Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment Page #2

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-Hey, Tim.

-Mahoney, what's happening?

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-How you doing?

-All right!

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-Listen, Tim, l got a problem.

-What's that?

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-There's some guy ripping up my beach.

-No!

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-Who was it?

-You!

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-Listen, Tim. Do me a favor.

-You got it!

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-Get off the beach.

-You don't got it!

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-Come on, Tim, be a good boy.

-No way! Out, guys!

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So long, fuzz ball!

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Never fool with a fuzz ball.

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lt's a real pleasure to welcome you men,

and you, to the 1 6th Precinct.

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My brother tells me you're among

the finest ever to graduate the academy.

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The 1 6th serves and protects

what was once a great neighborhood.

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Unfortunately, a vicious gang

has taken over. . .

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. . .and they're trying to control the streets.

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We don't know who they are

or where they come from.

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We do know that they are scum.

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And it is our job to find them

and bust them.

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You've all received training in the latest

techniques in urban law enforcement.

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Any of you have any special skills

that l should know about?

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l just learned to perform an emergency

tracheotomy with a steak knife, sir.

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So these academy rats

are gonna save the precinct, right?

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Hey, personally, lieutenant,

l hope they fall flat on their asses.

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-That could be arranged, you know.

-What do you mean?

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lf they fail, Lassard's out.

That makes me the captain.

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lf l'm captain, l'll need

a new watch commander.

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So?

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-So we make sure they fail.

-Who?

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-The new recruits.

-Why?

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lf they fail, Lassard is out. l'm in.

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l'm gonna need somebody

to be the new watch commander.

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And you know who that's gonna be.

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-Who?

-You, d*ckhead. You.

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Oh, good idea.

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-Not playing with a full deck, are you?

-Oh, l don't play cards.

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l want this to be the best damn

Crime Suppression Unit in the city.

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l want us to stand proud and walk tall.

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More than anything. . .

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. . .l want this to be, well. . .

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. . .one big family. . .

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. . .with a bunch of brothers

and little sister. . .

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. . .and one big mother.

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Wake up!

l am your watch commander.

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When you foul up,

and you will foul up. . .

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. . .l'm gonna be there

to write up a report.

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Three bad reports,

and you're suspended.

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-What is your name?

-Hooks, sir.

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-Say that again.

-Hooks.

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Hooks. Well, Officer Hooks,

can l please see your service revolver?

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Don't point that gun at me.

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-There's no round in the chamber.

-l was afraid it might go off.

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Oh, heavens to be! lt might go off!

That's one for Hooks.

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You're on report.

See how it works? lt's real simple.

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This squad deploys

each day at 1 000 hours.

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Precisely 1 000 hours.

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Since you boys and girls

are only rookies. . .

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. . .you will be assigned

a veteran officer. . .

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. . .who will write up a report.

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Okay, read the assignments.

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-Fackler!

-Yes, sir.

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Officer Fackler. The gentleman

on your right is Officer Dooley.

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A fine man.

He's gonna teach you a lot.

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-Tackleberry?

-Yes, sir, sir!

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Officer Tackleberry.

You're trained for motorcycle duty?

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Yes, sir!

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You've got it.

Meet Officer Kirkland at the motor pool.

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-Thank you, sir!

-Well, get going. Yeah! Go, go, go, go.

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-Hightower.

-Yo!

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-Yo?

-Yo, sir.

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Yo, sir! Must be from the South.

lt's, ''Yes, sir. ''

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You got foot patrol.

Okay, that's it.

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-Thank you for your patience.

-What about me? Don't l get a car?

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''What about me, sir?

Don't l get a car?''

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You don't get a car.

You get yourself a nice little desk. . .

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. . .with a nice little chair, in a nice

little office, for your nice little voice.

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-A**hole.

-That's two.

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Chest, 48.

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Waist, 44.

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-Outseam, 39.

-Hey, can l have that giraffe?

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No.

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l got an idea.

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-How's about for a Snickers bar?

-You got it.

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Thanks.

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Overall, 48.

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Next.

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Please take off your gun belt.

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Chest, 37.

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Waist, 32. Okay, turn around.

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Please be gentle.

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Jones, got you figured for an a**hole.

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l don't take sh*t from you people.

l'm not gonna start.

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