Poltergay Page #5

Synopsis: When Marc and Emma move into their new house, they have no idea that in the 1970s, their basement was a gay nightclub which had been destroyed by fire and that the house itself is now haunted by the ghosts of five gay and mischievous clubbers. And now their penchant for raising the roof with renditions of Boney M's 'Rasputin' causes havoc in the household! How to put an end to these fiendish frighteners? Is there something Mark himself can do? If so, at what cost? 'Poltergay' will have your sides in stitches and your head rolling on the floor!
Director(s): Eric Lavaine
Production: Festive Films
 
IMDB:
5.4
Rotten Tomatoes:
60%
NOT RATED
Year:
2006
93 min
40 Views


It's alright! Don't worry!

Wait...

I'll be back! Don't move!

Emma!

Emma! Unbelievable!

Don't you get my messages?

I'm fine! I'm cured!

It's complex, but I'll explain!

We'll be home in 2 minutes!

PIease!

Forget me.

Good luck. To you, and your wheelbarrow.

F***! Emma!

Are you OK?

Are you OK? Nearly there!

Sorry.

Our pal! Running red lights now, eh?

- You like prison food?

- It's an emergency! Really!

AII wasted too!

AII right, girls! Get out!

Phil... who are you talking to?

He's all alone.

Yeah... it's just me.

The 5 fairies back there!

The 5 what?

What?

Who?

Take a vacation, Phil!

It's OK, Phil... move along now...

Bye Phil!

Are you nuts?

You know how it is.

Don't touch me!

Better now?

AII right, baby?

Thanks, Mark.

"Emma..."

"I'd like to explain..."

"but otherwise,

your stuff's in the hall."

"Mark"

Don't put a crease in the jeans.

You'll get all rumply at work!

Work is history!

But that's not the problem never mind.

This is nice, eh?

OK, Mark?

Yeah, yeah.

"Love is a science..."

"you my guiding hand...

I hear your silence..."

"and try to understand...

Did I love you badly?"

"My angel, sweet and brutal..."

"Pure and clear and perfect..."

"a jewel made of crystal."

Who is it?

Is it for me?

Mark.

I got your letter. I just wanted to say...

- "It's lovely."

-Yeah?

"Especially the end."

The end?

"Your stuff"?

"I hear your silence..."

"It's beautiful."

- Must be a mistake...

- Jean Cocteau.

What?

Jean Cocteau.

You like poetry?

Oh yes...

We should talk, don't you think?

Of course. Talk and meet...

- Invite her to dinner!

- Get her over here!

Maybe we can... have dinner?

Finally!

- Next week!

- Tonight!

Tonight?

I'll be there in 1 hour.

Me too. I mean, I'll be waiting.

Who forged my handwriting?

Thanks, guys!

It was me, Mark.

I only wanted to help.

So I took the letter...

Thanks, Shaggy!

You're brilliant! Thanks!

What time is it?

That's on your broken watch. It's 20.15.

Do me a favour, guys.

- Leave me and Emma alone tonight?

- OK, but...

OK, but... you want your wife back, right?

Exactly!

The way he looks, he has no chance!

Hardly a babe-magnet!

He's right:
always rumply!

But he works, or worked, so hard!

No time for taste!

I worked for BASF for ten years...

- and was always more than alluring!

- But...

- Listen.

- Enough with the witchtrial!

So he's frumpy! And straight!

That's how it is!

Is it innate? Who knows?

We can't all have dominant mothers...

and meek fathers! It's not his fault!

The concept of tolerance...

means nothing to you?

- Is Perry Mason done?

- Stop it!

We'll help you!

Let's get to work, girls!

Give me a hand!

No.

No.

I think I'll do the icing!

This material!

Wait, Giles!

This might work better!

Facial toner! Such penetration!

Easy, boy!

Good evening!

It's changed! It's so much bigger!

We... I took out the pool table.

It creates more space.

- You did all this?

- Yes.

By yourself?

Yes.

I did the step!

That's pretty.

Fairy lights! They light up!

Sit down.

Make yourself...

at home!

Mark! It's ready!

Two more nibbles!

Did you shag her?

The tomato umbrellas!

