Please Kill Mr. Know It All Page #6

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Yup.

I can't see nothing.

Get the lights off.

Use your infrared scope.

Try to take some iniciative.

Don't have me telling you

what to do all the time.

Okay.

So, you don't think the boss gonna

get pissed if we kill Know It All?

Boss is gonna see we can

kill with the best of them.

How are we gonna stop Albert?

What do we know what he looks like?

We don't need to.

We just need to kill Mr Know It All...

Before Albert gets to him.

Thank you.

Stay down, somebody's trying to kill me.

Kill you?

You have guns.

- Yup.

Have you always had those

guns? How did I not notice that?

You're a bit distracted.

By the way, there's a

contract on your life.

How do you know there's

contract on my life?

I got the contract.

Oh, good.

Kiss me.

Here, here you go.

What? He'll be safe there.

I don't think I know anyone who cares

about me enough to want to kill me.

I mean, other than you of course.

Why does everyone take it so personally?

It's not you personally.

Good, because i'd hate to

know someone personally

who wanted me dead,

except for you of course.

Just drop it, already.

Drop that you wanted to kill me?

Yes!

It's a big deal.

Jesus, it's only a big deal only

if you keep making it a big deal...

Not a lot of people would

think it's a big deal...

My friend Patti thinks it's a big deal.

Here, take it. Shoot

me. We'll call it even.

I am not going to shoot you.

You don't have to kill me, just take a

shot. Because i'd rather you shoot me now...

Than hear "you tried to kill

me" for the rest of my life.

For the...

Rest of your life?

Yeah, well...

Really?

Yeah.

Sh*t!

What the hell?

You told me to shoot you.

Since when do you listen to me?

I was aiming for the floor.

Well, you missed.

I am so sorry.

You know that situation

we were in earlier?

You know, it was a bit of...

Yeah, well...

You are putting a bullet in my foot.

And now we're kinda...

Screwed?

In a nutshell.

Oh my God.

But you've been in

tougher situations before.

I have been in marginally

tougher situations.

Now that you've blown off a toe...

The odds have kind of change.

Because of one toe?

Trust me, a toe or two

can change the equation.

Did you add me into the equation?

You?

I can help.

I don't think so.

And why not?

Have you ever shot anyone before?

Do you know anything about guns?

I am Mr Know It All.

This is a 6 hour pro 226.

The DEA uses it, as well

as the Swiss military.

Trying to release the hang manually

could result accident of discharge.

I guarantee you,i have never had any of

accidental discharge with any of my weapons.

You're not dealing with the

brightest balls in the bunch.

Who told you to do that?

Why?

Don't do anything unless

i give you an order first.

You said do more!

You said think iniciative!

I was wrong!

No sh*t!

Hey, Albert.

Hey Joey.

How's your mom? Still busting balls?

Yeah.

How's yours?

- She's good.

She's got a new hip replacement.

Just like she got a new lease on life.

Precise.

Don't even think about it, Albert.

I guess there is no way of

me talking you out of this.

Sorry, Albert.

Yeah, I thought i'd ask.

It's nothing personal.

I know, I know.

Back or chest?

Chest.

I was aiming for his leg.

You blew his face off.

I got nervous.

What are you doing?

Cleaning.

I gotta go, I can't be here.

I'll come with you.

No.

You are not walking out on me again.

I didn't walk out on

you. You kicked me out.

Do not change the subject!

You're staying.

- I thought you wanted to be with me!

I mean...

Don't you?

There's nothing I want more.

But it's over, Sally.

Over?

There's gonna be another

contract on my life.

With a broken contract...

I'm a dead man, it's

just a matter of time.

We will hide, we will run away.

They'll find us.

We didn't even have a chance, Albert.

We can do this, I can help

you. I know tons of stuff...

We will figure it out... - Sally,

you gotta listen to me. - Don't...

Go.

This is all my fault, I never

should have printed your picture.

If you hadn't, we would never have met.

Yeah, but now...

You are...

- Look, I have...

Lived more in the little time that we've

had together than I ever thought I could...

Ever thought I want to.

And I love you for that, Sally.

You can't say that and then

leave me, that's not fair.

Life is not fair.

No, we can stop this.

We can pay someone off.

Sally, someone is gonna

kill me. That's a certainty...

No, that is bullshit, Albert.

It is not over til it's over.

It's only over when they

have their dead body.

Albert.

- Please.

Stop wasting what

little time we have left.

Wait.

What did you say?

Stop wasting what

little time we have left.

No, no. Before that.

Someone's gonna kill me?

- No, after that.

The part about the dead body.

It's only over when

they have a dead body.

That's it.

We have one.

I guess I should be more specific. We need

two bodies, one for me, one for Know It All.

No, we need one body,

everyone thinks you're him.

We can tell them, you

were Mr Know It All.

Mr Know It All is dead.

Your contract is fulfilled, and as

far as the guy who wanted to kill you...

You're dead.

No one would give you another

thought. Please, Albert.

We may just have something here.

Okay, grab me something from the

kitchen, anything that put us...

Fingerprints on, on

a mug, can, whatever.

You have a cloth?

- Yeah.

Great, thanks.

I'm gonna have to disappear for a while.

I'll find you.

Wait!

What if I never see you again?

Give them a great story.

And...

Wish for happy ending.

In tragic news today, a columnist

sensation Mr Know It All was found dead.

2 down in the hallway. -1 more in here!

There's a dog in the oven.

Maam, are you okay?

It's a Monkey Paw.

Aren't you going to make a wish, sweety?

What did you wish for?

I can't tell you, then

it won't come true.

You've had such a good year, I don't know

what else you could possibly wish for.

Your book, it's actually doing amazing.

Show her the new cover

for the second printing.

Check it out.

You guys have been amazing, thank yo.

The secret to a good workign

relationship is to know who's boss.

And it's you, baby.

It's always been you.

Yeah.

Sal, you're a year older but I swear

to God, you have never looked better.

What's the secret?

I just follow a piece of advice

given to me by a wise woman.

Who?

- Albert's mom.

She told you to keep

your pecker in your pants?

Stop.

No, but that was adviced

especially for you.

She said that it comes

down to 3 simple things.

If you wake up in the morning

and you have something to do...

Someone to love and...

Something to wish for...

Then life's gonna be okay.

She sounds so sweet.

This is the same sweet woman who wished for

a Desert Eagle Automatic for her birthday.

It's a gun.

Well, best present of all...

We got the deal on the

advance for your second book.

And it's a good deal.

- Happy birthday honey.

I think it calls for a celebration.

Yes sir?

A bottle of Dom Perignon '96.

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