Pootie Tang Page #4

like they look at him.

But now since he crossed,

man, my little--

my little man came up to me

the other day and was like...

"Man, how could he do

that bullshit, man?

-- that--"

I'm lookin' at him like, "Whoa."

Pootie Tang has made my children

cry. I'll not support him anymore.

Lecter Corp. effectively owns

the name Pootie Tang...

his image and all copyrights

that go along with it.

Mr. Tang agreed to do commercials

endorsing our sneakers...

food products and cigarettes,

whiskey, mace, switchblades...

rat poison.

Mr. Lecter,

can we have a statement--

You know, Biggie Shorty,

I got to say...

I always had a high opinion

of Pootie Tang.

But the way things are going now,

not only has he sold out...

he's scraping

the bottom of the barrel.

Pootie Tang was drugged

by that crazy-ass Ireenie.

- Haven't you been watchin' the film?

- And that's what disturbs me.

He's out there telling kids

not to go to school...

to eat fast food,

to do drugs.

This is not the Pootie Tang I

thought I knew and I used to admire.

- He would never tell kids that.

- You're in denial.

He's out there doing dirt

to his own reputation.

- You don't know Pootie Tang.

- I don't know Pootie Tang?

Believe me,

I know Pootie Tang...

and this is not the Pootie Tang

I thought I knew.

I thought a man of your stature

would have better sense...

than to fall

for no mess like that.

Look, this thing

has all fallen apart.

The man used to be admired

by people of all walks of life.

And you know what?

If the world is gonna fall for

this mess about my Pootie Tang...

then maybe the world

don't deserve Pootie Tang.

What do you think Pootie Tang

needs at this point in his life?

He just needs some

of my good lovin'...

and he will be all right.

- You watch.

- I hope you're right.

- I know I'm right.

- Yeah, we'll see.

- Yeah, we'll see.

- That's right.

- Watch.

- I will.

Pootie Tang was messed up.

- Punk b*tch.

- Sellout.

- Look at him. Damn, Pootie!

- Get a job, you bum.

Get it together, man. Pootie

looked like who did it and ran.

Pootie turned to the only woman

who could help him.

Poor Pootie Tang.

That's all right.

Mama's got you.

That's all right.

Biggie Shorty's

gonna take care of you.

Don't you worry.

Gonna have sex

with you too, you know.

Finally.

Are you sure you

gotta go, Pootie?

Yeah.

That's a damn shame.

You were the best piece

of man I ever had.

You know, you could just stay here

and live between my bosoms...

for the rest of your life.

Pootie gotta flittie tai,

Biggie Shorty.

Man's gotta do, I suppose.

As long as you gone they can't

make you do no more commercials.

Where you going?

I tell you what. I got a little

farmhouse outside of Greenville.

It was my mama's. It ain't much,

but nobody's livin' there.

You go out there,

find yourself.

But then you come

back to me, okay?

That's a fine tine, baby.

Give me some of that bony ass one

more time before you hit the road.

Man, I hates prison.

Prison sucks.

I reckon it's supposed to.

You got somethin'

for me?

Oh, this some fine dirt.

This is some good dirt.

You know I'm

gonna hook you up.

Man, I hate

these bastards.

They make me shower

every day.

They never let me get dirty. I need

to be dirty. I'm Dirty Dee, damn it!

You gonna be dirty

again soon. I promise.

It's that Pootie Tang.

It's that Pootie Tang.

He got to be stopped.

I'm the one that's got to stop him.

Pootie goddamn Tang!

You gonna, you gotta

You gonna, you gotta

Thank you.

Pootie was headed to the farm.

I wanted to go with him.

- I wanna go with you, brother.

- Everything was all my fault.

Pootie, everything that happened,

man, it's all my fault.

- I told that b*tch all about him.

- I told this b*tch all about you.

- She just used it against him.

- And she just used it against you.

- I was sorry.

- I'm sorry, man. I'm so sorry.

- It was killing me.

- It was killing me.

- Only did it for the ass.

- Only did it for her ass.

That deri-teri was

all the dinie, huh?

- I felt like he saved my life.

- Pootie, man, I just feel like...

you saved my life.

- And I messed his all up.

- Now I messed yours all up.

- I wanted him to forgive me.

- Can you ever forgive me, man?

You my main damie, man.

Ain't no bad tammie

between us.

- I wondered if he meant it.

- You mean it?

- I'm a Baino Denny.

- I wanted to go with him.

Can I go to the farm

with you, brother?

Wa-da-tah!

All right! Me and Pootie

going to the farm!

I'm lookin' forward

to this farm life.

Enough of the city for me.

Yeah, this is just

what we need, Pootie.

Live off the fat

of the land, work hard.

Farming, farming, farming.

I can't wait, man.

I cannot wait.

We're gonna milk that cow.

Get all that milk.

Two percent, fat free.

Skim milk. All that, man.

Chocolate milk.

I don't need

no television, cappuccino...

partying all night long.

I'm want some blisters on my hands,

some sweat on my back.

That's what I want.

Sh*t!

Oh, man. My pants.

Oh, man! My damn pants.

All right.

Farming, farming, farming.

This is not the thing, man.

This ain't cool, man.

Dirty shoes, dirty pants...

dirty shirt, musty, stinky.

It's hotter than

a camel's hump out here, man.

And mosquitos all over my shirt.

I can't do it, man.

Whose dog is this dog

following me around?

Whose dog is that?

You don't know who dog that is.

That could be anybody's dog.

It's too hot.

You know you're hot.

I didn't wanna leave Pootie...

but I wasn't trying to hear

all that survival sh*t.

Outback, my ass.

I need conveniences, man.

On the other hand, Pootie was

lovin' every minute of it.

He was rejuvenated.

You hear that? Rejuvenated.

He was "juvenated" before,

lost it...

and got "juvenated" again.

Rejuvenated.

And when Pootie planted

his first cornstalk...

he was happy.

Too damn happy, if you ask me.

It was just corn.

But that was just what he needed

to take his mind off his troubles.

Rown on the crowny town.

Mornin'.

- Hi, Daddy.

- Not now, Stacy, honey.

There's a new fella here in town.

He's coming in here in a minute.

So?

So? So maybe you can

marry him, that's what so.

Aw, Daddy!

Oh, come on.

Cut that sh*t out, Stacy.

Here he comes.

Yeah. Hey there.

You got your can

filled all right?

This here is my daughter.

Stacy.

Dillie on...

my damie.

And she's a looker,

ain't she? Huh?

God, you stink.

Thank you.

I wanna talk to you

about Pootie Tang.

You mean Public Enemy Number One

in my world.

Right?

We learned that anything

can be addictive.

We took our burgers

and pumped them so full of MSG...

that people can't even

taste real food anymore.

Today American kids don't eat

'cause they're hungry.

They eat 'cause they just gotta

have another Lecter burger.

You see,

I own Pootie's name.

He's mine. I don't need him

to sell my products anymore...

because I've got thousands of them

all over the country.

I'm just gonna give them

the clothes and this training tape.

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