Pitching Tents Page #5

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think I can figure out the rest.

What the hell.

Where'd he come from?

He fell down into our camp.

So you brought him here?

Do you really think a

guy just stumbled upon us

yes, and he might have a

concussion.

Is this goddess camp?

Look, he has no idea where he

is.

And I will lead him out

of here blind folded.

Okay?

We don't have a choice, do we.

And if we find one of his

buddies lurking around,

there's going to be trouble.

I'm never drinking again.

Didn't anyone ever teach you?

You need a little hair

of the dog that bit you.

Oh, it's all in your head.

Man, I gotta take a sh*t.

Guys, just keep an eye on my

rod.

That sounds so gay dude.

There's not even anything left.

Hey, sorry if I like

caused a problem or anything.

Oh you didn't, my friends

can be a little intense

about their privacy.

Yeah

can't believe I actually

found goddess camp.

We're not goddesses, we're

friends

who like to chill out after

finals.

Yeah, some of the girls have

been coming

to this spot for years.

We don't want the word

to get out and ruin it.

I can understand that.

Most guys don't.

We've been spotted a few times,

and we've become this secret

society of amazonian lesbians.

And every year, some horny high

schooler

thinks he's Indiana Jones

searching for us

like we're the lost ark.

It's sad.

Well, I'm not one of them.

What?

Horny or high schooler?

Boys, boys, boys, boys!

Come here you fish bastard!

- Oh crap!

- Holy sh*t!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait, wait!

Whoa, whoa!

While you were out

lollygagging, I caught it.

That's my pole, I baited it, I

cast it,

that's my fish.

Anyone can throw a worm in the

water,

the art's in catching it.

The baby's mine.

Bullshit.

Whoa!

We came here to party,

and have a good time,

not fight over a fish alright.

Why don't you just throw it

back.

Let me think about that.

Uh...

The prize money will buy

me sh*t loads of bacon,

Jesus, is pot the only

thing you care about?

Pot and p*ssy.

You little douche bag!

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Hey ladies!

Take a look at my huge trout!

Yuck, why do they hang out

with him?

Because, he's never without

weed.

So, they would rather get high

with him,

than hook up with us?

Come on, toughen up you p*ssy!

Hah, hey guess how you

order steak in France?

Oh, don't know, don't care.

Biftek et frites!

You're going to need to

learn when we go to Paris.

Oh honey, look, hey,

you wanna know a place that's

romantic,

niagra falls.

Yeah, those Canadians, they

put all their signs in French.

That's not romantic.

How about Atlantic city?

Honey, very romantic.

You know Bobby Vinton

plays there all the time.

Oh, you know, you know...

Roses are r...

don't you dare.

24 years you have been promising

me.

Now I have clipped coupons,

and bought store brand.

I have sold Tupperware,

and Mary Kaye and Avon,

which is a conflict of interest,

I have skimped on nail

salons and hair salons

and dry cleaning to save money.

You are taking me

to Paris!

Okay, I'm taking you to par...

Honey, I'm just kidding around.

Honey, come on, honey, come on.

I'm taking...

hey Bruce, Caroline.

Hey, Bonjour Mike,

you're not on duty today?

No, I was, I worked a double.

Hey there Pete, haven't

seen you in awhile.

No, you have not.

So anyway, Bruce.

Its none of my business, but

last night

I broke up an underage

drinking party at trout camp,

and Danny was there.

Busted!

Hey, shut it.

Danny's not at trout camp,

he's helping a friend in

Pleasantville.

Oh no, he was, I saw

him with my own eyes.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I was this close to him.

I saw him.

I think you must've mistook

some other kid for Danny.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Maybe I did.

See you guys around.

Bruce, don't get carried...

Caroline, don't.

I can't believe stash

is going to win the money.

Maybe someone will catch a

bigger one.

No way!

I don't care, let that ass wipe

win.

Buy all the weed he can get

his douche bag hands on,

and smoke himself into a pot

induced coma.

Well, as long as you don't care.

Wow, so your counselor tells you

he can get you into slippery

rock,

the same day your dad

gets you into Bridgetown?

You gotta be totally stressed

out.

I just don't get how

people can expect you to make

a decision at 18 that

affects your whole life.

My parents were convinced

I'd become a doctor.

I told my dad that I

wanted to study sociology,

and back pack through Europe,

and he threw up.

Literally, mashed potatoes

all over my mother.

It was classic.

It's pretty funny.

What made you want to study

sociology?

I knew I wanted to

help people in some way,

but I just couldn't stomach

pre-med, and all that blood.

You did a pretty good

job patching me up.

Well, you're lucky it wasn't

any worse.

I would have left you for the

bears.

Just look at 'em.

Huh?

They are so flirting with us.

Acting like they're not paying

attention.

Wait, how do you know they're

acting?

Because it's what they do.

Just make them think we're

ignoring them.

I am ignoring them.

Me catching that fish

turned the little one on.

Then why don't they come over

here?

'Cause then we'd think they're

easy.

Wait so, they wanna come over

here,

because they're easy, but

they won't come over here

because they don't us

to know they're easy.

Ding-ding, circle gets the

square.

But don't you guys worry.

I'm going to figure out a

way to get 'em over here.

Bruce, I don't think

this is a good idea.

Pete!

Let's go!

So um, what's Pittsburgh like?

Oh, I love it.

My place is on Southside, near

Jack's bar.

Carson street is so much fun.

I've only been to Pittsburgh

once,

for like a class trip to the

zoo.

Well, you should check

it out this summer.

I'd like that, for sure.

Um, I gotta figure out

what I'm doing first,

'cause there's a good

chance I might be working.

So, slippery rock's out?

I don't know,

I mean uh,

you know, going to

college would be a blast,

but working at Bridgetown

would mean a lot to my dad.

You know it's like a family

tradition.

Um, life's a puzzle.

Make sure you don't try to force

pieces

where they don't fit.

You know if sociology doesn't

work out,

you should definitely try

being a guidance counselor.

I'm getting tired.

I'm trying here.

Just get it up already.

This has never

happened to me before.

I think I heard something.

It's probably a bear or

something.

What!

Bobby!

Oh Bobby!

Bobby, thank god, I'm lost.

You have any Colamine lotion.

I got poison Ivy on my balls.

Listen, Mr. m., I'm a little

busy here.

Listen, Mr. m., why don't

you go way over there?

Get outta here.

F***er.

Pete!

Come on!

This is so cool.

We haven't been hunting together

in years.

We're not hunting.

We're hunting for Danny's ass.

You guys haven't lured

them over here yet?

They're never coming

over here with you around.

Men and women are meant to be

together.

Maybe not this time.

Bullshit.

And the apple, and the snake,

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