Project X Page #4

Whoo!

Got it? You tie it?

He's good. Ready to go.

Blast off.

Pennies up at skinnies

Man, I do this for them bunnies

That is not f***ing cool.

Oh, my God, it's a flying dog!

'Cause, homey

That hood is tighter than Kenny's

It's just like Up.

It's my f***ing dog.

I gotta record this.

Are you serious right now?

- F*** this, I'm putting him inside.

- Let me help you.

Hey.

Can you imagine

if your mom ever saw that?

It's my f***ing dog.

Poor Milo.

I don't know. It's pretty funny.

- Maybe I'll post it on YouTube.

- No, don't, don't, don't.

Seriously, stop. Stop.

Come on, you're way too easy. I love it.

I hate you.

You'll be okay, Milo. I promise.

All right, well, um,

we better get back out there.

Hey, yo, Kub. Hey, yo, what up, dog?

Yo, what's up, bro?

Let me see what you got

Now shake that thing

- Hey, man, what's up?

- Nice party, man.

Hey, thanks. Would you guys mind

getting off my dad's car?

It's just he'll go crazy

if anything happens to it.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- All right.

- Thanks, man, I appreciate it.

- Yeah, no problem.

Thomas! You're taking a bullet

from me right now.

- What is that?

- Tequila. Just f***ing take it.

- All right. F***, dude.

- Come here. Come on.

Ladies, who wants to take a shot

with the birthday boy?

- Hell, yeah.

- Whoa, uh... Oh.

Careful.

She's a professional. Open up.

Take it. Oh, my God,

she's got a deep throat.

- Okay, open up, open up. Now.

- Yeah!

Say what

B*tch, I'm about to blow up

Pardon? Oh, hey.

Hey.

- What's up, guys?

- Well, we did it.

This is amazing. How did we get

all these people to show up?

Check it out, guys.

I'm pretty sure it's that girl from Playboy.

Who?

Oh, my God, it is her.

She graduated three years ago.

She's in Playboy's Pac-10 issue.

- Dibs.

- Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

Well, I want to declare it, just in case.

- Whoa.

- Oh, sh*t.

We're f***ed!

What? Oh, hey, what's going on?

- There's people in the house!

- Oh, sh*t.

- Hey, Costa.

- I'm understaffed.

- Come on, I need your f***ing help, man.

- Goddamn it.

Wow. Whoa.

Hey. Hey, hi. Hi. Welcome.

Welcome to party. Welcome, welcome.

- Yo!

- Miles!

Little dude. What's up, man?

How we doing?

- That's Ashley, Rachel, Sarah.

- Hi, hi.

I brought all these people to your party.

F***ing camera creeps me out.

- Yeah, it's... Don't worry.

- Let's go.

I'm talking about the f***ing people

in the house.

My parents are gonna crucify me

if anything gets f***ed up.

I don't care if everyone thinks I'm a dick.

I'm getting them out of the house. Now.

F***, hey, stop, seriously.

Dude, what the f*** are you doing?

- Please don't embarrass me like this.

- Hey, listen up!

Yeah, Thomas! Whoo!

Yeah, bro! Birthday boy on the table!

That's what I like to see, baby.

- You having a good time?

- Yeah.

Come on, guys, let's start making

some drinks. Let's get crazy in this b*tch.

Can I help you, sir?

- I'm here to see Thomas.

- First and last name, please.

I'm Rob, the neighbor.

Who the f*** are you?

- I'll ask the questions, sir.

- Exactly. Get the hell out of my way.

- Rob, hey. What can I do for you, man?

- Hey.

Look, man, I don't mean to be

a dick here or anything.

Oliver came over earlier and told me

you guys were having a little party...

...but this is too much.

Yeah, we actually should be winding down,

like midnight, I mean, maybe 1.

- Is that okay?

- No, it's not.

The baby can't sleep,

Melinda works early tomorrow.

F***, yeah!

My boy Rob is here to rage! Mwah!

- Good to see you.

- Actually, I'm not raging.

I'm telling Thomas

it's time to shut it down.

You can't be serious.

This is a great party.

I am serious, because it's 11:30 at night.

It's time to wrap it up.

Hey, hey, hey.

Why don't we bring everyone to the back,

lower the volume?

Guys, this isn't a request.

The party's over.

I guess we're just gonna have to

agree to disagree, then, aren't we?

Listen to me, Thomas.

Either shut it down or I'm calling the cops.

Ahh.

Fine. F*** it.

I'm calling the f***ing cops... Aah!

F***!

Oh, sh*t!

Jesus f***ing Christ!

What'd you do that for?

Are you kidding me?

I will f***ing kill you!

The little f*** Tased me!

I'm definitely calling the cops now!

You punched a kid in the face!

I'm calling the cops on you.

Do it, genius. It's all on tape.

I just saw this motherf***er record it.

All I got was you punching

that little child's face.

F*** you.

Go home, Robert!

It was just a kid, man!

- Are you all right, man?

- Is he okay?

You're a f***ing champion.

He sucker-punched you.

You'd own that b*tch in a real fight.

- You think so?

- I know so.

F*** that a**hole. You're killing it, bro.

- Yo, Costa, what's up?

- Yo, go in the back.

I need you to dial back like 10, 15 percent.

You can't hard-charge all the time.

All right? And lose the Taser, okay?

- Got it.

- Get down here.

We need a post

up at the cockbiter's house.

If he calls the cops,

I want you to radio it over to me, okay?

Get out of here. Go.

Alexis was eye-f***ing you,

and you got college girls on your dick.

- You're golden!

- Dude, I'm so f***ed.

- Relax, man, everything's going great.

- Sh*t.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Didn't I tell you two to f*** off?

- Get down here now.

- Come on, there's like 200 people here.

I don't care.

T, get these freshmen out of here.

This is a party for grownups.

Let's f***ing go.

Makes no sense.

This kid's younger than we are.

- How the hell did they get up there?

- Move it, fellas.

- You too, get out of here.

- That's my boy. That's my boy.

See, the kid's a pro.

We got nothing to worry about.

Dude, you heard Rob, man.

What if he calls the cops?

The guy isn't gonna do sh*t.

He punched a 12-year-old in the face.

Thomas, everything's under control.

Let's just have some fun.

I got this, okay?

Cannonball, b*tches!

I don't care for fancy things

Or to take part in the vicious race

This is the Thomas Kub pool cam.

Dude, check it out. Check it out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, read the sign, honey.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Ray-Ban vision, these ain't no prescription

No f***ing way.

Dude, go over there.

Do you f***ing believe this?

In this, feelin' tremendous

Lenses darker than the tint on my Benzes

Yeah! Ha, ha!

Whoo-hoo!

- Oh, my God!

- Holy sh*t! F***ing insane!

Oh, my God.

Dude, that sign f***ing worked.

You gotta have faith, son.

Would you like a glass of wine?

We've got red, we've got white.

You know, Cabernet, Merlot.

Just another beer would be great.

Uh...

Here we are.

Whoa.

Wow. Okay.

J.B!

How did this thing get up here?

Was someone in my parents' room?

It's a gnome. I guess he gets around.

Who cares, man?

Well, I just don't want people up here.

Besides, it's creepy. Look at him.

- J.B., what are you looking for?

- To see if your dad has condoms.

I'm working on something.

Only thing you're working on

is diabetes, you fat f***.

- Oh, dude, Alexis just texted me.

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