Poltergay Page #4

Huh?

OK, guys. Reset.

You shoot now. You'll see.

Holy sh*t!

Is that them?

Wow!

They're good!

It's like a flying sea-snake!

Oh sh*t! Are they there?

I've got pretty balls, huh?

They see me?

Is he playing with a full deck?

They think you're cool.

Howdy!

That's a cue-rack! Over there!

Do they live here?

That's the problem...

Good evening, Mr Modena.

A classic case.

What our German friends call

"poltergeists".

"Noisy spirits".

You say they died violently,

without a proper burial...

they behave strangely...

are prisoners in this house...

... and appear at night?

Absolutely.

What are you doing?

To imprison such spirits...

one needs an area of consecrated ground...

... enclosed by 4 holy stones.

We need to find those stones.

I should have taken the barbecue sauce.

Get me some.

Hey! Get it yourself!

David... please.

And for dessert, a fudge McFIurry.

Do it for me!

Great!

It's OK.

He has a cuckold's chin...

a prominent forehead

and a thick neck an obvious cretin!

Right... find me those stones!

It's manual labour... not too hard...

even for you.

I hate him.

It's mutual.

You can see them? And hear them?

Let's go guys!

"This house was built

on a Templars' shrine..."

"and the 4 imprisoning stones represent

the 4 corners of the old torture chamber."

"When the Order was repressed..."

"the Templars were slain..."

"at this precise location:

your house..."

"and the former club."

SIow going! Careful, Mark.

OK. There!

The stones represent the limits

of the ectoplasmic perimeter.

Your chums' "prison".

If I move the stones...

they move too.

One barbecue sauce!

I don't want it now. Where's my dessert?

Thanks, David.

I don't want it now. Where's my dessert?

Here!

So if I put the stonesat

each corner of the country...

they could go anywhere?

That's impossible.

The ectoplasmic zone is fixed.

It can't be enlarged.

So they will never leave?

Oh, but yes!

The poltergeist state is just one step

preceding reincarnation and...

the Great Passage.

What's that?

Like in that film: "Hell-house".

Every 700 years, there's a big hole...

and guys fall in.

So you liked that fine documentary...

But then, you have flat lobes.

I'm going to play pool.

When is the Great Passage?

It can be defined.

I can do that.

But I am intrigued...

Some people...

can see them...

others cannot.

Yes, I agree.

Be quiet!

I need to think.

We know that Casanova's ghost...

appeared only to virgins.

To no-one else. Why?

Because he lusted after virginity.

Thus, if we see them...

others do not,

it is for the same reason...

Virginity!

That doesn't work. I can see them...

- and I'm no virgin.

- With a man?

Ah, in that case...

Myself too!

And what fantasy...

inspires every pederast?

You and I!

Attractive hetero males to convert!

That makes sense.

Emma's Dad and I can see them...

but she can't.

Exactly.

Impure contact with a man

means virginity is lost.

So you can't see them.

Are your toilets clean?

Yes.

Where?

I'm coming.

AII right, guys?

I'll kill the fascist!

No, we need him!

It's bedtime, OK?

For you!

We're stuck here because of the stones!

Why don't you put the stones in the car

and go for a drive!

He's right!

We can't leave the perimeter,

but we can move it!

Mark can drive us and the stones...

I wouldn't, if I were you.

We'll do what we like, pal!

You're not giving orders!

How do we do it?

We can't even touch the stones!

- Come and party with us!

- I'm off!

I'm really not in the mood.

Early night for me.

Be cool, Mark!

We'll never see

what's become of the world.

But we can't force anyone to be generous.

Don't worry, Mark...

We'll still help get Emma back.

Kissie!

Bastards!

OK. But not for long.

I'll have to move the stones!

Hurry up!

I have a question for you...

why doesn't David see the ghosts?

Think about it. There are two cases.

Either you're pure... or you're not.

Leave the old fart!

Good night, Mr Modena.

Let's go, Mark!

- You'll drop me off?

- Sure.

Party time!

Who put a stone by the brake!

- I did. Don't move.

- What's he doing?

OK! I've got it.

Put the radio on!

- Yes, the radio!

- 2 seconds!

A serenade for Paris!

Sounds good! Is it new?

- Turn it up!

- That better?

- Yeah, cool!

- Yes.

Why don't you come?

V's probably waiting.

And tomorrow at 6...

I have to examine the firemen.

- A whole squad in their boxers!

- Invite her.

Having their nuts squeezed!

You want to come? It's near your house.

Thanks... but no thanks.

- See you!

- Meet you!

They all say bye.

Hey, Mark?

What?

Maybe we could stop by?

- Maybe we could stop by?

- To see the firemen!

What?

What's the problem? Firemen are cool!

Firefighting is important!

- Right!

- It is!

And hunky firemen?

What are you talking about?

Admit it! You're a fag!

You want to check out firemen

because you're gay!

You hear that, Mark? That's a good one!

Me! Gay! It's preposterous!

- Gay, gay!

- Stop teasing Benny Hill!

Paris is still so beautiful!

Michael! The Mayor's place!

Where are we going?

The Marais!

The Marais!

- What's there?

- Surprise!

Gay driving schools!

Gay restaurants!

Gay bookstores!

Gay hairdressers! Gay gays!

It's the Promised Land!

Take a smaller table!

When the place fills up, I'll move. OK?

What can I get you?

Beer? Beer? Yes?

Thanks.

The joint's empty!

It's not EuroDisney!

- Euro-what?

- What's EuroDisney?

Oh, right.

A funfair in the suburbs

with Mickey Mouse.

Why doesn't David see you?

I'm sure he's not gay. Everyone's gay.

Heterosexuality is a bourgeois scam.

And all straights are latent gays!

We're either gay or fascists! Yes?

You piss me off!

What about tolerance and difference...

do they mean nothing?

With his Peace and Love pendant...

a bigot!

You're right. He's talking rubbish.

David! He touches d*cks!

Firemen's d*cks!

That's the reason!

He touches other people's d*cks!

That's why he can't see you!

Of course, that's why he can't see you!

He touches firemen's d*cks!

And so he can't see you!

That's great! No problem!

Brilliant! I'll call him!

Move the stones!

Mark! The stones!

At work, you touch d*cks!

That's why they're invisible!

I'll call back.

That's me, there.

I've changed!

No, I recognize you.

I know the person beside you.

Impossible.

He passed away a long time ago.

Huggy?

Only one person ever called me that!

You're too young.

How did you know?

I know?

What's up guys?

Don't move!

Sir! Sir!

Your order!

Any longer outside,

and they're in limbo...

I wouldn't like to be in their shoes...

- Your order?

- Quarterpounder with cheese.

I'd just leave them there.

But if you want to save them, it's simple.

Put the stones back in the house.

The timing is vital.

They must always be back by 1.55.

The time of the explosion

during their debauchery.

Like Cinderella...

they're Cinderellas!

You!

Cinders with their own balls!

Napkins are extra?

They're in the bag, sir.

Don't worry! It'll be OK!

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