Piranha 3DD Page #3

Josh is still sedated

and I'm going to stick

around to take a statement

I'll let you you guys

know if I found anything out

How's Shelby?

She's not making a lot

of sense right now but

I'll keep an eye on her too

How about you, you alright?

I'm pretty tired

Get some rest and I'll call you

I'm a Love Hunter, hear what I say

Get on your knees learn how to play

Cause a Love Hunter is coming

to take you away

Love Hunter coming today

That is so sad

Come to bed, Hoffy

It's nappy time

I'm a Love Hunter hear what I'll say

Looks like Donna is ready to play

I'm Rachel

-I'm Donna

-Right

I'm a love Hunter

Two chicks for me

because I am the brightest stars on TV

Yeah, lets party

Welcome to Rock Bottom

Sorry, can you get this thing open?

Wait

I do not know if I can do this

All you is keep baby steps,

little baby steps

What the hell are talking

about baby steps for?

In case you haven't know

fish ate my damn legs

I hate water, I hate it

Remember what

doctor Smith's said

This is all about the road to recovery

strut out with harmless little kiddy pool

I mean, what the worst

that could happen

Couple of kids will

do to you, that's all

Kids...

I can handle that

I'm not afraid of some punk-ass water

I'm not afraid of some punk-ass water

I can't

Don't worry about it, we'll

figure out something else

No, this is weak

-Dump me in the water

-What?

You heard what I said, get

behind the seat, grab the handles

and dump my sorry ass in the water

The way the parent toss

their kid into the pool

when they want to swim

This is a great idea

Alright I can do this

-One, two

-Stop

-Okay okay right, what happened?

-Why you stop?

-You said stop

-Don't listen to my p*ssy-ass-mouth

No matter what I'll say,

dump me into the water

Okay got it

Not going to listen to

your p*ssy-ass-mouth

I mean you don't have

a p*ssy-ass-mouth

Dump me in the water

Okay, here we go

One, two..

Ah sh*t, no no I changed my mind

No, no you're going in

I changed my mind, I don't

want to go in the water

I don't want to go in the water

-You're going in

-Hey

Leave him alone

No no he wants to go in

No, no the hell I do

I don't want to go in

What's wrong with you? Don't push

that poor legless stump in the pool

Yeah, that's right don't push this

poor legless stump in the pool

Okay, you know what, you

going to go in the water....

No, I dont want to go

Not cool man

I'm not afraid of

some punk-ass-water

Not cool at all

Ladies and gentlemen

Boys and girls

Hot moms of all ages

Welcome to the BIG WE

and now the moment you

all been waiting for

The most famous life

guard of all time

Who wants to party

with the Hoff?

Welcome David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff

Ladies

You know ladies if you

play your card right

You may get private

mouth to mouth resuscitation

Alright without any further a do

Lets all get wet and wild

How are you doing? feeling good?

Come here, gorgeous, my dear

You're beautiful, you're beautiful

kiss of life

Goodbye now

I knew it

What are you doing back here Maddy?

I saw this when I was taking inventory but

But I didn't think to ask why

it's here until now

Well we pumping our own water now

f*** the utilities right?

You can't fill this

Water Park off a well

It's not a standard well

We drilled down a whole lot

further hit an underwater lake

We got enough water

to last until forever

You have no idea

what you've done

Oh sure I did, got us a

nice big fat profit

You don't understand,

you could be

pumping out Piranhas straight

through the water intake pipes

Maddy, its opening day

I have shelled out a

hundred thousand dollars

And you want me to close shop

because there might

Might be Piranha in the pipe.

What else?

Ghosts? Boogieman? Sharks? Snakes?

You're laughable. Laughable

Come on kid..

You been watching too

many movies little girl

You should read romance novels

Are we done? I got work to do

-Mommy I got bit

-Let me see

Oh honey, you just scrape

yourself on something

Go tell a life guard,

he'll get you a bandage

-No mom, it was a Piranha

-It was not a Piranha

What too many people been

talking about Piranha

Now scoot

Hello, hello

-Hello, hey

-Hey

-I got bit by a Piranhas

-What's your name, kid?

-David

-David

That's pretty cool

that my name too

Here you go

-What's this?

-Autograph

-Can I just have a bandage?

-Wait a minute

-You don't know who I am?

-No

You never saw Baywatch?

Running in slow motion

-How about Night Rider?

-No

Talking car? Anaconda 3?

Jekyll and Hyde on Broadway?

-What?

-Mr. Hasselhoff

Hey back off, I'm talking

to my made man here

-You really have no idea who I am?

-Yeah, you're a life guard

and I need a bandage

Can I have a bandage for my

made man David here please?

Sponge bob?

I just going to get

the bandage tomorrow

I'm a life guard

-Are you okay?

-I saw a fish in the splash pool

I know this is crazy

but it was a Piranha.

Like the one on the news. I swear to god

Everybody out of the pool

You got to get them out of the pool.

Right now

Hey, no running

Game over Chet, we got to

shut the Water Park down right now

What sort of no f***ing

way don't you hear?

A woman saw a Piranha

in the splash pool

Did you see it? Did you see it?

-No

-You got nothing

I'm evacuating this Water

Park whether you like it or not

Maddy, Maddy,

Maddy

Chet's right, okay

You just going to

cause more panic

-I'm sorry, whose side are you on?

-I'm on a side that being calm

-Lets just go check things up okay?

-You don't believe me

I'm the one who called you

and you don't f***ing believe me

Come on kids get out of the pool,

please get out of the Water Park

Please just get out of the water

Maddy, I can't let you do this

Let go of me

What the f*** are you doing man?

Let her go

What are going to

do shark boy huh?

F*** me with your f***ing child-ding?

Let me give you a

piece of advice buddy

You going to need a bigger one

Come on

Oh my God

Come on, go, go

They're back, they're back

They'll find you, they

always f***ing find you

No matter where you go

Bring me my legs son

Titanium motherfuckers

Eat this

-I hate the water

-I hate fish

Help, help, help me

Heffy, people are dying

You're a life guard, do something

I'm not a life guard, never was one

Help, help me, help

-When are you going to help?

-Once these idiots get out of the water

Its not like the fish are

going to follow them home

Help me, help

Help me

You went back into the water,

you little ginger moron

Heffy, you're a life guard man

Holy f***, I'm getting old

I got you

I'm here to rescue

I actually am doing the rescue

Can you put me down now?

Chet

Chet

You see them? You see them now?

We got to drain the pool

Hey Barry, Barry

I need you to go and pump out

and force drain a pool

I've never done that before

It's easy, there are

levers, they are down

You push them straight up

-I got it

-Thanks

Wait, no matter what happens

I loved you since 7th grade.

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