Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Page #5

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And they've managed to resist this

most primal of zombie urges how?

Their ironclad constitutions?

Yes, fortified by religious piety and pig's brains.

Which they receive in communion as the blood of Christ.

The pig's brains quench their apetite for human brains.

Ah, yes of course.

The crown's funds have been drained.

You are here to solicit money?

I'm here to propose a venture

that would end the war forever.

These new zombies can be reasoned with.

With the proper funding I believe

we can cultivate trust

and even good will with this new iteration of undead.

Who seem to possess an inherent

power over the lower ranks of their kind.

Zombie aristocrats?

I prefer to think of them

as souls lost in purgatory.

The common hordes look to them for leadership.

It takes just one of them to realize their

power and to lead their hordes into battle-

The undead are like locusts.

Locusts.

They go forth and destroy.

They have no use for leaders.

Oh, except one actually.

According to the Book of Revelation actually

the anti-christ shall lead the undead.

On the day that shall be the last day of mankind.

How cheery Collins.

Thank you Lady Catherine, Franklin

are there more scones?

- If we can negotiate with a select group of...

- Aristocrats?

- To what end?

- A treaty.

Appeasement?

Never.

Well then the human race is surely doomed.

Your ladyship the undead will always

multiply faster than the living and procreate.

Nine months to make a baby then 16 years

to make a soldier and one

raw second to make a zombie.

You must realize if they were to

organize we cannot defeat them.

The only hope is to find a way to coexist with them.

Before they find their anti-christ.

The late Mr. Darcy would have

supported such a venture.

I have tolerated your presence

here long enough, Wickham.

Guards!

Please do remember this moment.

And the opportunity you so glibly spurned.

The day of the zombie is already brokered.

Wake and face the light or slumber into oblivion.

Mr. Darcy, you are as unfeeling

as the undead.

My word. You give your opinion

very decidedly for so young a person.

Indeed Lady Catherine.

Well I would like to say how dutifully behaved

I think Lady Anne has been this morning.

A real credit to the crest actually.

Would you like a scone, dear?

I didn't mean to frighten you.

You didn't.

No, of course not.

Rosings is the safest place in England.

You see that's the problem.

I wish those feel invincible within their

great houses but how wrong they are.

Their hubris will be their downfall.

Downfall?

You act as if the undead have already defeated us.

I think you and I understand each other Elizabeth.

By the way you championed

me earlier, I thought.

Mr. Darcy's treatment of you

has been utterly despicable.

No more despicable than his

treatment of you and your family.

I don't understand you sir.

It was Darcy that persuaded Bingley to stay

clear of your sister and leave Netherfield.

Why?

Because he believe your

sister to be inferior to his friend.

Darcy also convinced Bingley that she was

after his fortune and doesn't really love him.

How could you possibly know this?

Men talk.

Darcy brags about it with his intimates.

Ms. Bennet, run away with me.

You have crossed a line, sir.

We're far beyond lines now, Ms. Bennet.

Take you to the pasture Ms. Bennetday of reckoning is upon us.

Charlotte?

Charlotte?

- Mr. Darcy.

- Ms. Bennet.

You've finally arisen. How fortuitous.

There are some words, I must say.

Please do be seated.

Ms. Bennet although I know many

consider you to be decidedly inferior.

As a matter of your birth, family and circumstances.

My feelings will not be repressed.

In vein, I struggled.

I've come to feel for you a most ardent

admiration and regard which

has overcome my better judgment.

So now I ask you most fervently to

end my turmoil and consent to be my wife.

If I could feel gratitude I would now thank you.

But I cannot.

I never desired your good opinion.

And you've certainly bestowed it most unwillingly.

Might I be informed why?

With so little endeavored civility I am rejected.

You intentionally ruined the

happiness of my most beloved sister.

- Do you deny it?

- I have no wish to deny it.

I did everything in my power to

separate my friend from your sister.

How could you?

(inaudible)

- I believed her to be indifferent.

- Indifferent? She's shy!

Did you suggest to Mr. Bingley that his

fortune had some bearing on the matter.

I wouldn't do your sister the dishonor

though it was suggested.

- By Ms. Bingley?!

- By your mother at the Ball.

Your character was reprehensible

What I don't understand his misfortunes are your hand.

Mr. Wickham's misfortunes

have been very great indeed.

You withheld the advantages that

you know would defriend him.

Is this your opinion of me?

Then I thank you for explaining it so fully.

You could not have made the offer of your hand

in any possible way that would've tempted me to accept it.

I have not known you a month.

Before I thought you were the last man in the

world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.

You've said quite enough madam.

I fully comprehend your feelings

now have only to be ashamed of what may happen.

Please forgive me. And accept my best

wishes for your health and happiness.

Heavens.

What happened, Lizzy?

This is an antique.

- Mr. Darcy

Mr. Darcy came out of the cottage?

This will need clearing up, Elizabeth.

Dear Miss Elizabeth Bennet,

I'm not writing to renew the sentiments

that were so disgusting to you.

But to address the 2 offenses you accuse me of.

I did not intentionally wound your sister.

It was a most unfortunate consequence

of protecting my dearest friend.

Mr. Bingley's feelings for Ms. Bennet

were beyond any I had ever witnessed in him.

Or indeed even thought incapable.

The evening of the dance at Netherfield,

after overhearing your mother

coldly stating her intention of having

all her daughters marry favorably

I persuaded Bingley of the unfitness of the match.

If I have wounded Ms. Bennet's feelings

it was unknowingly done.

As to your other accusation of

having injured Mr. Wickham.

No sooner had my father made clear his intention

to leave Mr. Wickham a handsome sum.

That Mr. Darcy was mysteriously infected by the plague.

It was left to me his son,

to provide a merciful ending.

Still I gave Wickham the

inheritance my father left.

Wickham squandered it.

Where upon he demanded more and more money.

Until I eventually refused.

Thereafter he severed all ties with me.

Last summer he began a relation-

ship with my 15 year old sister.

And convinced her to elope.

Mr. Wickham's prime target was her inheritance of 30,000 pounds.

But revenging himself on me was

a strong additional inducement.

Fortunately I was able to persuade my sister of

Mr. Wickham's ulterior motives before it was too late.

I hope this helps explain and perhaps mitigate my behavior in your eyes.

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