Puccini for Beginners Page #4

- Well, that whole story...

Counter Reformation cautionary tale

about what happens when you exceed

the boundaries that God sets for men.

- Too much sex and you go up in flames.

- Exactly, exactly.

I don't believe this.

University of Chicago offered me a job.

It did?

- Starting next semester.

- That's great!

I would be leaving New York.

I don't know if I wanna leave.

Come on, Philip, that's great news!

Just...tell me about it.

They're interested in

a interdisciplinary approach

to late 18th Century philosophical discourse

You know, problems of...

I was with women

for a long time too.

And look at me now.

I'm happy.

Granted, I lost ten of out twenty

friends, but that's another story...

Sexual identity is like

a totally outmoded concept.

It doesn't even exist.

It's totally cool to blur all these

old-fashioned cathegories.

Bi's in, anyway.

Don't knock it till you rock it.

A lesbian with a boyfriend

is a contradiction.

And...you ordered the salad.

Something wrong with your food?

Yeah. I don't know why

I ordered a salad. I don't...

want a salad. I want a steak,

I want what you have.

- OK. We order a steak.

- It's too late now...

I have a salad. Damn!

No, order a steak then.

- Waiter!

- No, no, Philip, nevermind.

What do you mean?

It's not a problem.

Yeah, it is a problem.

It's a big problem.

Going from salad to steak and back

isn't as easy as it seems.

What?

I have to get out of here.

What's wrong with you?

I've got to get out of here.

OK, all right, let me get you a cab.

Philip, when a woman says

she has to leave a restaurant,

you have to let her leave.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Philip. Hi. It's me, it's Allegra.

I'm just calling to apologize

for walking out on you...

I didn't...mean...I just...

I feel like I need a little space.

I'll call you tomorrow, OK?

Hi.

Remember me?

You made it!

- A blow partner?

- Yeah.

And this is the glory hole.

Come on. The glory hole?

You're kidding me, right?

You know what that is?

Of course I know what it is.

I wasn't born yesterday.

Glory hole...I like it.

Good stuff. What else

you've got going on here?

Here, I made this.

You did? Wow!

Paperweight.

Really, really beautiful.

So, why did you come here tonight?

I've never been to a glass

blowing studio before.

And you invited me.

Well, I gave you my number.

That's usually an invitation to call

and then, after the call, you move on

to the next possible invitation.

The next possible invitation?

Listen, you want a ride home?

I have a car.

Usually you leave those things in the car.

It was so expensive,

I was afraid someone might steal it.

- I could have sworn I left it right here.

- Here?

Yeah.

There's a lot of glass here.

You want me to go with you

to file a police report?

No, let him suffer.

The car wasn't in my name.

You want me to walk you

home or something?

You know what, Grace?

You're so attractive.

I really, really like you.

You're gonna brush me off now, right?

No, Grace. I'm kind in a

complicated situation...

Why did you come and see me tonight?

So, you don't wanna sleep with me.

I do.

I totally do.

But my life is...

I just humiliated myself

trying to kiss a virtual stranger,

my boyfriend just walked out on me,

and my car just got stolen!

I'm not that desperate.

Wait.

What?

Oh God, that was so great!

Usually it takes me such a long time,

but this time it was like...

- Thank you!

- You're welcome.

I knew when I met you that

something sparkly was happening.

I thought so too, but...

Sweetie, what is it?

What is wrong?

No, it's not you it's just...

sex is so great

but it's sad too, you know?

It just brings up so many emotions.

- You know what I mean?

- I know.

Are you gonna call me?

Of course I'm gonna call you!

Are you gonna call me?

If you call me.

Well, I'm gonna call you.

- And then I'll call you.

- Good, I'm glad we got that out.

When you're gonna call me?

I can't decide, I can't decide...

Italian or sushi, what do you want?

I'm easy...

Or maybe we should get Thai.

OK, there's a place in Brooklyn

that looks really good.

Philip, what are your

thoughts on non-monogamy?

You're trying to tell me that you slept

with somebody else last night?

No.

Are you trying to tell me that you

want to sleep with somebody else?

No.

Do you want me to want you

to sleep with other people?

You mean like a three-way

type of thing?

The straight man fantasy,

two chicks and a dude?

- OK. Sounds good.

- No!

OK, wait.

I like you, OK?

I like you too. It's just...weird.

The guy thing or the like thing?

Both.

Yeah, let's get Thai food.

Grace, Tuesday's perfect. Hold on.

Philip...hi.

You're squishing my face!

What's this?

An old friend of mine...

Good. Let's use it.

Wow. I can't believe

last night with Grace...

I'm seeing Philip this afternoon...

This is crazy...

Yeah, who says you can't have it all?

I've got Petit Billy, which is cheese

and mixed olives.

This reminds me having lunch

with my father.

That was so much food yesterday.

Hold on a sec, that's my other line.

Hi Grace!

- Hello.

- Hey, it's me.

Can I call you later?

You got together with Philip

as a way to get back at Samantha,

and then, when your emotions got

too strong, you found Grace

so you could project your conflict,

and who so conveniently was

breaking up with her boyfriend

making her another

unavailable love object,

which, of course, confirms your deep

cinism about relationships in general,

and keeps you from confronting

your real problem,

which is how to be yourself.

Jesus Christ, Nell!

All I did was ask you what you

wanna have for lunch...

Wendy's.

You're saying you don't care

if I sleep with someone else?

Yeah, I care very much.

But sexuality is a grey area, isn't it?

Desire isn't controlable,

which by its very nature it isn't,

and wouldn't be possible

for a person to sleep...?

Red.

- Red?

- Yeah.

Remember you told me an S&&M

can't use the word "no"...

or "stop" because it ruins the sex,

so you choose a color as the code word?

I told you that?

Yes, so that's all I have to say: "red".

Red.

Next stop will be

42nd Street/Times Square Station.

Change for the N, R, shuttle trains

and connections to Port Authority.

Hey girl! You! Yeah, you! The one

with the girlfriend and the boyfriend.

You can't keep running

here and running there,

first her, then him,

back and forth like a crazy person!

Uptown...Downtown...

morning, noon, and night,

trying to keep your story straight...

D'hell knows what's going on?

And here you are,

dashing on the damn train again.

I mean, what the hell is that?

Next stop will be Times Square Station.

Don't you feel like you should tell them?

I think if I were her, I'd wanna know...

No, you wouldn't.

I guess he won't be too mad,

since you're seeing another woman,

and not another man...

No, for sure. That's very "guy".

Look. I like them both.

I don't want to explain myself,

I'm incredibly happy.

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