Pocketful of Miracles Page #10

Dude, you're gettin' hooked again.

You know what? You almost had me

walking out on poor old Apple Annie.

Queenie, call your broads. Judge, call

Boyle's pool room. You know the number.

- I'll call...

- Dude... Dude!

Round everybody up.

They was knotted real tight.

Good thing I was a boy scout.

Mr Darcey ain't gonna like this.

You tell Mr Darcey he's got a deal, but on

my terms. He delivers me $100,000 cash.

And no more of you popgun monkeys

showing up or else I ain't gonna like it.

Would you kindly connect me

with Harry the Horse?

Honey, forget the house party.

I need you now.

Cheesecake, roust out the boys

and take 'em to a Turkish bath, will you?

What do you think, what for?

A bath, you jerk!

Hey, Joy Boy, get ahold of whatshisname.

Rosy, the suit man.

That's a good idea. I'll have him

measure you all for straitjackets.

I gave my love a cherry

without no stone

I gave my love a chicken

without no bone

I gave my love a ring that had no end

I gave my love a baby

With no crying

I threw Carlos a flower

And blushed a smile

My love threw me the autumn moon

And laughed a mile

I gave my love a heart of love

Wrapped up in pink and blue

I'll give my love a baby

Who'll look like you

- Keep singing. Please.

- No, Carlos. It's your turn.

- I'm busy.

- The wedding poem. You promised.

- Keep still.

- You'll have to at the wedding feast.

Your father told me that every Romero

for 1,000 years has had to do it.

- All because some silly ancestor wrote it.

- I love it. Please?

You interrupt people

at the oddest moments.

Please?

I hope nobody is listening.

For her, for whom

I would walk through fire,

the great cathedral's heavenly choir

sings God's angelic music.

Be still, my racing heart -

she is floating toward me

as a winged melody.

I burst with a Spanish pride.

A thousand eyes, all moist and dewy,

share the lovely vision.

Behold:
My bride.

- Mother!

- Mrs Manville.

- I was lonely for you.

- It is my fault. Please.

I have a lifetime with Louise, and you

only two days. I will see you later, Mother.

You do not mind

my calling you "Mother"?

I'd like that... Son.

Thank you...

Mother.

You do love him, don't you?

So much it must show, Mama.

Today, when we were

walking along Broadway,

a little old flower pedlar -

a deaf and dumb lady - gave me this.

She insisted I take it,

and she refused to accept a penny for it.

- Oh, Mama, life is wonderful, isn't it?

- Yes, baby. Yes.

- Mama?

- Yes?

You don't think anything can...

can happen, do you?

- Happen?

- I'm foolish, I suppose.

Maybe it's because I'm wishing so hard.

Mama, have you ever wished

for something so hard...

Nothing's going to happen.

Nothing.

Yeah?

- Captain Moore to see you, Inspector.

- Send him right in.

- Anything on the missing reporters?

- Nothing, Inspector. Not a thing.

The newspapers are crucifying us.

You hear Winchell last night?

- Yeah?

- The commissioner's on the phone.

There he is again. Fourth time today.

Hello, Commissioner.

No, but I've got Captain Moore

in my office right now.

- No, not a thing yet.

- What do you mean?

I'm not gonna be made the goat

for the whole department.

- What is it?

- The mayor's on the phone.

- Didn't you tell him I was out?

- He didn't believe it.

Hold on a minute.

Hello. Yeah, Chief. I was just talking

to Inspector McCrary. Not a thing yet.

I have had a supersufficiency of

"not a thing".

I want some action, and I want it quickly.

Every editor in town is in my office now.

And you'll get a front-page editorial in

my paper every day till something's done.

It is a very embarrassing situation

when a reporter is not safe on our streets.

If the city can't do anything,

perhaps the state can.

We'll take it up

with the governor tomorrow.

I want you to find

those three reporters, Commissioner,

or I will be forced

to demand your resignation.

McCrary, you dig up those three reporters

or I'll have to get myself another boy.

Captain, you have 24 hours

to find those reporters.

If you can't, you'll find yourself on the

other end of a broom at the horse barn!

- What is it?

- I think we got an angle on the reporters.

- Speak up, son.

- A funny thing happened.

Last Saturday I met one of the boats,

to check the passenger list.

- Two characters shoved me into a car.

- Why didn't you report it sooner?

They didn't hurt me, just drove me around

the Bronx, then gave me taxi money.

- Any idea who grabbed him?

- Not exactly.

Two of our men saw Dave the Dude at the

pier Saturday night meeting some people.

- And with his whole mob.

- Dave the Dude, hm?

It's not much, but we're beginning

to look like a police department.

Captain, you better put a tail on the Dude.

There could be a connection.

These are great, Judge.

Just a few more speeches.

As Jimmy Durante says,

"I've got a million of 'em."

"My dear Count, it is indeed a pleasure..."

I'm charmed to meet you, Count.

I'm charmed to meet you...

- All right, hold it, everybody!

- Quiet! Quiet!

Listen. Queenie, take your broads

to the other side of the room.

- You guys, I want to talk to you.

- Guys over here! Broads over there!

Come on, move it! We ain't got all night.

You guys,

you gotta remember something.

You're not a bunch of bums.

You're a bunch of gents.

Dude, you gotta make 'em stop with the

pistols. They making holes in the lining.

I thought I told you to tell 'em

to leave the rods home.

- Weasel, I told you - no rods!

- No rods. Come on, you guys.

If we don't act like gents, we'll bollix

the whole schmear up tomorrow night.

Now, you all got the speeches

the judge wrote for you.

You know who you are, huh?

I don't have to tell you?

- Who are you, Slops?

- Governor of the State of Utta.

- State of what? No, no. State of Utah.

- Utah, metah...

Look, will you read the speech

the way the judge gave it to you, please?

Don't yak too much. Smile all the time.

That'll get you by anybody, even kings.

Kings, yeah. But these mugs? You smile

at 'em, you get a hand on the knee.

You've had so many hands on your knees,

deary, you wear gloves for stockings.

OK, settle down.

Dude! If any of your he's

make passes at my she's...

- No passes, no passes, no passes!

- You hear that? No passes.

- No passes? Gee, what a party pooper.

- I don't wanna hear no more from you.

Dude, this ain't a good speech

the judge gave me.

- You handicapping speeches now?

- This count's from out of town.

- So what?

- I tell him he's lucky to meet Apple Annie.

You wanna tell him you'll fix him up with

a couple of dames? Just read the speech!

Cheesecake!

Tell 'em to be quiet. Quiet down, guys.

Will you please be quiet!

Why aren't you practising?

- I've been practising. Only...

- Only what?

I'm as good as Louie the Lug is, and

if he's ambassador, I oughta be a king.

Secretary of the interior

is bigger than an ambassador.

I ain't as dumb as you think.

A secretary's a secretary.

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