Puerto Ricans in Paris Page #3

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Sorry, guys, I have to get to a meeting.

Fifth of the day.

I used to make bags. Now I sit in conference

rooms and talk about brand synergies.

Well, look, here's my card.

Anything happens, you see

something, you call me immediately.

Even if you just wanna talk

about things, have dinner.

Dinner. Great idea.

How's tomorrow night?

I'd love to, Colette.

Great. I'm having some people

over. You both come.

God, I know I sound crazy,

but I swear we've met.

Bye.

Sh*t, man, you stink.

You really should have

showered upstairs, bro.

Yo, yo, yo, yo!

What's going on, baby?

Why're you texting me?

I'm right here!

We in Paris, Eddie. We in Paris!

I'll tell you what!

We are. We have a big day tomorrow.

Can we go home?

Bro, I gotta get one French chick's

number at least. Come on, man.

I'm out. Try not to

wake me when you get home.

That's if I get home.

Later, man.

Hello. Would you

like a drink?

Got a better idea. Why don't

we go back to my hotel?

I'm staying at the Palais Royal.

Really expensive there.

You down?

You...

You don't speak English?

That's really too bad.

I would have ate that little

croissant of yours for hours.

Sh...

Pig!

I thought you said

you didn't speak English?

What you doin' later?

I think we should get croissants

from this ptisserie in the Sixth.

Frommer calls them "little knots of

buttery heaven." What do you think?

Lou!

Lou, you sure you don't wanna come?

Frommer's says they're...

I don't give a f*** what Frommer's says!

I'm sleeping!

I'm sleeping!

Eddie! Hey!

My God, Colette.

What are you doing here?

- How are you doin'?

- I'm great.

My son, Charlie.

What's up, Charlie?

I was about to go get some

croissants on the corner.

Here? No.

Tourist trap.

Yeah.

You have to go there.

Rue Bonaparte.

Get a box of pistachio macaroons

from the shop and thank me later.

All right, sounds good. -But don't tell

anybody else. It's for locals only.

All right, I promise.

He wants to ride your bike. -You

wanna ride my bike? Come on.

Thank you. Okay.

Be careful. I thought

New York drivers were bad.

This over here is wild.

I have a son his age back home.

He'd love it here.

He your only one?

- Three boys under 10 and a 16-year-old girl.

- My God.

You poor thing. -Never a dull

moment around my apartment.

I worry about Charlie,

you know.

Divorce is hard on kids.

My parents split when I was 16,

and I ended up sleeping

with half my school.

That's why I keep telling Gloria

we need to start homeschooling.

He wants you

to walk us to school.

I got a few minutes.

Really? Okay.

- Let's do that.

- Come on.

- I'll race you on three. You ready?

- Yeah.

One, two...

Let's go!

Let's go!

And actually,

the school is this way!

Where the hell you been,

Eddie? You're late.

Sorry. I got caught up at the market.

Wanna try the most amazing macaroon ever?

No, man, just hurry up

and get ready.

What the f***

is a macaroon?

Ludivine.

A pleasure to meet you,

Prince Nazir al-Faisal.

Please, call me Naz.

Like the rapper.

This is Muktar,

my bodyguard.

You don't have to concern yourself

with him. He's just muscle.

Not so bright.

I have to say I was

intrigued by your e-mail.

It's not every day a Saudi prince writes

me about a pressing fashion matter.

It's not every day I have a

pressing fashion matter.

Not much variety here.

Sometimes the robe is black.

Sometimes it's white. Boring.

So, what can I do for you?

Ludivine, it's not so much what you can

do for me. It's more my wife, Fatima.

-It's her birthday next week.

-That's nice.

You see, Ludivine, out of all the designers

out there, Colette is her favorite.

That's why I come speak to you.

Wait. You came to me

to get a Colette bag?

Not just any Colette bag.

Next season's Colette bag.

The one not in store's yet that

all the women are talking about.

You can't be serious.

Do you know what Fatima's best

friend Marni got for her birthday?

An island. An island.

And Mustafa, he had palm trees

shipped in from Borneo.

These women,

they are so competitive.

I need that bag.

And you can get it for me.

I'm sorry. I don't feel comfortable

continuing this conversation.

Would two million euros

change your mind?

You'll pay me two million euros

to get you Colette's new bag?

Is he a friend of yours?

I made a joke about him

one time,

so he, like, really took

that really personal.

I'm sorry. What part

of Saudi are you from?

The Lower East part?

Rivington and Delancey?

Our plane takes off

tomorrow at noon.

You have until then

to decide.

I don't need

to make up my mind.

I would be happy to design

a one-of-a-kind bag,

but I wouldn't betray

Colette for any price.

Au revoir.

What happened?

We almost got shish kebabed,

thanks to somebody who was

supposed to check out the lobby!

I did, but people come and go.

That's how lobbies work.

Excuses, excuses.

Guys,

what did she say?

Man, the air conditioning. If you see somebody,

can you tell them turn it up a little?

-Thank you.

-Guys, what did she say?

She checked out.

She didn't do it.

-Well, that's a relief.

-We'll get the thief.

I'll meet you at

my apartment tonight?

We'll be there.

Great. It's to show

my friend's new collection.

I'll have my assistant, Daniel, bring over

some pieces for you to wear. See you.

Eddie. Danielle is finally

gonna get you out of Old Navy.

Okay, I think this is

gonna work right here.

You do know how ridiculous

that is, right?

Danielle Estabara

from Colombia Street.

Chicky's sister Danielle

with the big booty.

Danielle from the Vladeck's

Housing with the club foot?

It's a fact. I'm

irresistible to Danielles.

Bonjour. I'm Colette's

assistant, Daniel.

Colette picked them

out for you herself.

Daniel.

Come on in, boys! It's just fashion.

It's not gonna kill you.

You got something else maybe?

Yeah, good call, bro.

It's not terrible.

Actually...

Guys!

Hey. I'm so glad you came.

- How are you doing?

- Hey.

Eddie,

you look fantastic.

This is a little outside my comfort

zone, but I figure, when in Rome...

We're in Paris, dummy.

Eddie, you're a rock star.

Come on in.

- Can I get you some champagne?

- That would be great.

I am on that tonight right there.

Or that. Hey.

Excuse me, you look familiar.

Did I see you last week... MSG,

Bruno Mars concert, VIP section.

- That was you, right?

- No.

- No.

- No.

I'm Luis. This is my

fresh-air fun buddy, Eddie.

We're from New York.

Brigitte.

Not a lot of guys can pull those off.

I'm very impressed.

Doesn't he look great?

So cheers to Eddie's pants.

Nice accent. Did you

study before you came?

Just read Frommer's.

Sorry, boys.

I'll be right back.

- This is bullshit, man. Give me the pants, bro.

- What?

Bro, you're married, I'm single.

Give me the pants.

I'm not switching pants. People

have already seen me in these.

Plus I'm not wearing

any underwear.

Just give me the pants.

Monsieur Eddie!

Charlie!

What's up, little man?

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