Quarter Bin Page #4

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Forget her birthday?

Call her Princess

Leia during sex?

No,

turns out we're related.

- We're second cousins.

- And?

And.

So why'd she

break up with you?

I just said, we're

second cousins.

That sounds like

a stupid reason

to breakup a

three-year relationship

if you ask me.

We're not in

West Virginia here.

We don't date relatives.

Oh, please, Ohio has no laws

regarding second

cousins marrying.

And if she really feels

the need to have a baby,

which, personally,

I don't understand.

I'd feel like they

guy from Alien

with the monster

inside my chest.

But there's always sperm banks.

Look, dude, my point

is, if it's love,

you find a way.

Guess you're right.

(sighs) Well hey,

I got some things

to tidy up in the back.

Can you be here tomorrow,

and I'll get your

schedule all worked out?

Tomorrow it is, Professor X.

Oh hey, Lisa, you

work here, too?

No, I just hang

out here, a lot.

So what's up with

Todd and Clark?

I don't think

that's gonna work out.

I mean, Clark is,

uh, into DC Comics.

What's wrong with DC?

Superman, Batman.

- Todd is a Marvel man.

- How much so?

Well, you could ask his dogs,

Stan and Lee.

(chuckles) Ouch.

Well, speaking of going out,

are you seeing anyone?

Me, no.

Why is that so absurd,

someone asking you out?

It's just, people

don't ask me out.

[Carley] How long has it been

since someone asked you out?

Two years.

Two years?

You're a human female who

hangs out in a comic shop,

and you're single?

There's no way.

It's just I'm

not very interested

in the guys who hang out here,

and it probably shows.

I'm sure it does.

So would you like to go

out with me sometime?

What, you mean like get

a group of gals together

and have like a

girls' night out?

No, I was thinking

more like dinner.

I know this really cool bistro

down in the Flats.

This bitchin' lesbian

couple owns it.

That way, you can hold

a pretty girl's hand

over dinner and nobody

looks at you weird.

Oh, that, um.

I, uh.

Look, if I'm not your

type, you can let me know.

I'm a big girl.

- I'm not gay.

- Oh sh*t.

- I am so sorry.

- It's okay, really.

I tried feelin'

you out verbally,

and then when you

said you weren't

into the guys at the shop...

It's really okay.

I'm actually really

flattered that you'd ask.

Why not, you're

super funny, smart,

- and cute.

- Thanks.

Well, look, if I haven't

already made you feel

massively uncomfortable,

how 'bout I make it up to you?

Dinner.

Maybe not the bistro, but

Denny's, Taco Bell, whatever.

Even though we can't be

more than just friends?

Well there's no just about it.

I'd be happy to be your friend.

You're fascinating.

And I'd like to get

to know you better.

As a friend.

I'd like that, too.

Well, look, I gotta boogie.

Let Kevin know I'll be

here in the morning.

[Lisa] Sure.

Where's Carley?

She had to go.

She said she'd be

in tomorrow morning.

- She's incredible.

- Yeah, she's really cool.

Yeah.

She's like an expert

in every comic.

She's more

knowledgeable than I am.

Swear, breakin' up with Ashley

is actually lookin' like a

blessing in disguise right now.

Um, yeah, about that...

Yeah, yeah, don't worry.

I'm not obsessin'

about Ashley anymore.

But obsessin' about

Carley's a different story.

Think she likes me?

She likes you well enough.

But you think it's

too soon after Ashley.

I get it.

But, Lisa, I'm a man

of the 21st century,

and information nowadays

moves at the speed of light.

Wait to long and an

opportunity can pass you by.

Think she has a guy?

Oh, I don't think any

guy could interest her.

Right, she does have that

unattainable vibe about her.

But, hey, odds weren't in my

favor for dating my cousin.

So, odds must not

apply in my life.

- Odds are that...

- Hey, I gotta go call Mark,

and let him know

what's goin' on.

It's a good thing I told him

not to come in today

after the movie.

It would've ruined

my Carley time.

You think you can

keep an eye on things?

Now, everybody

take your seats.

And prepare yourselves

for the debut of

Sci-Fi Armageddon.

Here are the decks.

Wait, are these cards that

we build a deck out of, or?

No.

Each box is a well-maintained

and well-balanced playing deck

suited to each player's

individual personalities

and abilities.

A deck this big?

Ash, I'm combining

the mythologies

of eight major and six

minor sci-fi universes

into one game.

There are an unbelievable

amount of scenarios

at play here.

Commander Worf

orders a suicide attack

on the star destroyer

circling Babylon 5.

Expend nine.

Screw God, I've got

my own power cards

to avoid using your

portion of Star Fleet.

That's a good one.

All right, everybody start out

with your early

sci-fi writer sets.

And set out any Isaac

Asimovs, Heinleins,

or Arthur C. Clarkes you have.

I think it's too weird.

I'll excuse myself and

say I'm gonna get sick,

and you can come

help me hold my hair,

and we can sneak

out, watch Dr. Who.

Sounds great.

Ooh, a Stargate.

I get away from the Sith Lords.

Speaking of those

who darken the force,

guess who was in the

store yet again today?

What, was Spenser in again

claiming Jack Kirby

invented Star Wars?

No, it was Chuck Hanley!

Oh dear God.

Anyways, he was in there

tryin' to learn

about geek stuff.

He came in yesterday,

and asked what kind

of stuff Ashley reads.

Somebody shoot me now.

What'd you tell him?

I tried to throw him off,

- uh, telling him...

- Spit it out, elf girl.

Telling him you read

a lot of lesbian erotica

graphic novels.

And?

- And he bought six books.

- Ew!

[Lisa] Seemed really

excited about it, too.

[Carley] Ew.

I'm putting down a

brigade of space marines.

Great.

That saves you from

both my sarlacc pit

and Kevin's Cylon Basestar.

Seriously, Mark?

You used the 1970s

Cylon Baseship?

Well I didn't have a choice.

That newer series

was an abomination

against the gods of sci-fi.

I know, heaven

forbid we add depth

or shading to our characters.

Yeah, and it becomes

I Was a Teenage Cylon.

The only thing

worthwhile on that show

was Katee Sackhoff.

[Ashley] My kinda woman.

Kaylee Frye, uh, from Firefly.

I just discovered I had

a Kaylee in my deck.

Wow, Mark, I'm

surprised you're using

such a new series as

Firefly in your deck.

Well, in,

in this era of

cross-platforming,

we have to appeal

- to such a wide fan base.

- I made him.

Really?

Yeah, I've been,

uh, alpha testing

this monstrosity with him.

Told him if he didn't

pander to the Brown Coats,

I'd leave him to test things

with this Vietnamese kid

who stalks him on Twitter.

And she dumps this

on me last week.

So I need to integrate

60 new cards in six days.

And when did you

spring this on him?

Last week,

after you said how

much you like Firefly.

Aw, that's so sweet.

- Hey.

- Hey, Clark.

I've been doing a lot of

soul-searching lately,

and I really thought I

found the perfect guy,

but I keep asking myself,

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