Ping Pong Playa Page #8

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gentlemen.

Christopher Wang to serve.

Oh.

C- Dub, come on, you can do

better than that, baby.

Downtown to Chinatown, uh!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you get a point?

So fast, you missed it.

Son of a...

Game one

to Gerald Harcourt.

Harcourt leads

one to zero.

Gerald Harcourt to serve.

Ha-ha, who wants to play

some whack-a-fool?

That all you got,

weak nut?

Ah!

Like that?

Yeah, baby.

Make some noise,

make noise.

Aw, yeah, yeah. Come on.

Where my peoples at?

P.B. Rizzle!

No mercy.

That's my son.

He also plays piano.

Rachmaninoff, no problem.

Better bow down

to the new master.

Ah!

Make some noise,

make noise.

Go.

Thing of beauty.

So pretty.

That's all you, baby.

Game point, Wang.

What time is it?

Game time!

Game 2

to Christopher Wang.

Game tied

1 to 1.

Lost your collar, dog?

If you're

looking for your owner,

he's standing right here.

Tom, what do you do

with a dog

that barks too much?

P- T-S.

Oh, that's right, you're

putting everyone to sleep.

It's his best weapon,

you know.

Chinese chatter torture.

Christopher Wang

to serve.

I hope you're hungry,

'cause I'm getting ready

to serve you

some Chinese take-out.

Oh, who's smoking the opium now,

Sir Chokes-a-Lot?

Stuff that in your knickers,

blue boy.

Miss Davis, many, many rules

have been flaunted

during this match:

The showboating,

the profanity.

But this

I simply cannot let slide.

Under section 4-F

of the ATTF rulebook,

it clearly states

that unsportsmanlike conduct

may be defined as.:

"Baiting, tounting"...

Taunting.

There's a U.

"Baiting, taunting,

or any other act

"designed to embarrass,

ridicule, or demean others

on the basis of race, gender,

or national origin. "

You got to be kidding me.

Furthermore, it states

that players who exhibit

unsportsmanlike conduct

may face ejection.

Hold up,

you calling me a racist?

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen.

I will not be a pawn

in this forum

with these attacks

on my national heritage.

Dude, you're from,

like, Encino.

I demand his ejection.

Looking for

the easy way out, huh?

You're one to talk.

Someone get a cup

of shut-up juice

for this mama-jama.

Mr. Wang,

please do not speak Chinese.

The official language

of the ATTF is American.

The committee

will discuss this.

Please step away.

The committee has ruled

on Mr. Wang's violation

of ATTF section 4.

Because this is

a first infraction,

Mr. Wang

will not be ejected.

However, he will be required

to refrain

from all verbal ejaculations

for the remainder

of the tournament.

Verbal what?

What it means, old chum, is,

you can't talk.

Hold up, you know, I got

a right to free speech,

especially when the subject

of that speech

is a student-poaching,

female-harassing,

SPF-50-wearing,

Grey-Poupon-smearing mother...

Sir, you are one word away

from disqualification.

One.

Was th...

Was there something you...

He can't talk.

Back on my feet.

My game is,

my aim is

to get those

that's painless, not brainless.

Say something mean.

I know you want

to lash out.

Another reason I know

that I got to get out.

It's over.

Yes, this is the end.

We don't need

to be friends.

So once you get to know me.

Yes, it's over.

Yes, this is the end.

Yes, it's...

We don't need

to be friends.

Lights out.

So why don't you

get to walking?

It's on now.

You know,

you're really unbelievable.

I mean,

you cheating me

in things,

but I wasn't going to say

nothing about this.

Serve the ball.

You guys are being crazy.

Yes, this is the end.

Lights out.

We don't need

to be friends.

So why don't you

get to walking?

Yes, it's over.

Yes, this is the end.

We don't need

to be friends.

So why don't you

get to walking?

It's over now, uh.

Injury time-out,

five minutes,

pending medical review.

Shake it off, C-Dub.

You know,

he wouldn't have fallen

if his footwork was just

a little bit neater.

He was airborne.

I don't think footwork

was the issue.

You'd be surprised.

You're the brother,

aren't you?

That's me.

Do you play?

No.

Would you like to learn?

Why does every guy I meet

want to teach me Ping-Pong?

I hate to break it to you,

but it's not exactly

a chick-magnet sport.

Well, it's like that in America,

but you know what?

In China, they would treat me

like Michael Jordan.

Excuse me.

What happened

to the posse?

I'm too nervous.

I feel like

I want to throw up.

Suck it up.

C- Dub's out there

sweating and bleeding.

Worse,

he can't talk,

and you guys sit here

like the see-no-evil monkeys?

Perhaps you could suggest

some cheers?

Do I look like

a cheerleader to you?

Boys, let's show them

what you got.

Mr. Wang is cleared for play.

The final game

will resume.

Harcourt leads

9 to 6.

Yes.

The score is tied.

Champion must win

by 2 points.

Match point, Wang.

Harcourt to serve.

Ah!

Uh!

Ah.

Ah!

Game and match

to Christopher Wang.

He was fantastic,

absolutely fantastic.

That's my son.

Ah!

Gerald, they're going

to make you pay for that.

You want some tea?

I got the thermos open.

Yeah!

Edward, you're late.

We need a partner

for Mrs. Lu.

Grab a paddle.

Oh, you did that.

Dad, hit it like this.

Tell your dad the

manufacturing deal's locked up.

All I need from you is to get

those specs for those shoes.

First thing tomorrow.

Word.

Yo, yo.

What's up, homey?

How's it feel to be

off the leash, man?

Oh, it's all good, playa.

When you got a big dog

like Rabakar's dad in the yard,

ain't no need to be sweating.

Hey, heard that.

Hey, do you want to play

some basketball later?

We haven't played

in forever.

Sorry, dog.

I have to give my moms

a ride home.

But I'll hit you up in the

neighborhood later, all right?

All right.

As long as

your sister's home.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on, Ma.

One last lesson.

Always watch your back!

How you doing?

Splat!

I like, I like,

I like cereal.

Don't put the box away;

I'm about to have me some more.

I like, I like,

I like cereal.

Don't put the box away;

I'm about to have me some more.

Sitting at the table

throwing fits at my mother.

Want my own box.

I don't want to split

with my brother.

The one thing I hated

to admit, he discovered.

Certain cereals will make

the milk different colors.

If you took away my cereal,

you heard screams.

I like Kaboom! 'cause it

always made my poo turn green.

I make a scene

in the store

and start

to act disobedient

if sugar didn't come first

in the ingredients.

Make my mom buy me some,

no matter what it costed.

The best ones started

with the same word, "frosted. "

'Cause if it ain't sugary,

it ain't no good.

I hate

health food cereals.

They taste like wood.

I like, I like,

I like cereal.

I eat my Wheaties

for breakfast.

No one can mess with

the champ.

I'm the champ.

Oh, yes.

Today I'm a winner.

I'll eat you

for dinner.

I'm a champ.

I'm a champ.

God gave me talent.

I'm a super machine.

I'm better than the dudes

that I see on TV.

I'm a champ,

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