Puerto Ricans in Paris Page #2

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It's just between the kids and the

bills there's not much left ever.

So when I realized it

was our anniversary today,

I was just hoping it would

sort of go away... I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Maybe next year

we'll do something.

Stay tuned, because X

Factor will be right back.

So you just went

by yourself?

I wasn't gonna

waste those tickets.

Gloria still hasn't responded

to any of my texts, man.

My sister,

she can hold a grudge.

She's still mad at me for wearing

sneakers to her quinceaera.

Yo. Sarge wants to see you

two in her office, ASAP.

She probably wants to fire you for

wearing that dumbass T-shirt to work.

So, you guys are French.

Technically, I did meet my first husband

at the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas.

Also where I met

my second husband. Yeah.

Gentlemen.

Meet Colette and Vincent.

They have come

all the way from Paris

just to talk to you

two boricuas.

I won't take up

any more of their time.

Sure I can't get you anything? Coffee,

tea, hot croissant from Au Bon Pain?

No, we're fine. Thank you.

Suit yourself.

"Au revoir."

Au revoir.

Mr. Garcia,

Mr. Lopez,

my name is Vincent Gravois and this

is my associate, Colette Desrosiers.

I'm the CEO of LuxeLife Holding.

You may be familiar with us?

Of course. You own all those bag

companies they bootleg on Canal Street.

We have saved you

so much money over the years.

And we are very grateful.

That's why we are here.

Well, I'm a 48/36 if you want to hook

me up with a suit as a thank you.

Thirty-six?

When, 10 years ago?

Bro, I'm off the gluten.

I'm spinning three times a week.

Have you even seen me with my

shirt off lately? Have you?

You ate pancakes

this morning.

Bro, gluten-free pancakes.

Colette here happens to make the most

beautiful handbags in the world.

For years, girls have lined up

outside her atelier to buy them.

I could never find a bag I liked,

so I decided to make them myself.

And then my friends

started asking for them,

and friends of my friends,

and the next thing you know.

That is so sweet.

LuxeLife came aboard to help

people outside Paris get Colette.

For her next bag, we've

coordinated a global roll out

around the most exclusive

retail outlets.

Barneys. Saks.

No pressure or anything.

But last week,

we received this.

Okay. That's a picture

of a bag and...

That's a lot of words in

French I do not know.

Not just a bag.

That's the bag.

The center

of our campaign.

At this time, there are only two in

the world. And one has been stolen.

This is a ransom note.

It says unless LuxeLife Holdings

pays one million euros by Friday,

they are going to flood the market with

bootlegs before the real one hit retail.

And we'd lose millions.

So what do you want with us?

We want you to go to Paris

to consult on our investigation.

French cops are too slow. I

lived in New York for 10 years.

We need the best.

We've already checked with your sergeant

and you have the vacation days.

As great as that sounds,

I don't think my wife will be into me spending

my vacation days in Paris without her.

Yeah, plus the French

are kinda pricks, you know.

But y'all seem really cool.

We are prepared to reward you

each with 150,000 US dollar

if you recover

the stolen bag.

Hey. Thank you.

Can you believe this place?

Yo, yo.

How are you?

Hey, mama, can I get a...

A... a... Yeah, there we go.

Got a light?

Yeah.

You girls go to a club,

a little spot around here?

- No?

- Non, non.

Since when do you smoke?

It's Paris, baby. The cigarettes

are healthier. Google that sh*t.

Yo, bro, they took our luggage.

Let's go.

Man,

look at this place.

I feel like I hit lotto

with this.

Sh*t.

I'm up a horse!

Yo, my man, can you hook me

up with some conditioner,

coconut version?

Some body wash with aloe

and toothpaste for whitening?

And, bro,

I love those slippers.

Can you get me one for every day of

the week? I got bad feet, all right?

And, listen, I'm sorry.

I gotta change my money into euros.

So I'll hook you up later. Cool?

My man!

Love that attitude!

What a great guy, man.

Check this out.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Is that gonna

keep you up, Eddie?

You know, Gloria's wanted to come to Paris

ever since we saw Ratatouille, man.

She barely even said a word

to me before I left, bro.

We find that bag,

that's a 150 G's.

- For that kinda money, she'll forgive even you, right?

- Right.

Come on, man. Get your head into the game.

Let's find the bag.

Otherwise, Gloria's gonna leave you for

Anthony's orthodontist. You don't want that.

No. Hell, no.

I'm gonna go freshen up

before our meeting.

Why, bro?

It's just Colette.

Damn. Homegirl

cleaned up nice.

Hey, guys. How was your flight?

You guys get in okay?

It was great. Hotel's great.

Everything's great.

Yeah, you look

great too.

Thank you.

Did you do something with your hair?

You look very chic.

Actually, I haven't washed it since I

saw you in New York, but I'll take it.

God, I love this hotel. You guys

are lucky my bosses are rich.

My wife couldn't believe it when I

told her where we were staying.

You should have brought her.

It's a bit of

a sore subject.

What about you, Colette?

You married?

You got a boyfriend?

You looking for

something casual maybe?

A bit of

a sore subject too.

I just broke up

with a girl last week.

I'm sorry, but you look

so familiar to me.

Do I know you

from somewhere else?

I don't think so.

He looks like the guy

from the Quiznos commercials.

He gets that a lot.

No, it's not that.

Where do you spend

your holidays in the summer?

Sometimes go swimming at Brighton

Beach, but I doubt you saw me there.

-Is that in the Hamptons?

-Nah.

No? -Okay, can we talk

about the missing bag?

Yes. The bag. Yeah.

It went missing last week.

Four people have access

to my studio.

Since there's no break-in,

Vincent thinks it's one of them.

So there's Ludivine,

my senior designer.

I gave her her first job

right out of design school.

She's very talented.

But sometimes I get the feeling

she resents my success.

Then there's Francesca,

my publicist.

She's the best in the business.

Which means, I trust her about

as far as I can throw her.

Garon?

Then there's

my dear friend, Kate.

We met modeling as teenagers.

She was very successful until she

had a little meltdown last summer.

She hasn't landed

a major campaign since.

Yet, somehow, she purchased a

vineyard in the south of France

that she can't possibly afford.

And finally,

there's my ex-husband, Jerome.

He used to be our

in-house photographer.

Since he stopped shooting for us,

he's been a little hard up for money.

When I sold my business to Vincent,

he started getting a little insecure.

And then I found out

his 19-year-old assistant

was giving him more

than a hand in the darkroom.

So, that's everyone. And I can't believe

any of them would do this to me.

Don't you worry, Colette. We'll

find the bag. It's what we do.

I'm counting on it.

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