Poltergay Page #3

I found this for V's birthday.

It's African or Columbian, maybe...

- I don't know where to put it.

- Nor me.

But you're gay! You should know!

Where would you put it?

In the cellar.

What did he say?

He didn't say anything.

Yes I did, Papa.

I said that maybe I was...

homosexual... or bisexual.

Phew! I was worried...

I thought you didn't like my tiramisu!

Your tiramisu's the best!

So you're a fairy...

You know, pre-war... back in Italy...

I had this beautiful neighbour...

- she was round and firm: an apricot!

- AIright, Mama! Enough already!

- We used to do it every washday.

- AIright, Mama! Enough already!

- Your father was kind and a good worker.

- What did gran say?

But useless in bed.

We have to help him.

No leftovers!

What did gran say?

We have to help him.

Any ideas?

This TV is all squashed!

I'll talk to him.

A proper discussion.

We can help him...

and he might help us escape.

What's that?

An article about hammerhead sharks.

Hammertit sharks!

Don't push me, Ivan, please!

I've grilled his jeans!

Have you seen the date?

It's 2006!

We've been here for 27 years!

I'm 60!

No.

My ex is mayor of Paris!

And when I was in Italy...

one night he wasn't home!

But Mark is the Latin type.

And?

He's hot-blooded.

He needs to play around!

I swore I wouldn't tell...

He even hit on me!

What? Mark?

I don't want to cause trouble...

Is that him?

Don't answer!

Don't be a sucker!

You understand?

"Accept it. Act upon it."

Excuse me...

I will have...

a Scotch!

On the rocks?

Right, no ice. Thanks.

Has everyone left?

At 12? It isn't EuroDisney.

Uh, Yes.

Can I get a light, please?

...and for a name?

Samuel or John, finally Mark.

That's funny:
my name's Mark!

You done, Mr Suit 'n' Tie?

No, it's Modena.

Mark... never mind.

Straight bait.

Up my alley!

Time out!

Hi, I'm Mark.

Wanna go downstairs?

Yes, sure... why? What's downstairs?

Come, and I'll show you.

Easy now... The direct type, huh?

I'm more old-fashioned...

maybe we could talk?

You just give head?

I didn't catch that.

You only give blow-jobs?

I didn't say that! No way!

Maybe we can chat... first!

What do you do?

I'm active.

Yes, but in what?

In almost anyone. It depends.

Right!

So what sign are you?

I don't believe in all that

astral sh*t, but hey!

I like you. We're going to get along.

Terrific!

You OK?

Do you want something to drink?

Or a bite to eat?

I just want to f***.

Your place?

My place is not a good option!

Outside then?

I didn't like it much outside,

the last time.

Stones, and bits of stuff, and thorns...

Stop it! Sorry, but I can't drive.

That's all.

Shame:
no site keys.

You work on a site?

Site manager! A great job!

A challenge, I love it!

Have you got any work clothes?

The first time I felched

a Turkish builder...

Great! Great!

Park there, quick!

Talk Turkish to me!

- Turkish?

- Yeah!

Go on, go on!

Kebab!

More!

Galatasaray...

F***, you're a hunk!

OK. OK.

- Do me a favour?

- No, yes, it depends.

Do me a favour?

No, yes, it depends.

Put this on.

And get undressed.

Aren't you worried

someone will see us?

Sure... the squirrels.

Here, lover...

Dear God! It's unreal!

And it's all yours!

What?

Hi. It's our pal!

Freaky, huh!

- It's not mine!

- I can see that! No question!

Wrap it all up! Follow us!

Straights! Never again!

"New message."

"Trayner here. You were expected at 7.

Get a new job. Goodbye."

"New message."

"Mark, it's Emma."

"Dad's picking up his car tonight."

"Don't be there... please."

How are you?

Oh no! I'd forgotten!

We're having a Village People party...

we borrowed some stuff.

Damn visions!

He's obsessed!

See a shrink!

Change the goddamn song!

What time is it?

You're all worked up!

You need a bath and a massage.

Shut up!

Maldini! Dinnertime!

I need my keys.

Come in.

I'm sorry... it's so unlike me.

Just a misunderstanding...

Tell Emma...

Definitely.

Thanks.

Gentlemen...

Kissie!

"Gentlemen?"

Wait!

Wait!

Wait!

Who were you talking to?

Who was there?

Those fellows...

What fellows? I'm all alone!

You're crazy! The Indian, the cop...

the motorbike guy...

That's great!

- That's great!

- Crazy!

"L'Am - bi - gu" What is that?

Colour TV for the straights!

Damn allergies!

Must be puss!

"Franz, let's get married!"

Princes but no queens!

"I love you, Franz!"

"Don't call me Franz!"

- Change channels!

- Switch it back on! We want the Princess!

And the Prince!

"Tragedy at club. 5 dead."

Baby!

Smoking!

No effect at all!

Come on!

Pass the ball!

"Tr.z.guet shoots!"

Tr.z.-gay? Who are these guys?

We'll never win with the B-team!

Where's Janvion and Revelli?

Or the new kid, PIatini?

France always sucks at soccer!

We have won 2 Euros and a World Cup!

Leave the footie!

Let's talk.

Did you hear that, girls!

- He wants to talk!

- Look.

We're in the newspaper!

Let's see!

"Explosion at 2 in the morning..."

That's mine.

"Five victims' bodies were not found..."

"due to the blast..."

"caused by a short-circuit in an

overheated bubble and foam machine!"

I get it now.

April 13th 1979...

Huggy's surprise birthday party...

he was thirty...

my partner!

You come out at night...

stay young...

We're fags, right?

- Yes. No. I was going to say ghosts!

- What a genius!

We walk through walls and don't age...

you could have asked us!

Anyway...

Emma's Dad sees you, so I'm not alone...

And I'm not mad, and not gay!

Happy now, are you?

He's glad not to be gay!

Yes!

Maybe I can win back the woman I love!

"Ghosts"

Brilliant!

I'm coming!

...so if you think you can help,

call me back. Thanks.

The very man!

You lost your job: you're in deep sh*t...

So? suicide?

What?

Well you're gay, your wife's left you,

you're jobless... it makes sense.

Bullshit!

I'm not gay.

Shame, it was kind of cool.

Did you tell Emma?

I left 100 messages...

Oh sh*t! Like a beer?

It's me...

I went for my car.

- You OK?

- Yeah.

Move on, Emma. I saw Mark.

- Really? How is he?

- Seems just fine!

Having a little party a kinky costume do!

Going out?

To work. I can't sleep anyway.

Mark!

Christ!

Stop going through walls!

It's creepy! There are doors!

Doors means... never mind.

You know...

the pal who never showed up...

can you try and find him?

His name was Henry Burns.

But I called him Huggy.

He ran a bar in the Rue St Anne.

The love of my life.

I'll do what I can.

- Huggy?

- Huggy.

Right... We're going to dance.

Thanks.

What's up?

It's Ivan! He's dead!

- Yes, I'm dead!

- My baby's dead!

- It's Ivan! He's dead!

- Of course he's dead! You're dead too!

You're all dead! So what?

Not again! You need locking up!

You need locking up!

You're seriously whacko!

You're seriously whacko!

I'm talking to gh...

to friends you can't see.

Cut it out!

How about a demo?

Leave it to me!

What?

Just watch!

Ready?

Lets' go!

Nice move. My turn.

Nice move!

Did you see that?

You think I did that alone?

What planet are you on?

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