Project X Page #3

- Yeah.

- These are my boys, J.B. And Thomas.

- Hi.

All right, yeah, yeah.

Come on in, come on in.

Oh, yeah, that was a 12-millimeter

semi-automatic Mossberg Maverick.

- I'd love to go to the range with you.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.

Going on the range,

get it all out of your system.

Pretend you're killing cops, if you want.

You're beautiful

You're beautiful, it's true

I saw your face

In a crowded place

All right, well, I'll get your stuff.

Here, stoke up the fires, buddy.

Oh, man, you the man.

F***, yeah, T-Rick.

Yeah, kick ass with that.

Hey, can we get going?

Costa, come sit down, dude.

He's about to f***ing...

Check it out.

What are you doing?

F***ing stop.

That's technically a homosexual act.

I'm coming on Santa Claus's face.

Costa, he's coming back.

- Dax, take it, take it.

- What the f*** are you doing?

Dude, are you stealing it?

No, we're just borrowing it.

We need a f***ing mascot for the party.

Jesus Christ.

Here you go.

Let's do this, I gotta be at the dojo by 5.

- Absolutely.

- Cool.

See, I told you guys,

T- Rick's just a sweetheart. Mm.

Smell it, J.B.

- You little f***ing cocksuckers!

- Oh, f***!

- Give me back my f***ing gnome!

- F***!

Give him the gnome back.

Give him the f***ing gnome back.

No, f*** that! Just go.

Get out of here!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, f***!

Holy sh*t, Thomas, he's f***ing wild!

He's a f***ing crazy man!

Holy sh*t! He's gone! He fell off!

- Holy sh*t, man!

- Holy sh*t!

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

That's my boy Tom! That was

some serious f***ing sh*t right there!

What in the f***ing world?

F***. Sh*t.

Oh, my God.

Sh*t.

God, dude,

he f***ing cracked my windshield.

F*** it, my cousin owns a body shop.

He can fix it, no problem, man.

The kung fu no good here.

- Oh, f***! Holy sh*t!

- Give me back my gnome!

Holy sh*t!

Guy's like the f***ing Terminator! Jesus!

- No, he was super pissed though.

- Dude scares the sh*t out of me.

Hey, boss.

What the f***?

There he is.

This is Everett and his boy Tyler.

They're running security for the night.

Are you serious? Are those nunchucks?

- Yeah.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Look like ninjas.

- Ninjas are f***ing pussies!

- I love this kid.

- You know it.

With these two,

we got nothing to worry about.

- We're outside the Kub house.

- Hey.

- We have bogeys.

- What up, Costa?

Do I know you guys?

We heard about your shindig tonight.

We want in.

- You freshmen?

- Yeah.

- Get the f*** out of here, man.

- Come on, dude.

Are you still talking?

Get the f*** out of here.

Dick!

J.B., drop those bags.

We got work to do.

Hi. Good evening, Mrs. Stillson.

My name's Oliver.

This is my friend Jonathan.

- And we're both friends of Thomas Kub's.

- Oh.

Yeah, we're hosting a little birthday party

for Thomas.

And we wanted to give you

the courtesy of informing you...

...that there'd possibly be

a bit of party-related noise.

I wanted to give you my number

in case you had problems or concerns.

You're a very beautiful woman.

Call me anytime you want.

- Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

- I mean that when I say that.

You are very beautiful.

A little party for Thomas. He lives there.

Am I invited?

- Yeah, dude, fine. Yeah, you can come by.

- Nice.

Thank you very much.

Have a good time at your party.

Thank you, I appreciate this.

Come by anytime you want.

- All right, see you.

- All right.

- Bye, baby.

- See you guys.

DJ's over there.

Cool.

- Um, got the bar set up over here.

- Nice.

- Karaoke in the pool house.

- Nice.

Holy sh*t, dude!

Where'd you get a bouncy-house?

- Costa hooked it up.

- You know it, baby.

Fifty bucks extra with the port-a-potty.

And they threw these in for free.

Nice touch.

Why not? It's a birthday party.

You wanna help? Do something.

- Hey, Chubs, grab your twin brother there.

- F***ing dick.

- Hey, dudes, check it out.

- Yeah, like that's gonna work.

Yes, it is gonna work. Next time

your pool guy's here, he'll be like:

"Excuse me, Mr. Kub. I seem

to have found some water in your semen. "

That's f***ing disgusting.

J.B., I thought I told you to pick up ice.

I did. It's in the freezer in the garage.

- What the f*** are you doing?

- Getting in shape for the party.

- The party's in three hours.

- It's mostly water weight.

- Wrestlers do it all the time.

- Wrestlers also wrestle all the time.

- Crank this thing up.

- No.

It's not gonna work

unless you crank it up.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

- Let's go, come on.

- Dax. Dax, help me.

- No, Dax, you're here to observe.

- Help me! Dax! Aah!

Jesus Christ! Are you all right, dude?

Oh, my God, J.B., are you all right?

An hour from now,

this place is a f***ing madhouse.

Not a madhouse, just gonna be a fun,

decent-sized party.

Relax. For you. You.

Me. Dax.

Thank you, I don't drink alcohol.

Okay, f*ggot.

- To one sick f***ing night.

- Cheers.

Come on over, over

Sh*t! Come on!

Yes. How are you so f***ing bad

at this game, Costa?

Shut up, Kirby.

You're killing my concentration right now.

Ha, ha! Thomas, come here!

F***er!

I'm kicking Costa's ass!

Oh, watch this.

Sh*t!

It looks like I win.

- F*** you.

- You guys, it's like 9:20 already.

Dude, relax.

People are gonna show up. I promise, bro.

- Getting late.

- I'll look like such a dick if no one shows.

Shut the f*** up. It's pissing me off that

you don't trust me to know what I'm doing.

I'm the hub of a large social circle.

I put the word out, it goes out.

Okay, cool.

- Oh, sh*t.

- What the f*** are you wearing?

My God.

Nice.

- You're gonna get laid, dude.

- Ladies love a guy with class.

Are you retarded?

Jesus Christ, man.

Where do you even get sh*t like that?

- Men's Wearhouse.

- Men's Wearhouse? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What is it?

Wow, dude, this is f***ing...

I can't believe it f***ing worked.

What did I say?

Don't doubt the master, b*tches!

Dude, we done good.

Jesus, all those chicks are really hot.

They're coming in packs.

This is insane.

Beat it, I bet she let me

She been fiendin'since she met me

I'm the coolest sh*t

Especially when I throw on all my Gretzky

Got my Smith and Wessie to protect me

So respect me

What up, baby girl?

Andretti on Pirelli

Make a movie out the getty

Where my ring and my confetti?

I'm Kobe Bryant ready

Pink ros and chronic smelly

Dude, this is way more than 50 people.

Of course it is, it's plus-one.

That's f***ing Alexis, dude.

She came, man.

Damn, dude.

Whoa.

Thomas, this is your party,

and she's the hottest girl here.

- That better be yours tonight.

- Damn.

White trash party

Pull a fifth of Bacardi from out of my underwear

And walk around the party without a care

- Where the f*** is your drink, Thomas?

- I'm between beverages.

What the f*** does that even mean?

J.B., get this b*tch a drink.

Yeah, all right.

Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy

Who's that dude with the mustache?

Oh, that's LaRosa. He graduated.

When, in 1986?

Hey, will you at least try

and have a good time?

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