Police Academy 3: Back in Training Page #3

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Ah-ah-ah. You're chapping your lips

on the wrong butt, Mr. Mauser.

I have no say

with the evaluation committee.

Besides, I want both academies

to look good.

Oh, so do I, sir. So do I.

And when may the committee

be coming by, sir?

The committee is spending the rest

of the week at Lassard's academy.

Next week, the Governor has them

snooping around the downtown precincts.

So that gives you...

a couple of weeks

to perfect your ass-kissing.

That's plenty of time, sir.

Hi.

Two and three.

Ah, Callahan, there you are.

We have to talk to you

about this evaluation thing.

I'll see you at my...

And four! And one, and two, and three!

Close there. Whoo!

Not only must you know all traffic laws...

you must also master

high-speed driving.

Now, we'll begin today

with a leisurely spin around the course.

Hey. Watch where you're going, lady!

Okay, you can start the car now.

But if I hear any of those things,

you've failed.

Oops. Wrong key. I'll be right back.

That's no problem.

Very often in the field...

the dog can be your best friend.

Your most faithful partner.

Oh, I love dogs, and they love me.

Hi, boy, hi.

First... Out.

Thanks.

It is important to develop

the master-dog relationship.

If you show any fear...

the dog will not respect you.

- Sweetchuck.

- Me?

- Order the dogs to sit.

- They won't listen to me.

They will. Come on, try.

Go on, have a seat.

You've got to show them who's boss.

Sit!

Ha!

At this time...

I would like to

introduce to all of you...

my instructor,

the man who taught me how to fight.

Please welcome, if you will...

Sgt. John Hurney.

Now, can I have a volunteer?

Can I have a volunteer?

Very good, Nogata.

I don't believe it.

Oh, boy!

He's great!

You, uh, have impressive moves for a cadet.

Thank you.

You see, it's a matter of the mind

being mightier than the bosom.

Interesting theory.

I said bosom, not sword.

Sounds like a common mistake.

No. I mean no disrespect.

It's just that she's so...

Wow.

Wow. What a woman!

Hit the showers!

See what I mean?

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Ugh!

Miss Macho.

All right, men, it's 2200.

Time to hit the sack.

Let's go.

You're dead meat, copper!

Let's move it!

- What time is it?

- 3 in the morning.

All right, everybody!

Everybody up! Let's go!

Outside!

Let's go!

Come on, you sludge buckets.

If I can keep up this pace, so can you.

Let's go, maggots.

A good cop is always prepared.

A good cop knows the city streets.

- Are you gonna be all right, Hedges?

- He'll be okay.

- Can I help you with anything?

- No, we're here now.

- Bye, Hedges.

- I'll have to be fed intravenously.

Just lie down.

What is this?

It's my bed. I pick up in New Delhi.

Posture-o-pedic. Very good for back.

Hello? Hello?

Who is that?

What...? Who is it? Don't...

Do you want to, like,

borrow my shampoo?

Freeze! Identify yourself.

It's me, Mr. Sweetchuck.

You look like a man

who's going AWOL to me, mister.

Yeah, I am. I'm tired of having a roommate

that's an animal!

I was happier when I was at home

getting mugged!

You look me in the eye

and tell me you're quitting!

Hey.

Don't worry. I'll take care of you.

You give me a chance...

and I'll make you into a man.

Even if it kills you.

Feel good? Let's go.

Sergeant.

A good kick may be all that stands...

between you and the excruciating pain...

of a .357 magnum slug

shredding your vital organs.

Fackler! You're up.

(Ya)'-.

Kirkland!

Zed!

- Sweetchuck!

- Sweetchuck, what's the word?

- Kill.

- Let me hear it again.

- Kill.

- Now go for it!

Whose bright idea was it to meet here?

It was my bright idea.

This is some beautiful view, isn't it, sir?

The twinkling lights of the city,

stars in the heavens...

the moon in the sky.

And Mr. Sandman flying

from rooftop to rooftop.

Where?

What the hell is that?

Give me this damn thing.

Well, how'd it go?

The committee knew right away

we were hopeless.

Good.

Now, I want you guys

to take the cadets downtown...

for some fieldwork.

We can't do that. Cadets don't go

into the field till after their tenth week.

- They're not ready for anything like that.

- I know that, you moron.

That's the whole idea. Next week, the

evaluation committee is gonna be there.

- Oh, I get it, sir.

- I doubt it.

Heh. Sorry, sir.

I'm gonna be there

when Lassard's guys screw up.

You guys make sure they screw up. Get it?

- Yes, sir.

- Get it?

- Yeah.

- Good.

Punch him! Punch him!

One, two, three, four.

That's great. He's looking tired. Good.

Your legs are rubbery.

- Knock him out. Let me hear you say it.

- Knock him out.

Come on, come on!

What are you doing?

That's not the way I taught you to hit.

You gotta hit like this. Like this!

NOW, hit him!

The eyewitness is still

the main source of convictions.

Mr. Miller, I want you to take your time.

Study these men very carefully.

Then tell us if you see the man

who robbed your store.

Let me reassure you, Mr. Miller...

the suspects cannot see you

when it's dark in here.

Well, Mr. Miller? ls he there?

You sure they can't see me?

My wife said they'd see me,

and not to do this.

Mr. Miller, bright lights in there...

dark in here. He can't see us.

Do you see him?

Bringing cadets into the

field this early...

has all the makings

of one of your lousy ideas.

What's the matter, Mahoney?

No faith in the cadets?

How hard can it be, Miller?

ls he there or isn't he?

I don't know.

He really didn't steal that much.

Well, the hospital stay was quite restful.

I wish I'd listened to my wife.

For God's sake, Miller, will you

take your balls out of your wife's purse...

and finger the dirtbag?

It's him!

- Come on, you son of a b*tch! I'll kill you!

- No, it's him.

He's the one, the priest.

Sir, honestly, we had no idea

the evaluation committee would be here.

We thought

it would help advance the training.

- What do you mean, we?

- It was a lousy idea.

Now I've got a bunch trainees hanging

around with this damn committee!

I've been, like, noticing you,

and you're a nice enough lady...

but you're too tense.

You got to relax. You got to calm down.

You take the big guy,

I'll take the little guy.

We got a cop.

No sweat. This is my old gang.

Would you like to go out to grab a burger

and then go to the movies or something?

I'd like to introduce you guys

to the future Mrs. Zed!

Hey, son.

- Excuse me, Officer.

- Yes, ma'am?

We are sitting in the nonsmoking section...

and that man refuses

to put out his cigar.

I'll take care of this, ma'am.

Excuse me, sir.

You're sitting in a nonsmoking area.

Would you please extinguish that cigar?

Drop dead.

I'll put it out when I'm finished.

You'll put it out now, mister!

Hit it!

NOW, go get him!

- Hurry up!

- I'm trying. I'm going as fast...

- Drive!

- Aah!

Will this count against us, sir?

You know, I've been here at the academy

many wonderful years...

and I'm very fond of it.

- The new cadets are doing well?

- Yes, sir.

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