Pitching Tents Page #2

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Next year is our 25th

anniversary,

and you promised to take me to

Paris,

since we had to skip our

honeymoon.

Yeah well, that was Pete's

fault.

You were very worth it honey.

Okay, asseyez-vous, you're

dad needs to get to work.

Oh yeah, why is he going to

work now?

They need some extra help at

the plant.

Honey, dinner.

Where you Daniel?

Making out with your gay

friends?

Like some kind of a loser

boomerang?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what

happened to sloppy Joe night?

It's coq-au-vin.

It's chicken with onions and

mushrooms, in a wine sauce.

Now, why are you so late Daniel?

Mr. mulligan, my guidance

counselor,

wanted to meet with me.

He says he can get me into

slippery rock.

He, uh, wants me to meet up

with some guy from there on

Monday.

Mr. mulligan thinks I need

to go to college to get a job.

Yeah, I know, it's just he

thinks that it's, you know...

nah, nah, you know, college,

it's a waste of four years,

so, you know what, tell him

he can stop filling your head

with those crazy thoughts.

Bruce, I think that

now is the time for you

to tell Danny your news.

I got you a job at the plant.

What?

I thought they weren't hiring?

They weren't, I got you in.

Tres bien!

Yeah, but I'm still in high

school.

No, it's part time until you

graduate,

and, and nine bucks an hour.

Nine bucks?

Well, he's actually going

to graduate high school.

Let's see Mr. mulligan

make that kind of money.

So, Sunday, you'll come down,

I'll show you around right?

Sunday, he's going to be

face down in a puddle of puke.

What the hell is that supposed

to mean?

So what, I'm not going to

trout camp.

Yeah, he's going to paint

Todd's grandfather's barn

in Pleasantville this weekend.

It's been on the calendar for

weeks.

Oh, yeah, right.

Your brother isn't like you.

He doesn't gamble with his

future.

Alright, he knows

Bridgetown would never hire

a kid who got busted for

underage drinking, right?

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah, I know dad, and I'm not.

I'm not going to trout camp.

Trout camp's gonna be awesome!

Legendary!

And I just hope I can go.

Oh, dude, you're going.

You gotta go, you're our ride.

I told you a thousand times.

Pot doesn't do anything to me.

Pot and chicks.

When I find goddess camp,

I'm not telling you.

Your gonna waste your time man.

You just wind up walking through

the woods

with poison Ivy on your balls.

Oh,

but I have a secret weapon.

My cousin's map shows all

the places he's searched

back since the sighting in '79.

While you guys are looking

for make believe Poontang

I'll be banging the real thing.

Yeah right, dream on.

Hey save some for me dickweeds.

Guess what my uncle Randy

brought back

from his business trip in Japan?

Gonorrhea?

Good one.

A freakin' Sony Discman.

Yeah, you dweebs won't be able

to get one of these for years.

Alright, I read about

these in rolling stone.

Cd's are just a fad alright.

Yeah, says the DJ from

the honky-tonk station.

Sh*t!

Just paying my dues there,

but for the record, it's classic

country.

Yeah, for the record,

it's just background music

for truckers getting laid.

Oh, sh*t!

Ooh, Mr. Danny, that's

cool, what is that dude?

Oh thanks, it's the

cars' next album cover.

They just don't know it yet.

Nice!

He seems a little stressed.

If you got a ticket to

slippery rock, take it!

I don't know man, my

dad seems freaked out.

Take the job.

It's nine bucks and

hour with great health.

And reek of cobalt like his

idiot brother.

If I wasn't already accepted to

the Columbia school of

broadcasting,

I mean, I'd ask his old man for

a job.

Okay, you weren't accepted.

They accept anybody who sends a

check.

Shut the hell up Wachowski.

It's alright guys, I'll figure

it out.

Come on guys, stand up.

To titties!

Trees, and trout!

Allons, Allons-y.

Allons-y!

Let's go!

Hey

why do I smell skunk?

Oh I ran over a dead skunk or

something,

you know what, I should

probably go take a shower.

Hold on!

Come here please.

Look at what your father brought

home.

Try it on!

Let's see.

Oh, it fits you perfectly.

We don't have to special

order it, like your brothers.

Huge head, here.

Oh!

Oh, tres Beau!

Look how handsome he looks.

What?

Aw, you look just like your

father.

Danny

Danny!

Danny!

You're going to be late for

school.

Danny!

Oh my god, mom!

Get out!

A woman can be stiff,

when on love intent,

but love has

pitched his mansion,

in the place of

excrement.

For nothing can be sole or

whole,

that has not been rent.

What did Yeats mean when he

said, "pitched his mansion?"

Anyone, anyone, anyone,

anyone, anyone, anyone,

listening to me?

Can you hear me back there?

Oh, okay.

Listen, I know you're going

camping this weekend kids.

I've read about what happens

there.

Please, protect yourselves,

no drinking, or smoking, or

partying.

Catch a fish for crying out

loud.

Or crabs!

That's not funny, that's

a serious condition.

The gaming commission

said you could win $500

for catching the biggest trout.

Five hundred bucks is a lot of

money.

I'm more interested

in smelling like a fish

what's more important Ms.

Keyes,

the length, or the girth?

That's an inappropriate

question young man.

Girth.

Uh, hey Adrianne.

Skanky Ann

up yours dork.

They just accepted me into the

Barbizon school of modeling.

They said, I'm clearly

very fashion forward,

and I show a lot of promise.

I mean that's really

great, you know, um,

so you gonna be at

trout camp this weekend?

Um, yeah, but you know

I'm dating Bobby now?

Hard to miss with you two

making out in shop class.

Oh no, no, it's fine, you know,

Bobby's a great guy.

You know, Danny is going to

slippery rock in the fall.

You?

The only book I've ever seen

you open

is your sketch book for

your little doodles.

It's not really finalized

and all that yet, but...

it just happened really fast,

you know.

Huh!

Well, good for you.

Maybe I will see you at trout

camp.

Maybe you won't.

Todd, why do you have

to talk to that b*tch?

Shut the hell up.

Don't let up where

we're setting up camp.

Yeah, but we don't

want them to know that.

Hey, Shelley.

So, uh, where you setting up

this year?

I'm not sure.

Oh, we're going to try

Pyrenees bend.

Us too!

Close to campo grande, and

I hear they got ten kegs.

Cool

so I'll see you there then.

Guess so.

What the hell!

Sorry, I panicked.

It's cool, we got what we

needed.

Fighting, courage to the core!

Rock pride is mounting,

s.R.U. Forever more!

That is the slippery rock theme

song.

Now Danny, you do have

to have an essay ready

by Monday morning.

Oh, I do.

Yeah, nothing major, just...

Some crap about perseverance,

personal struggles,

overcoming the odds,

they eat that sh*t up.

Ah, trout camp!

I'll whip up something so sad,

they'll read it and

cry like they got their

d*cks caught in the escalator.

Thank you so much Mr.

Mulligan, that's awesome.

I understand, there's

a lot of questions.

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