Police Academy 3: Back in Training Page #4

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- We are going to succeed now, aren't we?

- Yes, sir.

Good. Good, good.

One more ping out of you, Jonesey,

I'll tape your lips permanently together.

Hey, Jon...

Listen, everybody.

I want you to forget today. You don't have

to be ready for the field yet.

- We sure proved that.

- It wasn't a total loss.

Of course it wasn't.

One police car and two civilian cars

completely totaled...

three citizens' complaints...

two members of the evaluation committee

under heavy sedation.

I wouldn't call it a total loss,

would you? No.

Bartender, how about some champagne

for me and my associate?

We're celebrating. Come on, Proctor.

- Let's just get out of here.

- No.

Boy, that's a waste of champagne, sir.

Now, what is that crack

supposed to mean, Mahoney?

It means we don't think you can tell the

difference between beer and champagne.

You know something?

You two are brain dead.

Oh. Bet you can't. Loser pays.

- You're on, Mahoney.

- Can I have a beer in the same glass?

- Mind if we blindfold you, sir?

- Why?

- We wouldn't want you to peek.

- Right.

- See anything? Huh?

- No.

- Sure?

- No, I can't see.

Okay. Round and round

and guess the drink.

Oh!

You win! He always wins!

All right, we'll pay up.

Let's get out of here.

- You two jerks.

- You really showed them, sir.

- Proctor.

- Yes, sir?

Oh.

Give me a hand with this. Take it off.

No, don't go slow.

Go fast, so it doesn't hurt.

That hurt. Am I okay?

It's nice. There's a

mirror right here, sir.

I got no eyebrows.

- Where are my eyebrows?

- Right here, sir.

- This is going very well.

- Yeah?

Oh, yeah. That's great. It's coming.

That's great. That's nice.

You're gonna like that, sir.

Let me see it.

Look at that. Look at this,

this angle over here, every angle.

- I can't see it!

- It's yours.

So, what do you think, sir?

I think I like it.

Commissioner Hurst was very upset.

He used many bad words

to describe our academy.

Some were even foreign.

Italian or Irish, I think.

This is survival of the fittest...

and after what happened downtown...

it seems we're not very fit.

- Sir, you're not giving up, are you?

- Of course not.

I have no doubt we shall be victorious.

Well, I have a little doubt,

but, basically, I'm an optimist.

Now, I know the committee

will be observing us here...

and in the field,

and at the Policepersons Ball...

so we must do nothing

to dishonor the uniform.

- What was I saying?

- Dismissed!

Right.

This map will pinpoint trouble spots...

over a 10-square-mile area.

This dispatch unit has a 200-mile range...

and a computerized city grid.

This computerized city grid

tracks police vehicle movement.

- Is that clear, everyone?

- Yes, ma'am!

Yeah, why not?

In tear gas training...

the manual says

you should have your mask on.

Be out of here 30 seconds after

the canister comes through the window.

Any questions?

Good luck.

- Nice throw, Hightower.

- It went in, didn't it?

All right, everybody out!

Everybody present and accounted for?

I feel good. I'll be in

there if you need me.

Look, I know you people

have had a tough week...

but there's something you should know.

You may be the last class

to attend this academy.

I don't know if this means anything to you,

but it sure does to us.

That's why, we not only

want you to keep up the good work...

we want you to work harder.

Because we think that you people...

can be the best class

this academy has ever seen.

You can do it. Believe me.

Once, even I was a screw-up.

Let's go out there and win one

for Comdt. Lassard, okay?

Okay? Yeah, come on.

Okay. Yeah.

Attention!

Dismissed.

Did you hear that?

No? Of course not. How silly of me to ask.

You're too far from the window.

- Look sharp, Mahoney.

- Right.

- Sgt. Mahoney.

- Yeah.

- I was really impressed by what you said.

- Oh.

You really care.

Yeah. Just don't spread it around.

It might ruin my rep.

I owe you an apology for the way I acted.

You were just trying to be cute.

Trying? On a cuteness scale of one to 10,

I'm an eight.

- Five.

- You're right, I am a five.

Listen, I'll accept your apology

if you accept mine.

- Deal.

- All right. You know something?

Have you ever felt,

after meeting someone for 10 minutes...

- you've known them for two, three years?

- No.

- Oh.

- Aah! Mahoney.

- Thanks, Mahoney.

- Welcome, sir.

Excuse, please. Shall I come back

when all is well with your mind?

My mind is as well as it gets,

but you look a little tense.

You see, I have great confusions...

about Sgt. Callahan.

You've come to the right place, brother.

Grab yourself pad and pencil because...

the love doctor is about to speak.

Yo!

In my country, it is written...

only kiss of beautiful woman...

can compare to petal of a rose...

."babe.

In America, talk is cheap.

I love America.

Hey. Hi, there. Remember me?

Ah, yes, of course. How could I forget?

Who was that?

Just an old friend.

Why are we celebrating?

It's Mauser, 42. Lassard, zip.

You think we're doing that well?

- Mahoney.

- Oh.

How's tricks? Not to worry.

Oh.

Your friend forgot to wear

her "for rent" sign.

Oh. She's such a sweet kid.

My aerobics instructor.

Mahoney, see this ear?

It's a finely tuned crap detector.

Oh. And a lovely ear it is. If I blow

in it, will you follow me anywhere?

Well, I'm surprised

you had the nerve to show up...

after your cadets humiliated

the Police Department.

Personally, it makes me sick.

How about you guys?

Don't you guys think...

Coming, Commissioner.

Will you think less of me

if I call him a slime bucket?

Mm-mm. In fact, I'll have my aerobics

instructor confirm it. I'll be right back.

Hey.

- So how you doing?

- Terrific. I need one of your special favors.

- Right here?

- Mm-mm-mm.

Oh. I just love a man

that eats shrimp that way.

- You do?

- Oh, yes.

Come on.

- How does he do that?

- The question is, why does he do that?

It is a power of the mind.

Allow me.

What kind of idiot klutz are you?

Come on, dumpling.

I witnessed the entire attack, sir.

My apologies, Mrs. Hurst.

May I say Copeland is not one of my cadets.

He is a member of Lassard's staff.

You look different, Mauser.

Are you putting on weight?

Come on, dumpling.

We'll get you cleaned up.

That's Lassard's staff, sir.

Send me the cleaning bill on that, sir.

You want the last shrimp?

- There's only one thing that I want.

- What? I'll call room service.

Don't be silly.

What I want is for you to wait in there,

in the bathroom...

while I get ready.

- Why can't I wait in here?

- We just met.

Come on, can't a girl be

a little bit old-fashioned?

I'll call you just as soon as I'm ready.

Come on, it's kind of drafty.

I'll get some help.

A little patience. I'll be out in a minute.

Hurry up. Somebody wants to use the...

Come on, let me in! Hurry up!

You should be ashamed of yourself.

I'll make up your room in a minute.

Where you going with my cart?

- My cart.

- Let me borrow it.

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