Private School Page #4

Nonsense.

Jordan loves all her new

mommies, and you're no exception.

Come on, what does little Bambi-wambi

say to the dreat big drowly bear?

I wove you.

No more baby talk!

Chauncey is watching.

Chauncey, drive!

Stand aside, young

man! Make way! Make way!

Dad, you remember my roommate, Jordan?

Very pleased to see

you again, Mr. Flugel.

Jordan, little Jordan.

You and Rita have been so close, I

just feel like a second Daddy to you.

Yes, ma'am. You just think of yourself

as Frank Flugel's little girl anytime.

Isn't that right, Rita?

Oh! Stop, Mr. Flugel!

Oh, what's going on here?

I'm giving Bubba another chance.

After what he did?

What the hell? Maybe you

should give Jim a break, too.

Come on, you didn't give up

those hotel reservations, did you?

See, look at it this way.

I'm gonna forgive Bubba.

Compared to Bubba, Jim's a saint.

Compared to Bubba, anybody's a saint.

Nice driving, Chauncey.

Oh, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, sir.

Come on, check it out!

I got this one.

Make way, gentlemen, please! We won't

be needing any assistance this afternoon!

Get out of the way!

Let me get it.

Don't touch the car, please.

Right.

Jordan. Daddy!

You are as beautiful as ever.

Oh, I want you to meet

Bambi, your new stepmother.

How do you do?

What happened to the last one, Mrs.

Lawrence Leigh-Jensen number seven?

Now, now, Jordan, let's not

behave like a cross child.

We're all here to have fun.

We wanna meet all your friends.

Oh, where is that lovely Miss Dutchbok

whom I've been corresponding with?

Mmm!

Yeah. Good.

Hey, sweetheart, what class are you in?

I'm not in any class.

I'm a teacher here.

Oh, so what do you teach?

Sex education.

What?

Sex education.

Sex education? That's

my favorite subject!

All right. Here, right here. Right here.

Here you go. Here you go.

Well, back, back, back,

back, I'll handle this now.

My dear, I need to

give you some help here.

Back up, back up.

Hmm?

I think she's gonna be all right.

I guess we should talk.

Nothing happened between

me and Jordan. I love you.

Hello!

Hello! Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!

Welcome. Welcome to Cherryvale.

I'm Miss Prudence Dutchbok.

Charmed.

And I've already guessed who you are.

Oh, yes, Jordan speaks of you ceaselessly.

She's so proud of her father,

and your kind letters and

continued support of Cherryvale.

I think you're a remarkable man.

Mademoiselle, you are far too kind.

Oh, I hope you'll allow me to give

you a personal tour of the school.

Well, I can think of nothing

that I would like better.

Oh, I know you're interested in

seeing the sights of the new wing.

Unfortunately, we...

It's been difficult raising funds

for the construction beginning, but...

Well, now, let's not

go another step further.

Oh, dear, I seem to have

left my checkbook in the car.

Would you mind accompanying me

back to the car, Miss Dutchbok?

Oh, I'd love it, and

please call me Prudence.

Very well, Prudence.

Oh!

I don't want to take up too much

of your time, Mr. Leigh-Jensen.

May I call you Mr. Leigh-Jensen?

If you wish.

I'm sure Jordan will

be anxious to see you.

She's probably wondering where you are.

Don't worry. No one is

gonna find us in here.

Try this.

Oh. Oh.

Oh! What are you doing?

Does it displease you? Dutchbok.

It doesn't displease me that much.

But do you suppose while you're doing that,

my darling, you could write that check?

Well, of course I could, darling.

Here, here, let me help

you with these buttons.

These buttons? Yes, they're so binding.

I wouldn't want anything to bind you.

I'll take care of the buttons,

you take care of the check.

As you wish, dearest.

Damn. What is it?

I've dropped my pen.

Oh, I'll get it... Oh!

Forgive me, Prudence.

A rash impulse. I couldn't resist.

No need to apologize.

The check, dearest?

Oh, yes, yes, of course. Damn!

The pen? No, no, the check.

I've dropped the check.

Well, let me. Oh, oh, stop that!

Stop! Don't! Stop! Stop! Don't!

Oh, my God, use both hands!

But I need one to write the check.

Oh, forget the goddamn

check! Use both hands!

Do you like it like this? Oh, yes!

Yes! Don't be so gentle!

How about this? Yes! Yes!

And this? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Wait a minute. Something

strange is happening here.

There's nothing strange about two people

trying to give each other pleasure,

no matter how bizarre the means. I know!

And by the way, if you're turned on

to rubber garments, I happen to have...

Oh, shut up, you fool!

Our voices! It's almost

as if they're amplified!

Oh, you, miserable...

You, you bit me!

I didn't like you at first,

and I don't like you now!

Wait! Wait!

You bad, bad, bad boy! Let me out!

What do you want me to do? I don't care!

You can't do a damn thing!

Never, never, never, never, never!

Let the boy go!

I never liked you, either!

Holy sh*t.

Whose car is this?

Hey, Bubba!

Bubba?

Home, take me home!

Was that my car?

What did I do? You hit

the emergency brake!

I'm sorry. Get your

paws off my derrire.

Hey, hey. Hey.

How's it going?

Okay, you two, have a really great

time. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Right.

Blow in her ear. It

really gets broads hot.

Thanks for the advice, Bubba.

Pinch her b*obs. It'll drive her crazy.

Great. I don't know

what I'd do without you.

Bye.

Okay, read me the

current spread. Let's see.

All right. The odds against you

getting her into the dorm are 2-to-1.

Now, if you do get her there,

the odds against you getting any

of her clothes off are 4-to-1.

It's 7-to-1 against

you getting her top off.

Piece of cake, Roy, piece of cake.

But it's 9-to-1 against you

getting any actual bare tit!

It's 12-to-1 against you

getting down to her panties.

And 15-to-1 against you

getting her mother-ass naked.

22-to-1 against you scoring

in any way, shape or form!

Yee-haw!

I'm gonna be rich!

Hello, can I speak to

Jordan Leigh-Jensen, please?

Hello, Jordan? This is Bubba.

Nice place.

Yeah, nice.

How long ago did you say

your parents stayed here?

Twenty-three years

ago, on their honeymoon.

May I help you?

I'm the graphic designer.

Excuse me?

I called you on the phone.

I made a reservation on

the phone. Do you remember?

And what name did you give?

Well, what name do you have?

Excuse me?

What I believe my wife is trying to say

is that she telephoned about a week ago.

The name is Green.

Green. Green. No, no, I'm

afraid I have no Mr. Green.

It might be under Ramsay.

Ramsay, Ramsay, Ramsay.

Or possibly Jones.

Jones, Jones. Ah, yes, here we

are. Mr. and Mrs. Rams-Jones.

The honeymoon suite.

There's late-night

entertainment in our piano bar.

Of course, you have your world

famous sunsets on the D'Amour beach.

And for a slight additional charge,

the Jacuzzi and the tennis courts.

Well, here we are.

Is this the honeymoon suite?

They're all honeymoon

suites since the remodeling.

And I hope that you

have a pleasant stay.

Thank you. Thank you.

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