Pineapple Express Page #11

Synopsis: Lazy court-process clerk and stoner Dale Denton has only one reason to visit his equally lazy dealer Saul Silver: to purchase weed, specifically, a rare new strain called Pineapple Express. But when Dale becomes the only witness to a murder by a crooked cop and the city's most dangerous drug lord, he panics and dumps his roach of Pineapple Express at the scene. Dale now has another reason to visit Saul: to find out if the weed is so rare that it can be traced back to him--and it is. As Dale and Saul run for their lives, they quickly discover that they're not suffering from weed-fueled paranoia: incredibly, the bad guys really are hot on their trail and trying to figure out the fastest way to kill them both. All aboard the Pineapple Express.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): David Gordon Green
  Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 2 wins & 13 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
64
R
Year:
2008
111 min
6,414 Views


Now!

F*** you!

F*** the police!

Motherfucking kill you!

- Why you doing this to me?

- Why you doing this to me?

Oh, sh*t!

Come here!

I hate you!

No! Ted, stop it!

Come on, b*tch.

Come on, I'll twist your balls so tight.

You're in the jungle now, baby.

Jesus!

F***.

Gonna die.

- You killed...

- I didn't wanna do that.

But you weren't gonna stop.

Shoot him!

Just take it easy, buddy.

Shoot him, you dumb f***!

I'm hungry.

I'm going home.

All right.

Help.

I knew you were going soft.

Dinner's gonna be cold tonight,

a**hole.

F***ed up, man.

- Well, lookie here. Mr. Folgers.

- Oh, man.

What's up, sir?

- Look, I didn't wanna hit you, man...

- Shut the f*** up.

You think you was gonna

get me, motherf***er, huh?

You need to sit

your little sexy ass down...

...and watch yourself get killed now.

All right.

You know what?

This is how it's gonna be?

All right. This is how it ends.

You just got killed by a

Daewoo Lanos, motherf***er.

How you like me now, huh?

Gross.

Red?

Saul.

Hey, Saul. I came back for you, bro.

- Yeah.

- I remembered, man.

Bro's before ho's.

- You lied to me.

- I did. I lied bigtime to you.

Dale said that you didn't even

have herpes and I said that you did.

Honestly, like, from now on, from

everything that we've gone through...

...and, like, from seeing this a**hole's

nuts smashed with my Daewoo...

...I wanna be a better friend to you,

like I really am.

I f***ing love you, dog.

F***ing love you.

I wanna be inside you, homes.

No more lies, Red.

- This is my moment.

- This is your moment.

Red!

You know what? I'm feeling it.

Red, I'm coming, baby.

Your stupidity amazes me.

Hey, Ted!

You killed my brother...

...Caucasian son of cocksucker!

Suck my balls! Two times!

B*tch!

Bring it on.

Sh*t. Dale.

Dale!

Holy sh*t!

Sorry, Ted.

You've been served.

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

Saul! Saul!

Wake up, man! This place

is gonna collapse! Come on!

Come to me!

You're not dying today, friend.

Not on my watch.

Saul. Wake up, man, please.

Saul.

Wake up.

Oh, sweet Saul.

Saul.

Yes. Yeah.

Saul, you made it.

- What?

- Yeah.

Where am I?

You made it, man.

- You saved me.

- You came back for me.

- Yeah.

- Oh, thank you.

What happened?

What happened?

Holy sh*t.

What's that?

Hi.

- Red?

- Red?

- Red.

- Hey.

Red. Where'd you come from, man?

Where'd he come from?

He came back to save us.

- He saved us?

- Yeah.

All right, man.

- We all saved each other.

- Yeah.

Oh, man. We made it, guys.

We made it. Oh, we made it.

Hello, you're listening to PPRPBP.

I am Dale Denton.

The topic of the day: new beginnings.

Getting over losses.

Friends. Life.

We have our first caller.

Yes, ring-ring-ring. How's it going?

Hi. Am I on the air?

You are. You're about

to get D'd by the Dale.

A D in the face.

- Dale Denton?

- Yeah?

You're my hero.

You're my hero.

You are good, man. Seriously.

- Thanks.

- Gotta admit, you're pretty good.

- It sounds pretty good.

- It sounds real.

- It's not bad, huh?

- lf I close my eyes, it sounds like...

- You are on the radio.

- That's the radio. That's a DJ.

