Please Kill Mr. Know It All Page #2

Synopsis: An anonymous advice columnist finds herself caught in an unlikely romance with the man who has been hired to kill her alter ego.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Romance
Production: Monarch Home Entertainment
  1 win & 6 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.6
Year:
2012
87 min
Website
35 Views


Just reminding you.

All done?

Yeah, boss.

I was gonna make sure that little

weasel has sung his last song.

Weasels don't sing.

What?

A canary sings, not a weasel.

You're mixing your metaphores.

What time is it?

Where is Stella? We're gonna be

late for Rocko's kids conformation.

She's always late.

Stella, come one!

Where are you taking me?

What are you wearing?

Uh... A dress?

That looks stupid.

The girl at the store said

it's the style these days.

So the style these

days is to look stupid?

Come on, you can't go like

that. You gotta change.

We're in a hurry, we're

late and i'm hungry. Please.

Sorry.

It's okay, will you

please just hurry up.

Will you guys do something?

Like fix something...

...paint something, kill

somebody. Just do something.

What's a metaphore?

Excuse me.

I've never done this before, but...

I just wanted to say

that i'm a real fan.

And I love your work.

I can't believe that I have

bumped into you like this.

It was a pleasure to meet you.

Totally Called Cars,

Our pain is your gain.

I'm calling my marker.

What? No hey Bud, what's

new, How have you been?

Hi, Bud what's new? How have you been?

Same old, same old.

What can I do you for?

I need your expertize,

someone got a good look at me.

Bummer, man.

- Yeah.

Weirdest thing, she

thought I was somebody else.

Good to know you're following

the rules there, pal.

Rule number 7, bail if you

can placed at the job site.

Are you free?

It needs to be done soon.

Well, pretty busy on

the lot there today.

And i'm in the middle of

redecorating my office.

But, i'm sure I could juggle a

few things for you, Albie old boy.

I could fly in this evening. Do

you want me to bring you anything?

...Mysterious Mr Know It All...

Let's see what these ladies have to say.

- Just yourself.

Well, he may Know It All, but so cute...

Hey Mr Know It All, i

could teach you something.

Get in line, girl.

There you have it, I think

we're all stand in line...

To get to know just a little

bit more about Mr Know It All.

Back to you, Bob.

Thank you, Gale.

And in an unrelated story...

Do I have an identical twin brother?

Yes, you do.

I kept him in the attic

for the last 30 years.

He has a mental problem.

I didn't think it was safe

to let him out on his own.

Really?

- No, what's the matter with you?

You never phoned, I can't remember

the last time you were here...

I was there for your birthday, mom.

That doesn't count.

What do you mean it doesn't

count? Of course it counts.

Don't you get fresh with me!

You may think you're a tough guy...

But I could beat the sh*t

out of you in my sleep.

Sorry mom, i've been

really busy. I just got...

One more thing to do and then

i'll have a lot more time.

Get off your ass and do it.

Yes, mom.

And don't get killed.

- Mom...

We have an exclusive, a treat

for you with Mr Know It All.

He is quite a looker, brains

and smarts, he's so beautiful.

Sh*t!

You're that guy!

No.

- Yeah, you're Mr Know It All.

I never forget a face.

- No.

Yeah you are.

Hey, this is Mr Know It All.

What?

You know Mr Know It

All, that advice guy.

Hey, can I have your autograph?

It's for my girlfriend.

You don't have a girlfriend.

Yeah I do.

- Yeah, nice try, You missed him.

I don't... I do...

Hey that's Mr Know It All.

Hey, hey...

- Mr Know It All!

Excuse me.

- Oh my gosh...

Mr Know It All!

It's ridiculous.

Wankers.

Success?

Of course, i'm a professional.

This will kill you, Bud.

Yeah, thanks for the tip.

Hey, you look good on TV.

A little heavier, but good.

This guy is ruining my life.

I got people coming

up to me on the street.

They're asking for my autograph.

They're telling me their problems.

Yeah, it could be tough

to carry on your...

...next job around here,

i'll tell you that much.

Yeah.

So you're gonna kill Know It All?

I think I will.

Yeah.

So Albert cleared his debt, that's good.

Not quite, he subcontract it.

What is wrong with people today?

Does no one have any integrity anymore?

He came clean, he

knows he still owes you.

Alright, just one more.

So who's next?

Business has been good.

Yeah boss, people are cooperating.

Don't wake them up.

They always does.

I was thinking, boss.

Maybe you don't have to hire

him for your hits anymore.

I mean, I got a pretty good handle...

- Stella!

Where the hell did you put my snorkle?

How should I know? It's your snorkle.

Hey, don't be wise.

Keep an eye on her, alright. She's

been acting really funny lately.

Hey, so this is a prelimenary

script. Feel free to adlib.

Any questions?

Who's directing this?

Does it matter?

One second.

Oh...

- Whenever you're ready.

I love my job.

Honestly i've been quite

overwhelmed by the...

Response.

All I want to do is to

help my fellow map kind...

Man... Man kind.

You're right.

Mankind.

This isn't about me,

no. This is about you.

The people.

Yes,...

No?

- No...

Okay, so what was wrong

with the one before him?

He didn't have an air of confidence.

And the one before him? - He has got

to see a doctor about that mole.

And the one before him?

Funny teeth, I think we are seriously...

Just pick one! - None of them are right, Patti.

None of them had those eyes...

They all had eyes.

None of them looked like the drawing.

None of them had... It.

Sally.

- Patti...

We made him up.

There is no Mr Know It All.

- I know.

I just have an idea of who he is

and I don't want to mess it up.

Oh my God... I cannot believe

you talked me into this.

What?

This was your stupid idea.

- No!

Now is not the time to be blamey!

You know what? I just wish someone would

walk through that door and solve our problem...

Great, you've done it.

We're doomed. You cursed us.

- What?

Oh my God, you're not serious.

Because I wished...

You do realize the Monkey Paw

is just a story? - No.

Yeah. - It doesn't matter

anyway, you already said it.

Cause I said it, he's gonna walk

through that door and then we're cursed?

In a nutshell, yeah.

Hello.

I'm looking for Mr Know It All.

Well, you're a little late.

But we can squeeze you in here.

This is the script.

What?

- You're here to audition, right?

No, i'm here to speak to Mr Know It All.

Oh, well. He is...

He is not here right now.

How long he'll be back?

- Later.

My client is a fan and would

like a personal consultation.

No, i'm sorry Mr Know It

All doesn't work that way.

My client's problem

requires a swift resolution.

Of course he'll be willing to pay

any extra expenses that will entail.

Nope.

I just don't think Mr Know

It All would be interested.

My client would like me to speak on this

matter with Mr Know It All personally.

I'll be in touch.

- Okay.

Wait, wait, wait...

I know where he is.

I have a meeting with him later

and I can set something up.

Excellent.

The Gladstone, at 9.

What are you doing?

- That was him.

Who?

- Mr Know It All.

There is no Mr Know It All.

That was the guy from the movie theater.

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Sandra Feldman

Sandra Feldman (October 13, 1939 – September 18, 2005) was an American civil rights activist, educator and labor leader who served as president of the American Federation of Teachers (AFT) from 1997 to 2004. more…

All Sandra Feldman scripts | Sandra Feldman Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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