Puerto Ricans in Paris Page #4

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Monsieur Eddie?

Who the hell is that?

Colette's son Charlie.

We went bike riding today.

You were hangin' out with

Colette and didn't tell me?

We ran into each other

while you were sleeping. Why?

Hey, how is

my little man doing?

I love those pants.

Thank you.

This is dating now? Texting a

girl at 11:
00 on a Friday night?

"Hey, you out?"

Romance is dead.

It's a shame.

What happened to

picking up a phone,

taking the girl out,

making out a little.

- A little?

- What? I like sex. Is that such a crime?

I for one, agree.

The double standard...

Here's the craziest thing is,

actually, I'm pretty easy, you know.

I work hard.

I have a kid.

You put in even

the slightest effort,

I will probably

sleep with you.

But what passes for courtship

these days is complete bullshit.

I don't know. Maybe we have to

move to New York to find real men.

So, Eddie, how did you

and your wife meet?

Believe it or not

ninth grade homeroom.

Wait, wait. So you guys have

been together since high school?

We did briefly split

sophomore year.

I found some notes this guy Hector

Ruiz stuffed in her locker.

I still bring it up

every time we fight.

Matter of fact,

I'm married to Luis's sister.

-Really?

-How crazy for you, non?

Thank you for asking,

Brigitte.

Actually, it was at first...

My God!

My God! 1992.

Limelight. You were the doorman.

I knew I recognized you.

No, no, no, no, no! I was the doorman!

I was the doorman!

He held the rope.

I told him when to lift it.

-It's amazing! I went there every night.

-You went to Limelight?

- Yeah!

- You don't look familiar though.

I looked

a little different then.

I know.

Damn, look at me! Full set

of hair, 30 pounds lighter.

- Damn, it was good being young.

- Yeah.

You know what? Tonight,

we're all going dancing.

Great idea.

It's leather night

at Le Baron!

Bonsoir!

Vmonos, Eddie.

You sure you

don't wanna come?

To leather night?

You sure you do?

I'm just going with it.

Don't go too far.

You need cab money?

I'm fine, Eddie.

Bye.

And don't get home too late either, okay?

We have lots to do tomorrow!

Hey, hey!

My man! Yo!

That's f***ed up! You don't even

pick up Puerto Ricans here either!

Damn! Come on!

The last time I was in a club,

you give somebody a 20,

you got a lot more than

just one glass of champagne.

I haven't been getting

out much lately either.

You miss being married?

Sometimes, yes.

Jerome really hurt me,

but it wasn't all his fault.

I was stressed out. Worked too much.

Forgot all the small stuff.

I hear that.

It's hard to balance.

You know what hurt the most? If he had

asked me to forgive him, I would have.

He just never asked.

So, what's your secret for

staying married for 100 years?

We just celebrated 19.

The last few

haven't been easy.

Neither were my first few.

That's why God

invented champagne. Cheers.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Yo!

Is the bus is still running? 'Cause I've

been here, like, 30 minutes already.

Sorry, man, no idea.

If you have no idea, what the

hell are you doing at a bus stop?

Beautiful night. Nothing

better to do, I guess.

We're in love.

Someone should tell you

love is overrated.

"Love is all you need." Do

you know who said that?

"F*** b*tches, get money."

Do you know who said that?

-Biggie.

-F***in' b*tch. Damn.

Y'all had... Y'all had a bike

all this time? Come on, man.

Bye, sad man. By the way,

the bus is on strike.

F***in' hipsters.

How hungover are

we gonna be tomorrow?

Let's worry

about that tomorrow!

But extremely!

Shirt off, Eddie!

Not cool, man.

Not cool.

Daniel,

let's f***in' do this!

Come on!

Hey, baby.

What time is it over there?

It's late, you know. I was

just thinking about you.

You strike out with the French

chicks and you're drunk-dialing me?

No, baby, I was just calling

you to... Where are you?

Out.

On... On a date?

None of your

damn business!

You know what? As a matter

of fact, I gotta run.

Hey, Vanessa...

So, Vanessa.

So you were telling me about

your baseball card collection.

Sh*t, man, you missed

a wild one last night.

Yo, for a white girl, Colette

sure knows how to get down, bro.

Yo, Lou, where you at?

You tell my sister you been spending all

your waking hours with another woman?

What's that supposed to mean?

- Why'd you lie to me about seeing Colette yesterday?

- I didn't lie.

It wasn't a big deal.

I didn't think to mention it.

You think something going on between me and

Colette, you been in this room too long.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Let's get dressed.

Just picked up a new batch.

You gotta try

the pistachio, bro.

Chill out with this f***in'

macaroni sh*t all the time.

-Macaroons!

-Yeah, "maracones," whatever.

Let's go, bro!

All right.

I put your hat on the bed.

Hurry up.

Francesca, my associates tell me you're

very connected in the fashion world.

Correct. Yes.

You mentioned you're

in the coffee business?

Yes, coffee.

We specialize in the production,

manufacturing and distribution of coffee.

But I'm looking to make

a career change.

Do you know

what this is?

-Yes, it's a Rolex.

-No.

It's a 4,000% profit.

It's a fake.

Made in Beijing for $2.50,

sold on the Internet

for $200.

The margin of profit is way

better than... coffee.

Also, if you lose a shipment

of these fake watches,

nobody's gonna throw you out of a

helicopter without a parachute...

like with coffee.

Well, Mr. Juarez,

while I am impressed by

your entrepreneurial spirit,

this is not quite my area

of expertise.

You understand? I typically work

with high-end fashion brands.

- Like Colette.

- Yes, like Colette.

This is your area

of expertise.

Look, I want Colette's

new bag.

I have a factory ready

to turn over 10,000 fakes

of such high quality that not even Colette

herself could know the difference.

We could move them

for $500 apiece.

Do the math!

Eddie, do the math.

Okay, I do the math.

It's a lot of money.

Yeah!

And what's in it for me?

One million euros, cash.

Call it a finder's fee.

Call me when you decide.

No, no, no.

No, no.

Keep it. Keep it.

And I know it says water

resistant for 500 meters,

but I'd take it off

before I shower, okay?

Thank you, Mr. Juarez.

Finally I get to afford

one of these real bad boys?

I don't know.

I don't think it was her.

I didn't get

that guilty vibe.

My man. You always hover

over your customers like this,

or just the brown ones?

Thank you.

Bonjour.

- Hey, guys.

- Hey. How you doin'?

How'd it go with Francesca?

What? Case closed.

You kidding me?

Look, I'm so confident

it's Francesca,

I'm spending my reward money

right here.

Let me ask you something. What do you

think about those earrings right there?

Actually,

I think they're hideous.

But those look fantastic. You should

get them for your wife, Eddie.

- Really?

- Really.

Look kind of old to me.

Well, they're antiques.

If it really

is Francesca, what do we do?

"We"? We do nothing.

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