- lf you were on it, I would listen to it.

- Thanks, man.

It's like when my bubbe

was always playing opera...

...I hated it, but my bubbe loves it.

Then it grows on you.

It grows on you. Yeah.

It's like Red. I didn't like Red

when I first met him.

- You didn't like me?

- You liked him so much...

...I like you now.

I know this sounds weird, but can

we be best friends? Just us, for real?

- We should all be best friends.

- We should.

Seriously. You guys are, like,

both of my best friends.

You didn't know it. Now you know it,

we'll all be best friends.

Know those hearts that break up,

"best friends"?

We should get a three-way one.

- I don't know if they make those.

- We should make the first one.

I want the middle piece,

so it'll be crooked on both sides.

I know we've gone over this, but, like,

- I f***ed up...

- I was a dick to you, man. I'm sorry.

I know I was an a**hole.

I hope I redeemed myself.

- I know me and you had our deal.

- We've had some times.

I feel like something's happening here.

Is that a boner?

Is that a condo? That us moving

into an apartment together?

Is that us getting a time-share?

- You threw an ashtray at his face.

- You hit me, man.

At the time, I was like:

But it was kind of funny.

You hit me with a DustBuster, man.

I didn't wanna hurt you.

It was like, "You better not leave here."

- That was such a good fight, man.

- That was.

You fuckhead.

- The car chase was awesome.

- You got into a car chase?

- Are you kidding me? Oh, my God.

- Yeah, it was...

I, like, had my foot

through the window.

My groin... I mean,

I felt like a wishbone.

I'm trying to decide

how stoned I am...

...and just how on the verge

of death am I now.

Am I seeing sh*t because I'm stoned

or because I have no blood left?

- You've been shot, like, seven times.

- You gotta eat.

- You're losing stuff.

- Here.

- Here.

- Yeah, okay.

- Here comes the airplane.

- Look, like a baby.

It's a miracle.

I think we should all take a moment...

...and think about what a miracle

it is that we got out.

And that we became friends

in the process...

...and learned some sh*t about life

and stuff.

Should we touch each other's hands

while we do it? Okay.

I love you guys.

I love you dudes so much.

I'll remember that

for the rest of my life.

- Red?

- Red?

Yo, Red, man. You alive?

What's up, pal?

- Hey.

- Hey.

I'm like the nerd at the sleepover

who fell asleep at 9.

That's okay. We won't put

our d*cks in your mouth.

- Oh, God.

- Hey, there's bubbe.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

Yeah, maybe

we should go to the doctor.

Do you think she'll drive me

to the hospital?

Me too. I should

get the ear looked at.

My ear should probably

get professional attention.

- It is bad.

- That's a bullet burp.

Either I'm getting ready to die

or I'm gonna take a massive sh*t.

If somebody could get me

to the hospital.

Blood from my ear just...

You guys smell like sh*t.

You are in serious danger.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote

Seth Rogen

Seth Aaron Rogen (; born April 15, 1982) is a Canadian-American actor, voice actor, comedian, writer, producer, and director. He began his career performing stand-up comedy during his teenage years. While still living in his native Vancouver, he landed a supporting role in Judd Apatow's series Freaks and Geeks. Shortly after he moved to Los Angeles for his role, Freaks and Geeks was officially cancelled after one season due to low viewership. Rogen later got a part on sitcom Undeclared, which also hired him as a writer. After landing his job as a staff writer on the final season of Da Ali G Show, Apatow guided him toward a film career. Rogen made his first movie appearance in Donnie Darko with a minor role in 2001. Rogen was cast in a supporting role and credited as a co-producer in Apatow's directorial debut, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Universal Pictures subsequently cast him as the lead in Apatow's films Knocked Up and Funny People. Rogen co-starred as Steve Wozniak in Universal's Steve Jobs biopic in 2015. In 2016, he developed the AMC television series Preacher with his writing partner Evan Goldberg and Sam Catlin. He also serves as a writer, executive producer, and director with Goldberg. Rogen and Goldberg co-wrote the films Superbad, Pineapple Express, The Green Hornet, This Is the End, and directed both This Is the End and The Interview; all of which Rogen starred in. He has also done voice work for the films Horton Hears a Who!, the Kung Fu Panda film series, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Monsters vs. Aliens, Paul, Sausage Party, and will provide the voice of Pumbaa in the 2019 remake of The Lion King. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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