That's enough!

- She'll notice!

- Dressed to the nines!

She'll love you!

Yes.

Next!

You're back already?

You did all this?

Yes.

- It's lovely!

- A minimum of effort.

Everything OK?

Ask about her job.

So, how's work?

Well, the Pompeii job...

is a bit boring.

Well, "Pompeii isn't Carthage!"

Well, "Pompeii isn't Carthage!"

Carthage?

That's for sure.

You weren't into that stuff before?

- "Hannibal,

- "Hannibal,

- the city walls,

- the city walls,

- the Antonine baths..."

- the Antonine baths..."

I got so laid there!

I got so... it's great!

Pompeii, Carthage those Persians, huh!

Idiot! Wrong answer!

The Persians?

Really! Fancy some wine?

I'm fine.

You're different.

I'm cured. I'm better now.

It's all sorted.

It's as if you'd changed.

For the better.

I like it.

Dessert is served!

Dessert is served!

AIready?

I mean, I made dessert, and it's ready.

Superb!

- Cake?

- Is that the cake?

I supervised!

I'd never have guessed...

- It's great, fantastic.

- Thanks.

But, I'm sorry...

- I have to... She'll notice.

- But... my icing!

That was my icing!

Sorry!

- He ruined my cake!

- Be strong!

- He ruined my cake!

- I know!

I know!

It's sort of...

Chocolate!

No, really, it was delicious...

it was a great dinner...

I'll have an apple.

As you like.

I'll mute it.

What are you doing?

A Marquise apple!

Did you do that?

But how?

It's amazing!

- It's an apple.

- Show me.

Not with a Granny.

Come on!

Giles, the music!

Let me see...

The music is pre-programmed.

Time to dance! Dance?

Follow my lead.

Forward..

Follow my lead.

Back,

Back, and forward...

To the right...

And the magic square...

Now!

I should go...

Are you sure?

In for the kill!

- Kiss her! You fag!

- Full tongue job!

Damn allergies!

PIease, get lost!

You're not hurt, Mark?

Kissie.

Kissie, kissie.

I love it when you growl. Turns me on!

OK, let's go!

Hi, I'm Giles.

What's your precinct, big boy?

It wasn't me! I didn't touch anything!

It was already switched on!

It was great!

Now she's back,

we need to get organised...

Explain this!

Wow, you're on here!

It was true?

We're off... We'll be downstairs...

Kissie you too.

They went into the wall!

Well my love, that's what ghosts do.

They go into walls.

My calculation for

the Great Passage is done.

The moment when your ghostly chums...

Ieave the world of the living...

is fixed for...

Tuesday July 7th 2706.

At 1.55.

That late, huh?

Or 2.55, if we give

up daylight savings time.

That's quite a wait!

We need more friends!

Girlfriends even!

Enough, Ivan!

You'll need to be very, very patient...

because 2706 is hardly next week!

I've thought of something!

This was once a nightclub!

A drink on the house?

Why all the Greeks on TV?

They're Romans! Ghosts!

They're here,

but only on-screen for you.

From Pompeii!

They were at the baths.

Mostly gay...

and they died in the eruption!

How did they get here?

By ship, with lava stones.

Dance?

I'm Gillus.

Concerning the baths...

I just went to wash.

I'm not...

a homo.

Nor me, Gillus!

Did you see Ivan?

No. No.

Weird cocktail!

No Curacao... I used tomato juice.

It's different but it's...

Hi.

Amazing! You look 20 years younger!

-Is he here?

- Right here. You can see him on the screen.

- Shaggy?

- Yes, Huggy.

He's saying...

I can read his lips... thanks, Mark.

"I'm here Huggy..."

"Here for ever..."

Dust in my eye...

- Having fun?

- I'm thirsty!

Hi! I'm her husband!

Fancy a drink?

How's my grandson doing?

Fine, Dad!

Bravo Mark! Well done!

No hard feelings!

Great club! Nice atmosphere!

Yes.

- A lot of fags here!

- Pardon?

- Lots of fags!

- I like it!

I like older men.

Yeah, but:
"old rod, small rod!"

Let's be clear...

There's a pork-roast for 6 down there!

OK?

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