Pocketful of Miracles Page #9

Queenie Martin's club.

You know, you're wasting your time

with society news.

You could be a great big reporter,

and we could give you a great big story.

Yeah, but we better go someplace

where we won't be disturbed.

- Isn't that right, Uncle David?

- That's right.

- Do you want to step this way?

- Right this way.

No more sightseeing. No more buildings.

Mrs Manville, I have come

to know your daughter that well

that I love her like a father.

Thanks... Thank you.

And so I wish to announce

I will be greatly honoured

if your daughter will accept

the proposal of my son in marriage.

Congratulations, Carlos! This is

a great moment, a historic moment.

The union of our two families.

The Montagues and the Capulets.

My dear Count,

this calls for a real celebration.

That is exactly what I was coming to.

It will give me the greatest pleasure

to announce the engagement officially

at a reception for a few

of your intimate friends.

Reception?

- With people?

- S.

- Father...

- No, no.

Relax and enjoy yourself, newsboy.

You're living at the Marberry.

It was nice meetin' you.

Watch your diction, watch your diction.

Reporter's taken care of, Judge.

Uncle David, congratulate us.

Carlos and I are engaged.

You're a lucky man, Carlos.

Congratulations.

Brother David, I just told the count we'd

make the announcement at the reception.

Fine. Well, I'll see you folks around.

Reception? What reception?

The count wants to meet

some of our friends.

A modest affair. Nothing elaborate.

Just the intimate friends

of the parents of the bride.

About... 100 people, did you say, Judge?

100... friends?

You're the only one

who can handle it, David.

- We must tell Aunt Betty at once.

- Aunt Betty will be the first to know.

Brother Henry, would you come with me?

I think we have to make up a list.

Mrs Manville, I hope there is

enough time for the preparations.

Why, you two-bit pool hustler.

Sit down there. Sit down!

- I told you not to get used to high living.

- It was the count's idea!

- I oughta belt him.

- Now, now, godfather.

Do you know what this windbag's

got us into? A reception for 100 people.

- Where do you think you're going?

- I'm fleeing from Armageddon, sir.

With my cardiac condition

I just cannot take unhappy endings.

- So I'm off to join Mr Kent in Havana.

- With two broken legs?

My legs, sir? Oh, they're quite...

Oh. Oh!

Very cleverly put, sir.

Thank you, sir. Yes. Not at all.

You!

- You'll break the poor lady's heart.

- Why didn't you stop it before it started?

- Oh, there you are.

- So we gotta throw a party.

So we just herd up

a bunch of freeloaders.

Society freeloaders. The count

expects 100 of the Four Hundred.

Annie only knows people from sewers.

Which reminds me. You got a couple of

sewer rats trussed up in the closet.

Darcey's mugs. I forgot all about them.

The Weasel's in Annie's place,

so I'm here.

Somebody tell me how I got into this pot.

I didn't wanna be dealt in in the first place.

You, Queenie. You were the one

who suckered me into this.

As long as I was minding my own

business in my own racket, it was fine.

But then I had to start to help somebody,

had to be the big man.

And will you look at me now?

I got oost into this old dame's life,

I got a couple of hoods, a couple of

hatchet men, stashed in that closet,

- a reporter guzzled up in the penthouse...

- You got three reporters in the penthouse.

- Three?

- Two more showed up so we bagged 'em.

That's kidnapping. Do you know

what the newspapers'll do to us?

Does it still kinda get you

a little bit, right here?

- The butler says there's enough food.

- That's it. I've had it.

You, Junior, bring those

Darcey orang-utans to me right now.

I like that butler. Calls me "sir",

bows to me. Makes me feel like a broad.

You take care of those reporters

till I square the beef with 'em.

And you go tell your friend Annie

to take her business around the corner,

because I am through, I am finished!

Oh, boy. And just when you were

starting to act like a human.

Queenie, you got 30 seconds

before I pick you up and throw you out.

You know, some people

toss charity balls for homeless cats.

They even build zoos

so wild animals live good.

- You get arrested if you whip a horse.

- 10.

Good people help, Dude. What are we?

Did we ever build a bridge

or plant a seed?

- 20.

- We're nothin'.

We're all a bunch of grabbers,

looking for the best of it.

- Just once, couldn't we help somebody?

- That's it. You're through, sister.

Yes, we're gonna help somebody.

We are going to help me.

I'm gonna make any kind of a deal Darcey

wants. Unless we've blown it already.

Hallelujah! I'm gonna drink to you.

It's my first in five years.

Do I infer you're stranding Annie

on the rocky beach of despair?

I've had just about enough

of your hot air too, Judge. You - out!

And you - out. Both of you - out.

That's it. School's out. Everybody out.

I hope we're not interrupting anything.

Louise! Darling!

Uncle David just told me the good news.

- My heartiest congratulations, Carlos.

- Thank you.

- I hope we're not intruding.

- Not at all. You're a breath of spring.

We were just taking a walk and Carlos had

the most wonderful, sweetest idea.

- What is it, Carlos?

- No, no. This is not the time. Or the place.

Of course it is, Carlos.

He thinks the world of you, Uncle David.

- Louise.

- What is it, Carlos?

Well, sir, I... that is, Louise and I...

Yes.

...we would be most pleased if,

when the time comes,

you will consent to be godfather

to our first child.

He'd be delighted.

Uncle David's already

an experienced godfather.

Oh, Uncle David! I love you so much.

Thank you, seor. I am very honoured,

and my family is very honoured.

- And if it's a boy we'll name him after you.

- No.

Louise, we cannot take up

any more of their time.

No. I'm sure you have so much to do,

arranging the reception on short notice.

Goodbye.

- About 100 people, you said, Judge?

- Not just people.

But citizens of style and grace.

And this above all: Daisies who won't tell.

Dude's gang!

Now, there's a bunch of daisies

that wouldn't dare squeal.

With the right clothes

they'd pass off as kings.

- They would?

- Well, look at Annie.

The count fell for her. And you and me.

And Carlos thinks the Dude

is a young Abe Lincoln.

And the count even swallowed Joy Boy,

and I can do better than that in a pet shop.

If you weren't a broad

I'd kick you right in the stomach.

And my old chorus girls.

Why, they'd make the most glamorous

society queens this town's ever seen!

Indeed. Why not?

The world goes round in make-believe.

Louie the Lug - with a carnation in his

buttonhole, he'll look like Grover Whalen.

The Weasel'd make

a great secretary of war.

The Weasel as secretary of war? No,

he don't rate no more than an alderman.

Dude!

Why, the Weasel'd make as good a

secretary of war as anyone you can name.

No, I think he'd rate an alderman.

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