Problem Child 2 Page #3

What?

There's two more outside.

- Dad, what are you doing here?

- I thought I'd spend my vacation with you.

- Excuse me?

- How did he find us?

You rascal. I even brought Nippy.

Hey, boy. Come here, Nip.

Get this freak off me! Get!

Don't scare him, for God's sakes.

He's only trying to be friendly.

- You know this dog is unbalanced.

- Get him out of here.

Nippy, stay.

What is going on here?

You never take vacations, and if you did

you wouldn't spend them with me.

Little Ben.

Little Ben, you're my only son.

- Dad, you hate me.

- OK, you figured me out.

- I'm not on vacation, I'm broke.

- You're what?

Chapter 11, my S and L crashed,

my creditors are after me.

- I gotta find a place to hide out.

- Why don't you hide out somewhere else?

Why don't you mind your own business?

Nobody asked you.

Wait, you can't be broke, we saw you on TV.

That was a big rip-off.

There were no franchises.

Hell, I only sold one starter kit.

I gotta find a place to lay low until

this whole godforsaken thing blows over.

Come on, Little Ben.

Do your old man a favour.

All those years I spent

putting a roof over your head.

I even bribed that dean

to keep you in college, remember?

You know something? You owe me.

This room is a little small.

Well, it's all we've got.

You can sleep in one of the bunk-beds.

Or you can leave.

No, it'll do.

But I get the top bunk.

Finally!

Some educators

underestimate the value of civics,

but I say, for the growing mind,

there's nothing more important

than pride in your city.

This is Highway 39.

This is the Mortville Steel Mill.

And this is Mortville's very own Love Rock.

When the Dumore family settled this region,

they stole it from the Indians.

The Indians claim the rock has magic powers.

What kind of magic?

I don't know. Love magic, I guess.

You make a wish and it comes true,

at least that's what they tell the tourists.

Can I get a drink of water?

Yes, you may, but hurry back.

I've got a great slide

of the Rotary Club coming straight up.

Hey, pumpkin-head.

You're gonna wish you never said that.

Oh, yeah?

So, what exactly happened?

I was using the fire hose.

Aha. And why were you doing this?

I told you, a fire had broken out

and I was trying to save the school.

Junior, what happened?

Your son saved the school. He put out a fire.

Did anyone ask him how it started? Because...

- I'm so sorry, that's very clumsy of me.

- That's OK.

Listen...

If Junior seems a little troublesome lately,

I wouldn't worry about it.

He really hasn't made any friends here yet

so he's probably a little insecure.

Boy, you really know kids.

Junior and I were gonna get dinner later

and I thought maybe if you didn't have

any plans that you'd... care to join us.

No, I can't.

Oh, well...

Maybe you and I

could do something Friday night?

I'd like to, but no.

- Saturday?

- No, not any night.

- I've got a problem.

- Excuse me?

- I can't go out with anyone.

- What if we just had dinner...

Dad! Didn't you hear the lady?

She's got a problem.

- Quit buggin' her and let's get out of here.

- Well, I... We'd better go.

Anyway, it was nice talking to you,

Miss Young.

Annie.

It was nice talking to you, too, Ben.

And Junior.

"Can we go out on Friday night?

On Saturday night?"

"How about Sunday night?"

What's Dad's problem?

Doesn't he have any pride?

Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade!

Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade!

I'll have some lemonade.

Certainly, that'll be two dollars.

I've only got a quarter.

Then I guess you're going thirsty, loser.

Dolly, there's no more lemonade.

Go back and fill it up.

I'm not gonna fill it up. Why don't you fill it up?

I'm not gonna fill it up. Why don't you fill it up?

Junior, why don't you go back and fill it up?

If you do the work,

we might give you a free glass.

OK. I'll go fill it up.

There you go, friends.

You only filled it halfway.

I tried my best.

That's not good enough.

For that, you don't get your free glass.

That's OK by me.

Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade!

Boy, oh, boy. It sure is hot.

I'm workin' up quite a sweat out here.

Dolly, Madison, how about

a glass of lemonade, huh?

Certainly. That'll be two dollars.

Two dollars?

For a glass of lemonade? For me?

Friggin' brats.

Two dollars.

All right, here you go.

Tangy.

Dad, what do you want for dinner?

- Macaroni and cheese or fish sticks?

- I'd love to have the fish sticks.

- But I got other plans.

- But I was making us dinner.

I can see that, but I'm going out

with Emily from down the street.

Am I gonna get another babysitter?

No, don't be silly. No more babysitters for you.

We got something better, Grandpa.

Stick him, stick him.

They don't make fighters like they used to.

No more. Nobody's hungry any more.

See?

Dad, don't go out on another date.

You already had one.

It didn't work out. How can I find us

a new mom if I don't keep looking?

We don't need a new mom. Things were great

when it was just you and me.

I mean, we already got stuck with him.

Junior, I am going out on a date tonight, OK?

I'm gonna get cleaned up.

Let me know if you hear the doorbell.

Don't worry. You'll hear it.

I never met a girl who makes me feel

The way that you do

You're all right

Whenever I'm asked

Who makes my dreams real

I say that you do

You're outta sight

So, fee-fi-fo-fum

Look out, baby, 'cause here I come

And I'm bringing you a love that's true

So get ready

So get ready

I'm gonna try and make you love me too

So get ready

So get ready

'Cause here I come

Get ready

'Cause here I come

I'm on my way

OK, girls.

We've got work to do.

- Argh!

- Ben.

I'm sorry, I'm suddenly not feeling very well.

I think I just caught that flu

that's been going around.

OK?

So the little monster

screwed you over again, huh?

Maybe I was too strong with him.

Ever since I started dating these women,

he's become so insecure.

Insecure?

Little Ben, he's paranoid, he's jealous.

And he is dangerous.

What are you saying?

I'm saying leave him

by the side of the road and run.

That's a cop-out.

The boy wants to know he's loved.

I'm sure if I devote more time to him,

he'll be better.

Finally, Dad gets the point. Goodbye, ladiesl

Hey, dog-face.

I knew you'd look!

No running in the hall!

Oh, darn!

Na-na-na-na-na.

You can't come in here!

The b*tch must diel

Oh, shoot. She tricked me again.

I wish I had half the brains she does.

Well, there's always tomorrow.

That guy's pathetic.

You're gonna wish you'd never been born.

Ooh, I'm really scared! I'm being

threatened by the Ty-D-Bowl Girl.

Now, why have you been bugging me?

I'll bug whoever I want. This is my school.

- Says who?

- Me and my M-80.

You're insane.

Let's get out of here!

Just outta school

Like I'm real real cool

Gotta dance like a fool

Got the message that I gotta be

A wild one...

Out of my way!

I can't hold this one until recess.

This is gonna feel so good.

Clearance sale! Big clearance sale!

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