Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping Page #10

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for going and doing

all this solo sh*t.

Dude, you don't have to choose

between us and your solo sh*t.

It's like with Wu-Tang Clan.

It's like you're Method Man,

and he made a solo record, but

he's still in the Wu-Tang Clan.

He never stopped

being in the Wu-Tang Clan.

Right.

LAWRENCE:
Or like the GZA.

He was in the Wu-Tang Clan, and

then he made a solo record,

but he never stopped

being in the Wu-Tang Clan.

Yeah, or you're the RZA,

and you can do your solo sh*t, but

you're still in the Wu-Tang Clan.

So basically,

we're the Wu-Tang Clan.

Exactly, but better.

Yeah.

Well...

As soon as I said it, I was

kind of like, um, maybe not.

It's like we're

three Tom Pettys,

and we're the

Heartbreakers, you know.

You're a Tom Petty, you're a

Tom Petty, and I'm Tom Petty,

but together we're the Heartbreakers...

We're Tom Petty.

Oh, right, no. Yeah.

We're the Heartbreakers.

Yeah, I lost it, too.

OWEN:
Yeah.

We know you've got to fly.

You're like a beautiful bird.

You've got to be out there.

You've got to see it all.

But we can be right there with

you as your little bird legs.

So you think I should

do the Pop Awards?

F***, yes.

Yeah.

All right, well,

I'm not going alone.

Who are you gonna do it with?

With you guys!

Do you wanna come with me?

Oh, sure, I was

wondering who you were...

Yeah, yeah. That's tight.

Hell, yeah!

We're so high.

Sorry.

MAN:
And the stars

are arriving

for this year's Pop Music

Awards, the Poppies.

Good. Let's go.

You guys are all set.

They know you're doing

one Style Boyz song,

and then we're gonna go

into Conner's new single.

Great. Oh, sh*t! Conner,

what up, though, dawg?

CONNER:
Oh, yeah,

what up, Hunter?

Yo, yo, yo. Say hey to

my doc real quick, baby.

Hi.

Yeah.

You got a doc. I got a doc.

You know what I'm saying?

But now, like, I'm rolling

with all these dudes

and with Aquaspin.

Like, I kind of

Single-White-Femaled your ass.

Yeah, man, that's crazy.

Anyway, though,

good to see you, man.

You looking spiffy, you know?

Yo, yo, it's Hunter, dawg, about

to get crazy on the stage...

No, sorry, not your camera.

We're with Conner.

On, sh*t. My bad.

Yo, this is Hunter about to head into

the Poppies. You know what I'm saying?

CAMERAMAN:
No, sorry,

we're with Snoop.

Surprise, mothafucka.

You're watching my brand new

show, Surprise Mothafucka

with Snoop Dogg, and,

mothafucka, you been surprised.

HUNTER:
Excuse me.

Can somebody move?

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Mariah Carey, (SNIFFS) your

hair smells and looks great.

Did you know Aquaspin has

hair dryers and flat irons?

MARIAH:
(CHUCKLES)

No, I didn't.

Aquaspin appliances are completely

affordable for college students.

Honey, you're not

doing ads now. Really?

Read the damn prompter, yo. You

messing with my money right now.

What the (SLEEP) did you

just say to me? What?

Yo (SLEEP) all y'all, all right?

And (SLEEP) everybody else,

and (SLEEP) Mariah Carey

for leaving me up here.

Yeah, I said her. No...

Oh, you still here? I thought you had left.

Okay, sweetie...

Style Boyz.

It's time.

HUNTER:
Yo, what the f***

was that, everybody?

Why you got me up there

saying that bullshit, man?

I told you not to say it. You're the

one that wanted to cash the check.

Dude, you set me up, dude!

You ain't nothing

but like a fake sellout

money hungry pop

bullshit-ass manager.

You ain't nothing but a Tony!

Toni! Total reject, b*tch!

What the f*** you say to me?

Say that sh*t again,

young blood.

I will eat your head! I

will eat your f***ing head!

You better learn some respect.

Yo, all right.

Man, I'm sorry, yo. Chill.

Old-ass motherf***er.

(GRUNTS)

Why you hit me like that, dawg?

Get yourself a new manager.

HUNTER:
Yo, are you serious?

Damn, man.

Oh, my God.

(LAUGHS)

That was great, Harry.

It was insane, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was like, "Get some

respect," you know?

Wow!

Hey, look, Harry, I just

wanna say I'm sorry.

No, don't.

Don't worry about it.

Just get out there and have a good time.

Good luck, guys.

Thanks, Harry.

Thanks, Harry.

Yeah.

(SINGING)

(EXHALES) Okay, this is it.

You nervous?

Just a little bit.

Don't be. We got this.

ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen...

All right, see you out there.

See you out there.

Please take your seats.

Oh, God, Conner, there you are.

Look, the show's going way over,

so you only have

three minutes now.

What? Yeah, you can

only do one song,

so I need to know are you gonna

do Conner4Real or Style Boyz?

Uh...

Yeah. No, I asked him.

He's just kind of, like,

looking off into space

and, like, really

making a meal out of this.

And now I'm just

standing here waiting.

He's looking off to, like,

contemplate whether he should,

I think, pick the Style Boyz, 'cause

he's, like, looking in their direction,

so we might be leaning

toward that kind of...

No, he's looking back.

So I'm lost. I'm not sure

which one he's gonna go for.

All right, I know

what I'm gonna do.

Our final performer tonight is a

living legend and still a superstar.

Ladies and gentlemen, the

one and only Conner4Real-

(AUDIENCE CHEERING

AND APPLAUDING)

(SINGING) Finest girl I

ever met In my whole life

Wanna take her home

Make her my wife

Knew she was a freak

When she started talking

She said

I'm a Style Boy for life

Should we tell them?

Yeah.

Tell them, man.

We made a new song at the farm.

Yeah, we found Lawrence's journals,

and they were just amazing.

Amazing. Just full of

incredible thoughts.

Just like ideas and poems and stuff.

Nothing special.

Yo, and then Conner had the idea

to take a piano line

from my solo sh*t.

Conner put it all together.

And the Poppies paired us with the

craziest special guest to perform with.

Incredible thoughts

Incredible minds

I'm so overwhelmed

How did my brain conceive them

Yeah

A snow white dove

in the pitch-black night

A raindrop falls

from tremendous heights

A wave crashes off

of a cliff in Scotland

A child bites an apple

but the core is rotten

TV is free But what is the cost

We have GPS

And yet we're still lost

A carrot in the desert

A camel in the garden

A man with giant ears

Begging your pardon

What if a garbage

man was actually smart

A common misconception

That we're tearing apart

And to a dog

Dog food is just food

And to a sock A mansion's

just a big shoe (LAUGHS)

A Milk Dud

sitting in the acid rain

A house cat

addicted to the cocaine

No teeth, unlimited floss

These are just a few of

Our incredible thoughts

Incredible thoughts

AKON:
Oh, man, watching the Style

Boyz together onstage again was like.

I lived to see that. After that,

you know, take me away, I'm done.

Kid Contact, Kid Brain, and

Kid Conner all back together,

the motherfucking Style Boyz.

This is just some

revolutionary sh*t, man.

My heart is pounding right now.

A ballerina waits for the bus

A "number one dad"

trophy covered in rust

A nun dunked a basketball

Living the impossible

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