Pitching Tents Page #3

Synopsis: A mysterious goddess, a vulgar guidance counselor and a no-nonsense father all want to help Danny figure out his future while he sneaks off to the woods with his buddies for a weekend of girls, beer and THE party of 1984.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jacob Cooney
Production: Meritage Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.1
Year:
2017
90 min
Website
24 Views


I'll take care of them too.

And try not to get into too much

trouble.

Don't be fresh.

Team is fighting...

that guy is a freakazoid.

Trout camp f***ers!

You're listening to Phil from

the hill,

and thank you for listening

to oil city's classic country.

You're going to

get me fired man!

- Come on man, let's do this!

- Come on!

Alright, let's go, watch the

door.

There it is.

Let's get you in here.

Come on.

Hey grandpa!

How you doing?

Ooh, watch the head.

Okay.

Lock him up.

I don't know about this dude.

Let's just make sure he gets

back before family feud starts.

Come on, move it.

Take your wine cooler and

your porn and get out.

Alright you're up.

I'll get you next time.

That's what you said last time.

I'm a little short this month

okay.

Oh boy!

Alright, what do I owe you?

And a box of these, yeah!

It's tradition!

Tradition, you're making up

traditions.

Every time I pay, you

make up a tradition.

No, I'm not.

What's going on?

Oh, we're out of quarters, and

dimes.

It's money, let's get going.

I want to get out there

before those pissants

take the best spots.

Well, at least you could take

the box.

"My sciatica, my everything,

my back."

Shut up!

Mom likes me best.

Anything else grandpa?

Okay, I guess that'll do it.

Hang on, the old man didn't

say a word.

That's coz the Japs

ripped out his vocal cords

with a bayonet at the battle of

the bulge.

He drinks to forget about it,

but thanks for bringing it up.

Wait a minute.

The battle of the bulge was in

Europe.

You want to tell him that?

Thank you for your service.

This way.

Grandpa just got us beer,

and he doesn't know what year it

is.

Okay, always great

hanging out with you grandpa.

Come on grandpa!

We'll see you next time grandpa!

Oh my god, who farted?

Oh, I bet, I think grandpa

crop dusted.

It's getting stronger!

It's in my mouth.

Window!

Window!

Air it out!

Air it out!

Let me out!

Unlock the door Danny!

Let me out!

Why did we park so far away?

He wanted me to park out

here, and use the back door.

Okay, Danny, I need you to come

with me.

He used to hang out

with your older brother.

He might give us a better deal,

alright?

I don't even know why we need

weed.

It's habit forming, you know.

I don't want to see you go down

that path.

Shut up dude.

He should be here.

Yo!

God!

Who's this Hector?

Relax man, it's Pete

Whitaker's brother, Danny.

Is he an a**hole like his

brother?

Just let us inside.

I wanna show Danny your doll

collection.

F*** you, those are my

mom's cabbage patch kids.

Someone just stole Geneva Gina,

and she almost killed me.

Was that you?

Um no, it wasn't.

Stash, come on.

I just got this stuff in.

- Oh, yeah, wow.

- Holy sh*t.

F***ing a, right?

Acapulco gold.

Okay how much?

Well for you...

A hundred.

What can I get for 50?

Alright, show stash the cash.

Okay!

Alright.

So uh, what are you guys doing?

You want to uh, roll a doob, or

chill out?

Oh, it's alright, maybe some

other time.

We gotta go.

You sure?

Yeah.

Hold on.

Dude, where's he go,

he just walked off...

oh sh*t, it's the fuzz!

Why are they running?

Go, come on!

Just get in!

Drive, drive, drive!

I'm not taking you anywhere.

Bro, if I explain this weed in

your car,

I told you we didn't need pot.

Who's this douche.

Danny, just pull away, slow.

Unemployment at a record high

people coming

people going

people born to die

don't ask me

because I don't know why

but it's like that

and that's the way it is

people in the world.

Oh there's Henry's Van

trying to make ends meet

pull in over there.

You try to ride car,

hope you brought

train, bus or feet

a five man tent.

I said you gotta work hard.

Watch it!

And that's the way it is.

You need to lay off the dope

because I didn't even touch you.

Huh

yes!

Yo stash, what the hell man,

this is my mom's car.

No wonder the back seat looked

familiar.

Shut up!

God, what an a**hole.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Yo, you pitched your tent in our

spot.

Your spot?

We were here first.

Naw, see this can.

I put it here last year, saved

the area.

Bullshit.

You calling stash a liar?

Your not even going

to fish, and this spot

has the best access to the

creek.

Oh, we're going fishing.

Fishing for babes.

See those hot chicks over there?

They ain't going to f*** you

nerds.

Stash, let's just find another

spot.

No, we're camping right here.

You guys did it all wrong

anyway.

And it's way too close to the

pisser.

What is he...

forget it, let's just go guys.

What?

We're moving.

Mighty Christian of you boys.

We'll send out sloppy seconds

downstream.

I can not believe that

jerk-off is with us.

Don't worry man, we'll

ditch him at the party.

I don't think we're getting rid

of him.

Forget about it, okay.

Let's just have some

beers, and meet some girls,

and have a great weekend.

Alright, fine.

Alright?

Yeah

dude!

Hey Ronnie, what's up?

Screw you Danny.

What I do?

Speaking of miracles,

it's a miracle that I'm even

here today,

and able to apply, considering

most of my father's ancestors

perished, writhing in their

own blood, and feces, and urine

during the great Irish potato

famine.

I got it ma.

Hello?

I said I got it for Christ's

sake.

Don't you yell at me.

Hello

hey Warren, don bishop.

Oh, Heya don.

I heard frank from

slippery rock is meeting

Danny Whitaker on Monday.

Good work, you're stepping up

your game.

Proud of you.

Oh, thanks don.

Keep it up.

Uh, say hi to your mom.

Will do, alright thanks,

goodbye.

Hey ma!

Don says hello!

Wow, you really play

a righteous air guitar.

Oh, if you're lucky, I'll

show you my Yngwie Malmsteen.

If you come any closer,

I'll show you a can of mace.

Ugh, he makes my skin crawl.

I don't know if I can put up

with that cretin all weekend.

I'm going to fish this year.

You say that every year.

Brought my poles and bait.

Better than last year

when you used dynamite,

and almost blew my whole hand

off.

It was an m 80, and

your pinky nail grew back.

It took four months.

Yeah, there's a lot

of jerks around here.

Running all through the woods.

If I don't catch that fish,

I think I may kill one of those

kids.

Done it before.

Done it before.

How long you holding onto that

torch

statue of Liberty?

What are our chances with them?

You?

Slim to none.

Me?

A sure thing probably.

There it is.

Love comes

and it flows like water

call of the wild.

Burning

with the hope of insight

time to party!

We are we are we are

we're just children

finding our way around

indecision

we are we are we are

rather helpless

boys, boys, boys.

Welcome to campo grande,

and the party of 1984.

Where'd you get this Hector.

Ain't a stash that trout cant

find here.

Dude, it's going to blow away

the party from the '70's okay.

Five bucks, let's go.

This is how it works boys, okay.

Brew over there.

Pisser over there.

Chicks, well, they're

everywhere.

We got something moldy

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Rob A. Fox

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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