Quackerz Page #2

dictator, er, leader.

Don't flatter, Duane.

It's a sign of weakness.

Yes, sir.

You look old and wrinkled, sir!

It's been a tough journey,

and you deserve some R&R.

Which is why I've landed us here...

in Hawaii.

- Oh...

- Hawaii?

What an idiot!

Okay. In Hawaii...

Behold! A tropical paradise

of the south seas. Aloha!

The commander said, "Behold

the tropical paradise! Aloha!"

Aloha, sir!

Ooh, ooh, shall we perform

a gas mask run, sir?

Well, of course!

We're on vacation.

Duane, which one is my daughter?

She just went...

I told you to get her

a pink gas mask...

with sparkles or something.

Erica?

Erica!

Erica!

I told her if she did this again...

Look at the green.

Look at these guys!

They're freaky-spooky!

Blblblblbluh!

Greetings, visitors!

Aloha.

Hey, sonny, where's your leader?

I am the leader.

I am Peng Lee.

Penguin!

There are no penguins in Hawaii.

You're a duck!

Sir...

I know that I am a duck.

My name is Peng Lee.

Really?

No offense, but that's a very

strange name for a Hawaiian.

Hawaiian?

No, no, no...

Now I understand.

I believe you are lost.

You are in China.

Oh, no...

Dad. Just leave him alone!

Don't do anything weird!

Lost?

I've never been lost in my life!

He's never been lost in his life!

Lookie here, penguin.

See where my little finger is?

- That's Ha-wa-ii.

- Maybe...

Well, your little finger

may be on Ha-wa-ii,

but your big behind is here,

in Chi-eye-na!

But our traditions oblige us

to welcome all vagrant birds,

especially the stupid and fat.

Vagrant?!

So, you are welcome here...

"Bi-ya!

As our guests.

And behave yourselves!

No quacking after 11 p.m.,

and no boots in bed.

Is that supposed to impress me,

penguin?

Come on, impress him!

Men, shall we tell him what

we think of his kind offer?

Let's tell him, sir!

Ya!

Come on, Dad!

These guys are warriors!

Don't be dumb!

Ga, ya, ya, ah!

You're supposed to be respectful

to the Mandarin Emperor,

guardian of the sun.

Let me tell you something

about mallards, penguin!

If you start a fight with us,

we'll finish it!

Ya!

Ha!

I am not starting a fight.

But you mallards

can't just come to our island

and do whatever you please.

So, you admit it?

Come on, sir, you can do this!

One for me, one for me!

Yeah, yeah, give 'em a left!

Yeah, yeah!

Oh!

You missed.

Oh, you're a hard-headed penguin!

Oooh...

Aaah!

What was that?

Master! Master Peng Lee!

It's time to pump up the sun!

The sun!

I have to pump up the sun!

Where are you going?

Come back, you coward!

I haven't finished with you.

Yeah, we haven't finished!

Come back, you coward!

I have to pump the sun!

Pump up the sun?

- What the...?

- I just...

Okay, men, the enemy has apparently

retreated, and is also... crazy.

However, if you look over there,

you'll see a beautiful cruise liner...

Let's get some R&R.

What a beautiful cruise liner...

sir...

Great Emperor!

What do you say about the enemy?

Should we be scared?

Happy? Uh...

The enemy is wicked, numerous,

and very strong.

And they have the power to destroy

all that is beautiful in our island.

The newcomers are going to force us

to leave our home?

We're doomed!

Yes... we're doomed...

to win!

We'll make them leave...

with these!

Oh, yeah...

Oh, yes!

That'll scare 'em away.

Your font is terrifying!

I see your point, yes.

This sign won't slop them.

We need a bigger sign!

What am I going to do, boss,

you know, to make her mine?

Plant contraband?

Or go straight to frisk?

I don't think so.

Frisking's too dam risky.

Well, hello there.

Breathe quieter, dude!

See that safe, Kianga?

There's more gold in there

than cookies in your belly!

Whoa!

I'm okay! I'm good!

No worries!

Ahh!

Way to be quiet.

Take it slow, dude!

Oooh... Hello, Mama!

Mmh... smells good!

Come on. Er...

Argh!

Come on, come on.

- Freeze!

- Oh-oh!

I said, "freeze", Chubby.

Ay!

Who's there?

What's going on here?

Ma'am.

Ms. Knout...

I want you to know that everything

is under control.

I have apprehended

these two thieves before they...

"Thieves..."

There's no need for that, officer.

These two harmless dogs are...

my pool boys.

But... you don't have a pool.

They were, uh...

digging one for me.

- If you say so...

- I do.

You can go now.

- What a woman.

- See ya!

Thieves, huh?

- Are you any good?

- Please!

We're the best thieves

in (his town, lady!

Grrrr.

Then, why was that policeman

able to catch you?

Because we're the only thieves

in this town.

Really?

It's hard to believe an officer

would be that pathetic.

Police!

Stay where you are!

Don't move, because I got the best

alarm system in this town!

Oh, come on.

I gotta know that you know

the word to say

whenever danger comes your way!

Thieves! Thugs! Robbers!

Oh! Help!

Shed the alarm, boss.

We're strictly amateur night.

Now, listen to me, thieves.

An extremely rare duck

lives on an island.

Bring me this duck, and I will make

you rich beyond your dreams.

Fail me...

and you'll wish

you were never born.

- Mmhh...

- Piece of cake, partner.

Now, you'll put I!

In this special cage.

Aaahh!

Let's do this!

What are you cackling about?

Killa-mop is the lifepak of the week!

Longway, Longway,

go and play a new game.

Dad, they have weapons.

And they can fly!

We need to fly!

There is no need for anyone to fly.

Oh, come on, Dad!

I am the Emperor, and your father,

and you will do as I say...

I can fly right over there

and let those mallards know

whose island this is!

I really need to work on my abs.

And my tail obliques!

Left, left, left, left, left, left,

left, right, left...

Your other left, you knuckleheads!

Permission to remind you, sir!

Uh-huh?

Private Erica... your daughter...

has not yet been punished

for her gross breach of conduct

during the flight.

It wasn't really a gross

breach of conduct.

Sir, if she goes unpunished,

the men may think you are...

soft.

Soft?

You know, "soft".

Okay, okay, punish my daugh---- ...

I mean, the offender.

Punish the offender.

Make sure she understands...

I had no choice!

Sir!

These are the orders?

Get punished!

You won't get away with this!

I'll tell my father!

Well, I didn't want to tell you,

but this was his idea.

What?

I know.

It surprised me, too!

What was it he said?

Umm...

Oh, yes!

"Erica means nothing!

What's important is my reputation

with the men!"

Tell him...

if he keeps me in here,

I'll go on a hunger strike!

I'll tell him.

"You need to be frugal

when you're abroad."

Oh!

Who is this?

Hey!

Oh! Only an ostrich would think

that if he hides his head,

nobody can see his feet, or his...

I wasn't using this to hide.

No, it's an ancient Mandarin duck

mind-reading device.

Yeah. Okay, sure!

So why don't you tell me

what I'm thinking!

You're thinking...

this boy seems a little crazy...

though he is sort of cute.

Ah... what? No...

You wish!

Who are you?

Your rescuer!

My rescuer?

Listen, quack-job,

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