Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment Page #2

Synopsis: Mahoney and friends have graduated from the Police Academy (1984) and are issued with their first assignments. As before, their cheerfulness and devotion to duty outweigh any shortcomings, but are they ready to do battle with a band graffiti daubing terrorists?
Genre: Comedy
Production: Warner Home Video
  1 win.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
39
Rotten Tomatoes:
29%
PG-13
Year:
1985
87 min
1,137 Views


-Hey, Tim.

-Mahoney, what's happening?

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-How you doing?

-All right!

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-Listen, Tim, l got a problem.

-What's that?

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-There's some guy ripping up my beach.

-No!

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-Who was it?

-You!

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-Listen, Tim. Do me a favor.

-You got it!

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-Get off the beach.

-You don't got it!

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-Come on, Tim, be a good boy.

-No way! Out, guys!

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So long, fuzz ball!

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Never fool with a fuzz ball.

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lt's a real pleasure to welcome you men,

and you, to the 1 6th Precinct.

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My brother tells me you're among

the finest ever to graduate the academy.

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The 1 6th serves and protects

what was once a great neighborhood.

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Unfortunately, a vicious gang

has taken over. . .

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. . .and they're trying to control the streets.

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We don't know who they are

or where they come from.

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We do know that they are scum.

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And it is our job to find them

and bust them.

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You've all received training in the latest

techniques in urban law enforcement.

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Any of you have any special skills

that l should know about?

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l just learned to perform an emergency

tracheotomy with a steak knife, sir.

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So these academy rats

are gonna save the precinct, right?

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Hey, personally, lieutenant,

l hope they fall flat on their asses.

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-That could be arranged, you know.

-What do you mean?

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lf they fail, Lassard's out.

That makes me the captain.

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lf l'm captain, l'll need

a new watch commander.

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So?

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-So we make sure they fail.

-Who?

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-The new recruits.

-Why?

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lf they fail, Lassard is out. l'm in.

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l'm gonna need somebody

to be the new watch commander.

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And you know who that's gonna be.

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-Who?

-You, d*ckhead. You.

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Oh, good idea.

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-Not playing with a full deck, are you?

-Oh, l don't play cards.

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l want this to be the best damn

Crime Suppression Unit in the city.

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l want us to stand proud and walk tall.

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More than anything. . .

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. . .l want this to be, well. . .

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. . .one big family. . .

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. . .with a bunch of brothers

and little sister. . .

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. . .and one big mother.

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Wake up!

l am your watch commander.

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When you foul up,

and you will foul up. . .

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. . .l'm gonna be there

to write up a report.

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Three bad reports,

and you're suspended.

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-What is your name?

-Hooks, sir.

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-Say that again.

-Hooks.

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Hooks. Well, Officer Hooks,

can l please see your service revolver?

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Don't point that gun at me.

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-There's no round in the chamber.

-l was afraid it might go off.

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Oh, heavens to be! lt might go off!

That's one for Hooks.

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You're on report.

See how it works? lt's real simple.

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This squad deploys

each day at 1 000 hours.

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Precisely 1 000 hours.

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Since you boys and girls

are only rookies. . .

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. . .you will be assigned

a veteran officer. . .

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. . .who will write up a report.

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Okay, read the assignments.

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-Fackler!

-Yes, sir.

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Officer Fackler. The gentleman

on your right is Officer Dooley.

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A fine man.

He's gonna teach you a lot.

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-Tackleberry?

-Yes, sir, sir!

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Officer Tackleberry.

You're trained for motorcycle duty?

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Yes, sir!

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You've got it.

Meet Officer Kirkland at the motor pool.

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-Thank you, sir!

-Well, get going. Yeah! Go, go, go, go.

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-Hightower.

-Yo!

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-Yo?

-Yo, sir.

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Yo, sir! Must be from the South.

lt's, ''Yes, sir. ''

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You got foot patrol.

Okay, that's it.

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-Thank you for your patience.

-What about me? Don't l get a car?

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''What about me, sir?

Don't l get a car?''

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You don't get a car.

You get yourself a nice little desk. . .

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. . .with a nice little chair, in a nice

little office, for your nice little voice.

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-A**hole.

-That's two.

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Chest, 48.

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Waist, 44.

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-Outseam, 39.

-Hey, can l have that giraffe?

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No.

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l got an idea.

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-How's about for a Snickers bar?

-You got it.

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Thanks.

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Overall, 48.

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Next.

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Please take off your gun belt.

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Chest, 37.

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Waist, 32. Okay, turn around.

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Please be gentle.

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Jones, got you figured for an a**hole.

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l don't take sh*t from you people.

l'm not gonna start.

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Neal Israel

Neal Israel is an American actor, screenwriter, film and television producer and director best known for his comedic work in the 1980s for films such as Police Academy, Real Genius, and Bachelor Party. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/police_academy_2:_their_first_assignment_16047>.

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