Quarter Bin Page #3

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I thought this was

a comic book store.

Well, yeah, we have

all kinds of stuff

for the sci-fi

and fantasy crowd.

I mean, there's, uh, comics,

there's movies,

there's, uh, action

figures, t-shirts,

and, uh, yeah, some books.

Um, is there anything

specific you're lookin' for?

Uh, you know, I don't know.

I just went on a date with

this chick the other night,

and she's kinda on

the brainy side,

and, uh, she told me,

kinda, she kinda liked

this kind of crap, uh, stuff,

so I figure if I, you

know, learn about it, I'd.

So, you're just

lookin' for some basic...

Yeah, you know,

geek stuff, you know.

I ain't much of a reader.

You got anything

more basic for me?

Um, yeah, how 'bout we start

you off with a comic book?

Sure.

Hey, ain't you a little bit old

to be playin' with dolls?

It's a limited

edition Scarlet Huntress

collectible action figure.

Aren't you a little

male to be playin'

with a girl doll?

Okay, how 'bout

we get you started

with something over here?

Like, um, uh, Spiderman.

He's been pretty popular lately.

Yeah, I seen a

couple of the movies,

but, you know, it seems

kinda, just faggy.

Okay.

Um, how 'bout a graphic novel.

Oh, no, I, no

novels, I don't read.

No, no.

(chuckling)

A graphic novel is like

four or five individual

comics bound into one volume.

Oh, okay, that's pretty cool.

Yeah, like, uh,

Dracula versus King Arthur.

Huh.

Well what's this about?

It's Dracula

versus King Arthur.

It's evil versus medieval,

swords clashing, limbs flying,

all the good stuff.

Ah, sounds pretty cool.

Yeah, I think, think

I'll take this.

All right, uh, well Lisa

will ring you up

at the register,

and, uh, you have a good day.

All right, man, thanks.

Bye, thanks for

your patronage.

Did I hear who

I think I heard?

- Um.

- Was that Chuck Hanley?

Eh, he's pretty

rude if you ask me.

I don't care what kind of hot

time he's planned tonight.

He can keep it to himself.

- Hot time?

- No,

it's probably nothing.

Wait, what, wait,

where, with who?

Oh, something at his house.

Probably something explicit.

But don't get freaked out.

Don't get freaked out?

He's over here planning a night

of snacks, conversation,

and date rape

with my ex-girlfriend

and you're tellin'

me not to freak out?

All right, hold on a

minute, Mr. Hyperspace.

- Oh, Mark, I don't think...

- No, no, no,

this needs to be said.

Kevin, I know you're

still in love with Ashley.

[Kevin] (chortles) Mm mm.

That's great.

But Ashley's her own person,

and she can make

her own decisions.

- But...

- Uh uh.

She's a big girl.

She can take care of herself.

Remember when she broke

Tommy Wilkerson's finger

our sophomore year?

He was only tryin'

to cop a feel.

Yeah, but.

You're right, you're right.

She is my ex-girlfriend.

I'm gonna have to let her go.

That is the most

sensible thing

I've heard you say all week.

[Mark] Tell me where

we're going again?

[Kevin] Chuck's house.

And why are we going there?

To back Ashley

up if she needs it.

And what happened to all

that Ashley's a big girl stuff?

Lisa said that, not me.

But you didn't contest it.

How could I, I

was outnumbered.

The odds weren't in my favor.

You just didn't want

anyone talking you out of it.

That too.

You know, if Chuck catches us

peeping in his windows,

he's gonna pulverize us.

Then go home, you

don't have to be here.

Well someone has to

call the ambulance.

[Kevin] There it is.

Which one?

That one there.

All right, we're gonna go

around the neighbor's house.

That way we're not goin'

straight up his driveway.

Come on.

(TV chatters)

Hey, little boy, yeah.

Here ya go.

[Sports Announcer]

Defense from the 43.

All right, get down.

Let me climb on your back

and take a look

through the window.

[Mark] Are you kidding?

Look at you compared to me.

Then what do

you suppose we do?

[Sports Announcer]

Defense from the 43.

(Kevin sighs)

(TV chatters)

[Man On TV] Hustle, hustle!

[Woman On TV] Get

it, get it, get it,

you got it, you

got it, you got it.

Yeah!

(clapping and cheers)

(TV chatters)

Well, I know it wasn't

Ashley he was with last night.

She was at Christine and Tom's

playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Great.

And I get Captain

Caveman over here

landing on my head

to protect the virtue

of some sports groupie.

My head still hurts

from where I beamed it

on the water spigot.

I still have a key.

Hey, Ash, how are ya doin'?

[Ashley] I'm all

right, how are you?

Um, oh, we were just

gonna be

somewhere else.

Oh, uh, yeah.

- See ya in a few, Ash.

- See ya.

We need to talk.

You look good.

You look.

So how's the store?

It's good.

How's Chuck?

[Ashley] Oh, you

heard about that?

When you date that

low on the food chain,

- everyone hears about that.

- Listen,

I only went out with

him because Becky

wanted to go out with

Chuck's friend Bill.

Really?

Really.

We went to some sports bar,

and Chuck and Bill were arguing

over the Cleveland

Browns the entire time.

Becky was playing the ditz,

and I was just playing

some movie trivia

on the video screens.

- Is that all?

- That's all.

It's not like I was

spyin' or anything.

[Ashley] Kevin, get real.

We dated for three years.

I know you were spying on me.

Okay, I was spyin'.

I couldn't believe you

would go out with Chuck.

Well that makes two of us.

I miss you.

And I miss you,

and Mark, and Lisa,

and everyone at the store.

You guys are my friends.

And, Kevin, you're

my best friend.

And just because we

can't date anymore,

I don't want that to

change everything.

I guess you're right.

You know I still love

you though, right?

And I love you.

It's just,

we're gonna have

to find another way

to express that love.

Have you guys been

listening the whole time?

(sniffing)

[Mark] It's just so beautiful!

All right, let's

move on to X-Men.

- Finished.

- Really?

Well then...

Yep, everything's finished.

Everything?

When you were outside,

and that guy was tryin'

to sell you 50 copies

of Death Note number one,

I got ahead a little.

Wow, uh, we've never

finished this early before.

Since working Comic

Con, this is kinda easy.

[Kevin] You worked Comic Con?

Yeah, at the Vertigo booth.

My friend does

promo work for them.

They needed a female

who didn't mind

cheap exploitation

to work their booth.

And you?

Have enough college

loans looming over my head

to overlook a little

partial nudity.

It was a zoo.

I haven't been hit on

by that many teenagers

since I wore a corset to

the Twilight premiere.

Yeah.

It was a zoo.

So what does Lisa

do for a living?

It's complicated.

So is my relationship

status on Facebook,

but that doesn't

tell me anything.

Speaking of

relationship statuses,

did you hear about

the epic breakup

between me and my ex-girlfriend?

- How long did you guys date?

- Three years.

Ouch, sorry.

Yeah, guess I don't blame her

for breakin' up with me.

What'd you do?

Cheat on her?

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