Please Kill Mr. Know It All Page #2
Just reminding you.
All done?
Yeah, boss.
I was gonna make sure that little
weasel has sung his last song.
Weasels don't sing.
What?
A canary sings, not a weasel.
You're mixing your metaphores.
What time is it?
Where is Stella? We're gonna be
late for Rocko's kids conformation.
She's always late.
Stella, come one!
Where are you taking me?
What are you wearing?
Uh... A dress?
That looks stupid.
The girl at the store said
So the style these
days is to look stupid?
Come on, you can't go like
that. You gotta change.
We're in a hurry, we're
late and i'm hungry. Please.
Sorry.
It's okay, will you
please just hurry up.
Will you guys do something?
Like fix something...
...paint something, kill
somebody. Just do something.
What's a metaphore?
Excuse me.
I've never done this before, but...
I just wanted to say
that i'm a real fan.
And I love your work.
I can't believe that I have
bumped into you like this.
It was a pleasure to meet you.
Totally Called Cars,
Our pain is your gain.
I'm calling my marker.
What? No hey Bud, what's
new, How have you been?
Hi, Bud what's new? How have you been?
Same old, same old.
What can I do you for?
I need your expertize,
someone got a good look at me.
Bummer, man.
- Yeah.
Weirdest thing, she
thought I was somebody else.
Good to know you're following
the rules there, pal.
Rule number 7, bail if you
can placed at the job site.
Are you free?
It needs to be done soon.
Well, pretty busy on
the lot there today.
And i'm in the middle of
redecorating my office.
But, i'm sure I could juggle a
few things for you, Albie old boy.
I could fly in this evening. Do
you want me to bring you anything?
...Mysterious Mr Know It All...
Let's see what these ladies have to say.
- Just yourself.
Well, he may Know It All, but so cute...
Hey Mr Know It All, i
could teach you something.
Get in line, girl.
There you have it, I think
we're all stand in line...
To get to know just a little
bit more about Mr Know It All.
Back to you, Bob.
Thank you, Gale.
And in an unrelated story...
Do I have an identical twin brother?
Yes, you do.
I kept him in the attic
for the last 30 years.
He has a mental problem.
I didn't think it was safe
to let him out on his own.
Really?
- No, what's the matter with you?
You never phoned, I can't remember
the last time you were here...
I was there for your birthday, mom.
That doesn't count.
What do you mean it doesn't
count? Of course it counts.
Don't you get fresh with me!
You may think you're a tough guy...
But I could beat the sh*t
out of you in my sleep.
Sorry mom, i've been
really busy. I just got...
One more thing to do and then
i'll have a lot more time.
Get off your ass and do it.
Yes, mom.
And don't get killed.
- Mom...
We have an exclusive, a treat
for you with Mr Know It All.
He is quite a looker, brains
and smarts, he's so beautiful.
Sh*t!
You're that guy!
No.
- Yeah, you're Mr Know It All.
- No.
Yeah you are.
Hey, this is Mr Know It All.
What?
You know Mr Know It
All, that advice guy.
Hey, can I have your autograph?
It's for my girlfriend.
You don't have a girlfriend.
Yeah I do.
- Yeah, nice try, You missed him.
I don't... I do...
Hey that's Mr Know It All.
Hey, hey...
- Mr Know It All!
Excuse me.
- Oh my gosh...
Mr Know It All!
It's ridiculous.
Wankers.
Success?
Of course, i'm a professional.
This will kill you, Bud.
Yeah, thanks for the tip.
Hey, you look good on TV.
A little heavier, but good.
This guy is ruining my life.
I got people coming
up to me on the street.
They're asking for my autograph.
They're telling me their problems.
Yeah, it could be tough
to carry on your...
...next job around here,
i'll tell you that much.
Yeah.
So you're gonna kill Know It All?
I think I will.
Yeah.
So Albert cleared his debt, that's good.
Not quite, he subcontract it.
What is wrong with people today?
Does no one have any integrity anymore?
He came clean, he
knows he still owes you.
Alright, just one more.
So who's next?
Business has been good.
Yeah boss, people are cooperating.
Don't wake them up.
They always does.
I was thinking, boss.
Maybe you don't have to hire
him for your hits anymore.
I mean, I got a pretty good handle...
- Stella!
Where the hell did you put my snorkle?
How should I know? It's your snorkle.
Hey, don't be wise.
Keep an eye on her, alright. She's
been acting really funny lately.
Hey, so this is a prelimenary
script. Feel free to adlib.
Any questions?
Who's directing this?
Does it matter?
One second.
Oh...
- Whenever you're ready.
I love my job.
Honestly i've been quite
overwhelmed by the...
Response.
All I want to do is to
help my fellow map kind...
Man... Man kind.
You're right.
Mankind.
This isn't about me,
no. This is about you.
The people.
Yes,...
No?
- No...
Okay, so what was wrong
with the one before him?
He didn't have an air of confidence.
And the one before him? - He has got
to see a doctor about that mole.
And the one before him?
Funny teeth, I think we are seriously...
Just pick one! - None of them are right, Patti.
None of them had those eyes...
They all had eyes.
None of them looked like the drawing.
None of them had... It.
Sally.
- Patti...
We made him up.
There is no Mr Know It All.
- I know.
I just have an idea of who he is
and I don't want to mess it up.
Oh my God... I cannot believe
you talked me into this.
What?
This was your stupid idea.
- No!
Now is not the time to be blamey!
You know what? I just wish someone would
walk through that door and solve our problem...
Great, you've done it.
We're doomed. You cursed us.
- What?
Oh my God, you're not serious.
Because I wished...
is just a story? - No.
Yeah. - It doesn't matter
anyway, you already said it.
Cause I said it, he's gonna walk
through that door and then we're cursed?
In a nutshell, yeah.
Hello.
I'm looking for Mr Know It All.
Well, you're a little late.
But we can squeeze you in here.
This is the script.
What?
- You're here to audition, right?
No, i'm here to speak to Mr Know It All.
Oh, well. He is...
He is not here right now.
How long he'll be back?
- Later.
My client is a fan and would
like a personal consultation.
No, i'm sorry Mr Know It
All doesn't work that way.
My client's problem
requires a swift resolution.
Of course he'll be willing to pay
any extra expenses that will entail.
Nope.
I just don't think Mr Know
It All would be interested.
My client would like me to speak on this
matter with Mr Know It All personally.
I'll be in touch.
- Okay.
Wait, wait, wait...
I know where he is.
I have a meeting with him later
and I can set something up.
Excellent.
The Gladstone, at 9.
What are you doing?
- That was him.
Who?
- Mr Know It All.
There is no Mr Know It All.
That was the guy from the movie theater.
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"Please Kill Mr. Know It All" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/please_kill_mr._know_it_all_15992>.
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