Ping Pong Playa Page #7

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I'm doing it

for my family, man.

Ain't doing it so I can get

no stupid parade

and ride around with

Miss Chinatown and.

God, I hate that

Miss Chinatown.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It just perpetuates the whole

idea of the exotic Asian women.

I mean, half the people

that go see Miss Chinatown

aren't even Chinese.

Yeah, I feel you on that.

I feel you.

You know, a lot of those girls

don't even speak Chinese.

Serious?

That's what

my whole dissertation is on,

the objectification and

exoticizing of Chinese women.

Oh, that's tight.

So you in college, then?

Grad school.

Asian-American studies.

Cool.

Anyway, I got to go make Felix

ingest some protein.

Thanks for bringing him back.

No worries.

Oh, are you going to

the tournament next weekend?

Um, dissertation.

But maybe I'll try to make...

stop by.

What?

Christopher.

Oh, hell no.

All right, look, man,

hey, I said

I was going to play

in the tournament,

but I didn't agree to wear

no damn Daisy Dukes.

Daisy what?

Man, why I got

to wear those?

This is standard

Ping-Pong clothes.

All competitors

wear these.

Man, Michael

didn't have to wear these.

Son of a.

It's Cheryl,

not Shee-lo,

Cheryl Davis,

regional administrator.

Regional administ...

You can just say

I'm the boss.

You understand boss,

right?

Boss?

Right?

You know,

"You're fired!"

Boss.

Hey, man,

make sure your sister

don't see me in these

tight-ass shorts, man.

And I don't mean like

tight-tight, you hear me?

Word.

Look.

That's tight, man.

My ninjas.

- Dog...

- Not one word.

What are you

doing here anyway?

You going to tell me

my Ping-Pong stinks?

Now, come on, man.

I came here

'cause I got your back.

Round one

will begin in five minutes.

Competitors, please report

to your tables.

All right, man,

let's do this thing.

Aw, yeah,

what's up?

Whistling here,

whistling there.

Whistling

almost everywhere.

Whistling up,

whistling down.

Whistling while

I turn around.

Whistling here,

whistling there.

Whistling

almost everywhere.

Whistling up,

whistling down.

Whistling

while I turn around.

I can't believe it.

One mother match,

and it's already over.

Prince Charles

is going to win.

Maybe I'll see you later?

What's that

supposed to mean, man?

Like you're trying

to kick me while I'm down?

Like you think that just

'cause you win one stupid game

that you're like my master

and commander or something?

No, no, that's not

what I meant.

You think that

just 'cause I'm Chinese

that I'm going to be a passive,

non-aggressive mother?

Hey, hold me back, man,

hold me back.

Please, I just meant that maybe

I'll see you later

in the elimination round, man.

Come again?

The first half of the day, man,

round robin, man,

round robin.

- You mean I'm still in?

- Yes.

Dog, why didn't you

just say so?

Whistling here,

whistling there.

Whistling

almost everywhere.

Whistling up,

whistling down.

Whistling while

I turn around.

Whistling here,

whistling there.

Whistling

almost everywhere.

Whistling up,

whistling down.

Whistling while

I turn around.

First elimination

begins in ten minutes.

All scorers report

to officials' table.

You can't expect him

to change overnight, Ma.

The good thing is, he's finally

following through for once.

Hey, that was...

that was in, man.

Hey, it glanced off

the side of the table, man.

Did you see it

change angle, man?

Dude, it glanced

off the table, man.

Did you see it?

It changed angle, man.

Didn't you see it?

Give me that.

Come on, Chris.

Go back and change

the score, man.

That was a deuce.

We can play that again.

That's a deuce.

Hey, what are you doing, man?

What are you doing,

going back to your chair, man?

Ya!

Man, that last game

was bull, man.

That mother ref

is blind as a mother...

How would you know, man?

You don't even go

to any of my games, man.

Middle school, JV...

You're too old

to remember.

I'm talking

about Ping-Pong.

Man, what are you

ragging on me for, man?

I'm doing this

for you and Mom, man.

I don't even

want to be here.

Actually had

some lucky draws.

That last guy

was a...

You feel me?

That's tight.

I like that.

It's very nice.

We're coming correct,

you got to be hectic.

The people are jumping 'cause

they're feeling electric.

But give me a second

to reject the strike.

Respect the rock beat, people,

I'm the psycho.

Zap the bottle,

twist the cap,

tip the bottle back,

and relax,

as you get whack,

it's just a fact.

Nobody does it

better than us,

and we get so stupid

that we got

to ride the short bus.

Who rock the party?

We rock the party.

Never gonna,

never gonna give up now.

Uh!

Who wants to party?

We want to party.

'Cause tonight

the party don't stop.

Who wants to party?

We want to party.

'Cause tonight

the party don't stop.

Take that one

back to your master.

Ah!

Booyah!

You're next!

We want to party.

'Cause tonight

the party don't stop.

Who wants to party?

We want to party.

I got it going on.

A- give me what you got.

Who wants to party?

We want to party.

'Cause tonight

the party don't stop.

Who wants to party?

We want to party.

Never gonna,

never gonna...

You got this.

These goddamn shorts, man.

Sifu.

What's up, little Gs?

Where you been at?

I've taken the liberty

of outfitting

the shoes you threw away.

I've modified them to include

a hybrid rubber molding

on the side

as well as helium pockets

designed specifically to enhance

your jump-smashing style

of play.

P.B. Rizzle,

my own shoes.

My own nickname.

I mean, can I wear

these, though?

I mean, is it,

like, regulation shoes?

Regulation?

You know, like

the shorts and stuff.

According to the American

Table Tennis Federation,

there is no standard uniform.

Are you kidding me?

You mean all these fools

wear this by choice?

Son of a...

Christopher Wang,

please report for

the championships presentation.

Christopher Wang.

Hey!

I got this.

I got this, man.

I was listening

to you, man.

No matter what happens,

Ping-Pong is like life.

It's not the quick sprint

that matters.

It's...

Just kick his ass.

Booyah.

Booyah.

I got this feeling, man.

I got it,

I got it.

You'll never understand.

You know, uh,

you know, uh,

you know the place to be...

on top, on top,

right next to Booker T.

Let's play,

ha-ha.

Welcome, everyone,

to the championship match

of the Golden Cock

Ping-Pong Championship.

You know,

people ask me,

"Cheryl, how does a girl from

Iowa end up directing an event

sponsored by

the Chinese Community Center?"

And I just say to them,

"Me love a-Ping-Pong

long time. "

So our first competitor,

representing

the new Harcourt International

Institute of Table Tennis

of West Covina,

Gerald Harcourt.

And his challenger,

challenging for the title,

representing

Ping-Pong Palace,

Christopher Wang.

Excuse me.

Christopher "C-Dub" Wang.

Three games

for the match.

The first to 11 wins.

Good luck,

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