Pootie Tang Page #3
Everybody want a piece of Pootie.
You think I'm playin'?
Here we go, baby.
Come on. Get up here.
Aiight!
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
We got Pootie Tang
in the house tonight.
Come on up, Pootie.
Come on.
I need you to sing
a song with me.
Beloved.
I love you,
Pootie Tang. Damn.
That's a batu shane,
my tellie.
I'm
Falling in love
with you
Because you are
my man so right
Tippi tai on my capa-town
And I'm
Oh, yeah
Thinking of only you
Because you move me
so right
All around my damie
I feel you
All on me, baby
I got you
I got you, baby
Whoa, yeah, yeah
On my clammy dees
On my damie kings
I'm a cry the pooster
I'm a cry the pooster
Pootie Tang
up in this joint tonight.
I love you. I want you.
Oh, take me with you.
Please, Pootie.
Pootie, please. Please.
Wait! Oh! Pootie!
Wait!
Oh, Pootie, I love you.
I want you.
I love you, Pootie.
Please!
Don't leave me out here
in my lonesome.
Give a girl something!
It's not right.
She's fine!
Why did Pootie pass that up?
'Cause she's crazy. Look at her,
licking milk out of a bowl.
Oh, Pootie Tang, you gonna
- All right!
- Bata shane, my dillie?
Same as always, baby.
You come by tomorrow.
We gonna have a party!
Talk about
all the sisters and me.
You gonna be there?
All right, Pootie!
Hey, young boys.
Hey, look at her, man.
Pink lady.
Pull up, man. Pull up.
Pull up!
What you want?
- You want somethin'?
- Yes, baby, I want it.
What you want?
I want you to do
the two of us.
How much?
Hey, baby,
what's your problem?
Just 'cause a girl
like to dress fancy...
near some whores...
you automatically
think she's hooking?
Wouldn't you?
No, I wouldn't.
I'm a lady,
you greasy bastard.
Oh, yeah! Pootie Tang
and his boys are here!
Yo, man, a Biggie Shorty party
is exclusive, man.
They don't let nobody
They got a line around the block.
Ain't nobody in, man.
You know what? Nobody we know
can get in this party, man.
They don't let no light in.
They don't let no electricity in.
They don't let no water in.
They don't let no air in.
Air is going, "Man, I'm air.
I'm on the list. Let me in."
And they won't let air in.
And you know air gets in everywhere.
That's how exclusive
You know what else?
It's hard to get in too.
I hate you!
Go, Trucky! Go, Trucky!
Go, Trucky! Go, Trucky!
Go, Trucky! Go, Trucky!
Go, Trucky!
Pretty girl. Pretty girl.
Where you go, girl?
Pootie, you are the sexiest
bastard on God's green earth.
- Yeah.
- I tell you, though.
Someday I'm gonna get me
a piece of you myself.
- Sepatown.
- Sepatown, my ass.
You gonna be inside
of a bed with me someday.
You mark my words,
you skinny, wonderful man.
Pretty girl!
Pretty girl!
Sexy!
Pretty girl? Pretty girl!
How does a woman
get to you anyway?
It's like a state secret.
How to bed Pootie Tang.
Get off him already.
He don't want none of your mess.
I tell you what, Pootie.
Someday you gonna meet
your match in a woman.
Someday you gonna meet
Some woman's gonna kick
your ass and love you to death...
and then you gonna be
lying in the Dumpster...
done banged to death
by the dark side of love.
And on that day, Pootie...
I'm gonna be there.
And I'm gonna make
sweet love to you.
Sexy girl!
- Damn, man.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought she was
somebody else, man. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.
Damn. I didn't get
your name, did l?
Damn. Do I know you?
Do you want me
to pull your legs off?
- Pardon me?
- You wanna make out?
Shut up!
Okay, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute!
Look here. Call me a sissy,
but you need to stop, baby.
You are tearing me apart.
You're killing me.
- You want me to stop?
- Well, yes, I do.
Okay, then,
you tell me something.
- What do you wanna know?
- What's Pootie's secret?
I can't tell you that.
anything to hurt Pootie Tang.
But like I said, Ireenie knew
- I can't tell you that.
- You can't? All right.
Okay, wait. I'll tell you.
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you. I'll tell you.
It's the belt.
It's the belt.
It's magical.
He can kick anybody's ass
with that damn belt.
Yeah. Give me your money,
or I'll stick this
in you deep.
Wa-da-tah,
my damie.
Hey, I'm not your damie. Now, give
me your cash. I know you got it.
Hey, I told you to back off!
Pootie, the craziest thing
just happened to me.
I'm in the club, man.
I'm-- Pootie, look out.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Pootie?
Everything under control?
Kayed a brother, di.
Kayed a brother, di!
I'm a shamey day!
I'm a shamey day!
Oh, it hurts Pootie
to kill a man...
but he knows
he's got to do it.
But it hurts him so bad...
My man Pootie Tang!
Come back
on the bettie tai!
Come back on
the bettie tai!
Come back
on the bettie tai!
Hey, all right, my damie.
Why didn't Trucky tell Pootie that
he told Ireenie all his business?
Just runnin' his mouth.
I guess when you see a man
being brought back from the dead...
you forget sh*t.
Or maybe you just
a dumb-ass.
Stop the movie. Remember when
Daddy Tang told little Pootie--
Don't let the ladies
come between you and the belt.
Well, what Daddy Tang forgot to tell
Pootie was about his only weakness.:
ho's.
Even Pootie Tang's belt
was no match for Ireenie.
You can't beat a ho' with a belt.
They like that sh*t.
I'm sorry.
Did my cart hit your cart?
Did I hurt you?
Oh, what a drag.
Again, I am...
very sorry!
Pootie, will you do
something for me?
Will you do something
for Ireenie?
Sign your pretty name.
Sign it.
Sign it. Sign it.
Sign it.
He signed it.
He signed it.
He signed it. Oh, God.
Signed it?
Nice job, Ireenie.
You're a damn genius, baby.
"I, Pootie Tang, do surrender
to Lecter Corp...
all the rights to
my image and likeness."
Oh, yes, yes.
"I will whole heartedly endorse
all Lecter Corp. products...
and will do my best to convince
the children of the world...
that the above mentioned
are all clean, safe...
and should be bought
and used by all of them."
No, not
the tippi tais, no.
No, no. You are part of the
corporation, just like us.
Thought you could stay
out of it, huh?
Welcome aboard,
Pootie Tang.
Are you looking
for something, my friend?
Are you?
I've got it all now.
Shocking news today as beloved
Pootie Tang has agreed to endorse...
several controversial
products for Lecter Corp....
the infamous
giant corporation.
Yo, fellas, somethin' on the TV
about Pootie Tang.
Even my kids, man, looked up
to him. You know what I mean?
They don't even look at Dad
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"Pootie Tang" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/pootie_tang_16082>.
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