshaw?

Oh no, I'm not Robin Upshaw,

that's my roommate

That's great

Thank you for your time

Can I help you

with something else?

Uh, what's your name?

Stephanie

- Stephanie

- Newman

Stephanie Newman

with an "N"

Yeah

Hi

Hi, are you Angela Uverik?

Yeah that's correct

- Um

- What's that?

Actually, I'm just doing a survey

Guys, I'm not really dressed for it,

why don't you come in?

I got I got this one

You're looking kind of tired

- Hi

- Hi

I'm Miles

Hi Nice to meet you Angela

Miles:

The "U"

Bring on the "X"

Giddy up

Nice

Miles:

Now how do we find her?

Hey, buddy, do you know

a Gabrielle Xeropoppa-

Xeropopolous

- Yeah

Sure, she's still in the lecture hall

Can't miss her

Thanks Top gun

Oh dude, I'm not liking

my odds at all

Oh, there's only one way

to find out

Cleaver:

Gabrielle!

Miles:

Holy crap

Cleaver:

What?

Dude, that's her

That's the girl that fixed my car,

the one from the pub

- Oh, the one that Ben's sweet on

- What?

You really dodged

the bullet there, I mean, she's nice

She's a damn sight better than nice

Sh*t, I'd do her if she was another "S"

Okay, here she comes

Did you just call me?

No

Yes You don't remember me

You fixed my car

Uh, the red T-bird

Oh, right, did you replace the battery yet?

Not yet, but she's running great,

and I wanted to track you down

and thank you and take you out to dinner

You don't have to do that,

it was no big deal

I'm Miles, by the way

Gabrielle

And I'm Cleaver,

just in case you were wondering

- Hi -

Gabrielle, that's nice

Thanks, my friends call me Gabby

All right, Gabby

I said, my friends call me Gabby

Cleaver:

Burn

- Hey

- Hey This is Fran

- Fran this is

- Cleaver, at your service

Gabrielle:

Right

This is my roommate,

this is Miles and Cleaver

- Hi

- Hi

Miles:

So what do you say?

You don't have to take me to dinner,

it was no big deal

Are you are you kidding me?

I mean

You're turning down a free dinner?

Nothing's free

We could make it a foursome Huh?

I have to study for a test I have tomorrow,

and then I have to go to work

Miles:

Great, I'll come by your work

I work at Taylor's Automotive,

it's not exactly conducive to visitors

Okay, tomorrow night

Fran:

Someone's a tad eager

Gabrielle:
Actually, Fran and I

planned a movie night with the girls,

so maybe

we'll just play it by ear Okay?

Okay

- See ya

- Okay

Gabrielle:

See ya

I think she's gay

Yep, I mean what else could it be?

Do you think

she's doing her roommate?

I would pay cash money

to see some of that live lesbo action

See, now, that'd make sense

I mean, movie night

with the girls? Pfft!

Tell me that's not code

for wild lesbian pillow fight night with the girls

And how about the clincher,

she's a mechanic, for Chrissake? God

Well this is ass!

And here I thought this girl

was going to give you all three inputs,

I mean, she's Greek

They're into that, you know?

This is ass

I mean she's beautiful,

she's playing hard to get,

and she's an "X"?

It's dripping with irony

when you think of it

Yeah Well, if anybody can get her,

it's you, Kemo Sabe

Yeah you're right

No more Mr f***ing Nice guy

It's time to bring out the big guns

- Big guns

- Big guns!

- Big guns!

- Big guns!

Big guns!

You guys are so f***in' pathetic

How long's he been here?

I don't know

- Big guns

- Oh yeah

Oh!

Gabrielle, hey! How's it going?

- Hi, Miles

- Hi

So uh, you still doing that uh, girl

that girl night, thing, tonight?

Yeah, that's still the plan

I think we should

go out tomorrow night

I'm working tomorrow

At the mechanic shop?

- Yeah

- Right

You should really

have some sunscreen on

You don't want to get skin cancer

See ya!

See ya

Yup She's definitely

a rug muncher

Trainer:
All right, Ben, what we're

going to do over here

is try to get you on

a muscle building program

You know, get your body used to the idea

of coming to a gym, working out, lifting weights

Actually, have you ever

been to the gym before?

Oh yeah,

I just took a couple months off

All right, well, this shouldn't be

any problem for you then, tough guy

Miles, what are you doing here?

Are you trying to get me fired?

Well, Gabby, If you're not

going to let me take you to dinner,

I'm taking dinner to you

I can't believe this is happening

I'm sorry,

am I embarrassing you?

Miles, my boss

is going to be back any second

Then let me take you to dinner

Okay, pack this up

and I'll let you take me for dinner

When?

- I don't know

- Oh! I hope you like cheese!

Okay, how about Saturday?

- Saturday's good

- Okay

Here, let me write down my number

I finish work at 6:00 on Saturday

and you can pick me up at 8:00

There

- I'm in with the "X"

- F*** off!

I'm In with the "X"

I'm in with the "X"

Oh, I'm in with the "X"

What the f*** does that mean?

Well, Bennyit means

I'm in with the "X"

Let me see

So she doesn't eat

from the bushy plate after all?

Miles:
Hey, apparently not,

we're hooking up Saturday

Nice How could she

resist your charms?

Yeah, there but for

the grace of Miles goes God

Hey, I like that

I'm going to use that, Ben

Miles:

What's up?

No Just

Just when you nab the "X",

I mean, it's over

Oh, come on,

there will be other contests

Sweet victory

I can't wait to see Sylvie

and Big Eddie's faces right after I rail the "X"

Aren't you ever worried about catching

a f***ing disease or something?

No, Benny

Never shower without a raincoat

Oh, you know what?

I'm just about out

Cleaver:

I got some domer-domers you can use

Thanks, but I'd rather use ones

that weren't bought in grade nine

Cleaver:

Uh, they're new, jackass

I wear a minimum of three

I mean, it cuts off the sensation

and makes my dick look bigger

Uggh!

Hello

Uh, sorry, Miles isn't here right now

Oh, this is his roommate, Benji

He's so busy

- Wendy? I'll tell him you called

- F*** off, Cleaver

- Okay, bye-bye,

- Cleaver:
Hey, Ben, come back to bed!

Ben:

F*** off!

The friggin' "P"

She's like a curse!

Cleaver:

Okay, brother, brother, okay

Let's not worry about her, okay?

We gotta keep the positive energy flowing

Miles:

Soon, my pretty

Ohh, yes

- Miles?

- Yeah?

There's a lot of money

at stake here

I know

Okay, what I mean is that, okay,

if we don't win this contest,

and by we, I mean, you,

I can't cover the bets alone

How much money

are we talking about?

Oh, I don't, I don't know, um

something in the neighborhood

of $30,000

What? $30,000 as in,

three, and four zeros? That $30,000?

That's it

How?

Well, the odds on the "X"

are through the f***in' roof,

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