Please Kill Mr. Know It All Page #3

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But he looks nothing like the drawing.

He shaved off his beard...

And he's a lot more cleaned up, but it

was him. I studied his face for 2 hours.

I swear Patti, that is him.

This is perfect, they guy we're

looking for just walks right in.

I can't meet with him.

- What?

If I use him, then we'll be doom.

Oh, right.

The Monkey Paw.

So, they guy we're looking for...

Just walks right in, but we can't

use him because I wished for him?

Yeah, okay. Right, got it.

Just... One more question.

Are you out of your mind?

How did it go?

Okay.

You killed him, didn't you?

More or less.

That's not a real answer, Albie old boy.

Stop calling me that.

He wasn't there.

- Was somebody there?

Rule number 3, if a witness sees

you, you have to see to the witness.

relax, i'm a professional.

Somebody's tailing me. Do me a favor.

Another favor, Albie old boy?

This is gonna cost you more than dinner.

Just find out what's it about, Bud.

Yeah.

Wlth pants.

Can you hear me, Patti?

This mike is a cheap piece of crap.

Hi, i'm Sally by the way.

Well not Sally by the way, just Sally.

Hello, Just Sally.

He, that is Mr Know It All,

is running a bit late tonight.

I don't know where he is exactly.

But he said we could begin

the discussion without him.

So, what is exactly does

your client have in mind?

I prefer to speak to Mr

Know It All personally.

Right.

Well, I can assure you that all of his business

dealings are discussed with me personally.

With respect, I must work within

the perimeters of my client's wishes.

Do you always talk like that?

Like what?

- So formal and...

Uptight.

Why?

I don't know, I just

pictured you differently.

Why would you ever pictured me?

Do you want some wine or beer?

Just water, I don't drink on the job.

Oh no, neither do i. Excuse me.

Let me try.

Don't you hate that?

- Hate what?

When people don't notice you.

When I leave a room, people think

someone comes in with negative charisma.

I think it's a gift.

To be able to enter and leave

a room without being noticed.

I prefer it that way.

Yeah... Sorry.

And it is Mr Know It All. Excuse me.

Did you record all of that?

Just ask him already if

he'll be our Mr Know It All.

He doesn't seem the type,

maybe we should go to plan B.

What plan B?

I thought you said you had a plan B.

Yeah?

Where do you keep the peanut butter?

I'm kinda busy, Bud.

I'm hungry.

Were you able to identify the shadow?

You're not gonna like it.

Just give me the details later.

The mike is a cheap piece of

crap, it keeps cutting out.

I'm gonna return it and get my $12 back.

I thought you said it was $200, Patti.

You heard wrong.

So you killed Know It All yet?

Not yet.

What's taking you so long?

I'm in a meeting. Relax.

Once I find Mr Know

It All, i'll kill him.

Hurry up already, you're supposed to

be taking me out to dinner and drinks.

Just ask him.

He can't make it tonight. I'm really

sorry you had to come all the way out here.

Perhaps we could arrange to go to him.

- No.

He is out of town.

I thought you said you

didn't know where he was.

I did, because I know

that he is out of town...

But I do not know where

he is in a GPS sort of way.

I see.

Your client must have quite the problem.

He does.

What? Does it involve...

Sorry, I should have

not asked. You said...

This is a may seem

like a crazy question...

What type of work do you do?

Why do you ask?

Well, i'm looking for someone

to do some work for another...

And I just thought that maybe you...

I'm not looking for anymore work.

Of course.

I'm gonna go. I'm really sorry.

This was a waste of your time.

- No.

It wasn't. You didn't.

It wasn't.

A complete...

Complete waste of time.

You're just saying that.

It's very nice of you to say.

There are not enough nice people

in the world, don't you think?

Would you like to

meet with him tomorrow?

Yes, yes... Yes.

Yes.

That's my parking spot.

What happens next?

- I stared at him.

Stare at him?

- Yeah, but he wants to go.

You should've punch him in his mouth.

- I should have.

Hey.

- Hey.

I got you a wine.

Great. What kind?

Red.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Cheers.

- Great.

Bad news pal, you know

the guy you didn't kill?

He is dead and I put

him in the dumpster.

Whatever.

He knows you're in town, recognizes

you from the television coverage.

Seems he blames you

for the amputated leg.

I'm just passing on a message.

Why shoot the messenger?

If the message was die motherf***er...

Next time I see him, i'm gonna grab him

by his neck and make him beg for his life.

Why wait until next time?

Let's just kill him.

You want to kill him?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna take my.45 magnum...

.44...

- .44...

And i'm gonna blow his brains out.

This guy try anything, he'll

leave a trail a mile long.

Yeah, of urine. Cause they're

pissing themselves running away.

Hey a**holes, are we amusing you?

Sorry pal.

- Didn't mean to disturb you.

You're disturbing us.

I guess we just got carried away.

Yeah.

God blesses everyone.

It's a nice tattoo.

And then, what do I do?

This is such a stupid plan.

Just get the video and send it in.

And then what?

- And then we'll come clean.

By then everyone will be deep in lies...

Your lies.

They'll lie to and they'll

have to go along with it.

I don't know if I can do this.

Sure you can. Just do your charm.

Yeah, right.

He's coming. act natural.

Naturally?

- Yes, perfect good.

No, it's an adverb. It's not "natural".

SUre it is, honey. Just be yourself.

No, I don't act

natural. I act naturally.

It's really not the

time for jitters, okay?

He's here. He's here!

Hi.

Hi, again.

Where's Mr Know It All?

Oh...

Late.

He is always late.

Do you want to... I don't know...

Go for a walk or look at the animals or something

until he comes? The meekaks perhaps?

You know the meekaks are the most wide

spread primate genus aside from human.

Sure.

Great.

Follow me.

Have you seen a meekak before?

It was once thought that

swans were monogamous.

Given apes made for lives, so

do coyotes, beavers, termites...

It can only 3% of mammals

are actually monogomous.

And Homo Sapiens are not one of them.

You think of dating a termite?

Why, do you know one that's available?

Excuse me, but should I know you?

No, I don't think so.

Sorry, it's just your

face looks so familiar.

Yeah, I think you got

confuse with somebody else.

Are you in movies?

- No.

No. Sorry.

We should go.

It's weird. I swear it was him.

Do you see him?

You know, college students

used to fling the pie plates...

...made for the frisbee making

company, way back in the 1800s.

That's how frisbee started.

I wasn't aware of that.

Sorry.

I babble when i'm nervous.

Didn't realize you were.

Babbling or nervous?

Nice catch, Mister.

It's all on the relfexes.

All on the reflexes, thanks.

Yeah.

I am having a real good time with you.

So I gotta come clean here.

It's really stupid actually.

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