Pixels Page #7

Yeah.

The only way to beat these things.

Count the bullets, calculate the

speeds, crunch the numbers.

Where's the fun in that?

Oh, boy.

Why, what do you do?

You pretend you're the guy,

and you didn't want to die.

Yeah, that sounds cool, but it's

not gonna work every time.

That's why you have

your reset button.

We don't have those growing up.

The most violent game

I've ever seen.

I don't like it.

It isn't healthy for you.

It's fine, I can handle it.

I'm not talking to you,

I'm talking to homeboy.

So much blood!

Yeah, you know what

will cheer you up?

- A cheese ball.

- Yep.

Huh?

Come on, suck one up.

Take a hand full.

That was smooth.

That was very smooth.

You know we should get

him some exercise...

...maybe throw him on the trampoline

for a little bit?

Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline!

Okay, how about me, and him do that,

while you go ask my mom

to the ball tomorrow night?

Unfortunately,

I'm not attracted to your mother.

Bull crap!

You're right, I am.

Okay...

...finish these.

You're getting chubby.

Hi.

Hi.

So...

So...?

Sorry!

Again! Again!

So I'm feeling obligated to make an

appearance to that thing tomorrow night.

I was wondering

when you got there...?

...possible you would like to hang out

with me while I was there?

- Like a date?

- Like a date, but... yeah.

I didn't know about that.

I'm a snob,

I have mental problems.

Well, you know, you are,

and you do but...

...I'm willing to overlook that

for the evening.

Okay.

You will?

Um hmm.

Three, four.

Thank you, thank you.

Nice welcome for a change, huh?

Bring it down, Travolta,

bring it down.

They love you big man!

Good to see the respect, pal.

Well, looky here, Serena.

They threw me a big party

to thank me for saving the world.

And you get to stand next

to me all night!

- Champagne, sir?

- Thank you.

They promised me

an island if I did this.

Oh!

I'm dying to met Sam's

new lady friend.

She's nothing.

It's just a little hanging out thing.

- Yeah, sure.

- Insurance.

Is she pretty, Will?

Define pretty.

I mean, you're pretty.

- Extremely pretty.

- Thank you.

She, I think, in the classical sense

of the word, is...

- Brenner, help me out here.

- You're doing great, keep going.

You know, she...

for military personnel, certainly...

You're the first lady...

She's a ten.

Hey, Brenner!

Hey, Brenner.

Excuse me for a second.

Come on Matty, let's Dance!

You look nice in a tux.

Green is officially my

favorite color now.

I have a question for you.

The President said I'm on call tonight,

so I can only have half a beer.

I know you like drinking out

of sippy cups, but...

...want to split a bottle with me?

What happened?

- You brush your teeth.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

- Alright, lead the way.

You got it.

Let's hear about Sinnamon.

What's she look like?

- Oh God, are you kidding?

- I want to know.

She's a husband stealing Pilates teacher.

She's hot!

And limber.

It doesn't matter.

Yes, actually it does!

She's not perfect though, right?

Girls like that who steals husbands...

...always got one thing wrong with them.

Come on.

Her forehead's too big?

No.

- Mole on the chin?

- No.

- Two different nostrils?

- No!

She's...

flawless.

She's...

I mean, her eyes.

Her eyes are a little far apart.

Kinda looks like a flounder.

There it is!

Good.

So tonight, your doppy ex-husband is going

to be looking into those eyes and saying:

"What kind of choice did I make?"

"I use to stare into the

most beautiful eyes I've ever seen...

...and now I'm stuck staring at

the fillet fish sandwich."

Did you say I have beautiful eyes?

While insulting the other chick.

Wow.

That is really, really, really, good.

Thank you.

Can I have some of that?

No? I thought we were splitting?

Hoo-ah!

You know?

Everybody likes:

"Brenner this" and "Brenner that."

But make no mistake, Fireblaster

is the leader of this crew.

Who's the Fireblaster, again?

Me, Serena! Alright, let me just

cut to the chase here.

Fireblaster been in prison for 8 years.

He hasn't been with a woman

since '05.

You're in for...

...the time of your life.

Even think of touching me, and I'm gonna

to smack you through the wall.

I'd have it no other way.

Should have gone with

Martha Stewart.

At least then I would have a tasty panini

cooked for me, or some sh*t.

So, what are you gonna do

after all this?

Are you gonna go back

to the Nerd Brigade?

Wow.

Yeah. Yeah.

Probably. I mean...

what else would I do?

I think someone

with your skills...

...would be better off inventing

technology rather than installing it.

I don't know, of course I would love to

do something different.

You know, I had my shot...

...when I was a kid in the arcades.

But...

...I blew it.

Yeah, I was thinking that maybe

my life would have been different.

Anytime I'm getting on a roll...

...or I feel like,

everything is going great...

...a giant ape throws

another barrel at me.

But.. it's all good...

...don't worry, "Hooyah".

"Hooyah."

Ladies and gentlemen, I proud to

introduce a special message...

...to the arcaders from P.S. 427...

...in New York City.

New York was in trouble.

Pac-Man caused a ruckus.

But the arcaders saved us.

Because they are brave sons of...

People of the earth...

...have violated

the rules of warfare, dude.

Violated the rules?

Because of this, you have forfeit,

and the planet is now ours.

Dudes, in 12 hours...

...we'll commence with the

all out destruction of earth.

After that, we sing this

about your precious planet

She's gone!

Oh, I better

learn how to face...

What the heck are they talking about?

Where are you going, Fireblaster?

Oh, hi kid.

I told Serena

I needed to get some air.

You know... I've only known her

half an hour and she's already...

" Mrs. Fireblaster this,

Mrs. Fireblaster that".

A cop fished these out of the river

the night you went in.

I was going to give them back to you,

but...

I saw some interesting things

written on the inside of the lens.

The Pac-Man cheating code

for super speed.

- You're a cheater.

- So what?

Used cheats codes back in the day

to help me dominate.

So I figured why not use them

for the big show, and they worked.

You've been a cheater your whole life?

No.

Only since I was 10.

That's how I beat your boy

Brenner at the world championships.

I owe everything I have to

these bitchin' shades.

What did you do?

I didn't do anything.

I thought we obeyed every rule!

You thought wrong, civilian!

We squandered our one chance on you!

A high fiber moment.

- But I swear...

- But nothing!

You heard Hall and Oates!

You blew it!

I've seen your files.

You've never accomplished

a dam thing in your life.

Brenner won two battles, Admiral.

That's two more than you.

I wouldn't get smart with me, colonel.

You were all over this sideshow that did

nothing but waste valuable time.

Sometimes I wonder if you not working

for the Martians, yourself!

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