Quarter Bin Page #5

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can I really be with someone

that only reads DC Comics?

I looked deep into my heart,

and I've come to a conclusion,

and the answer is

no, not so much.

Better calm down

You're bouncin' off the walls

(laughing)

I wish I could've

been there for that.

You know, I think

Kevin's developing

a little crush on you.

- Oh, you noticed that, too.

- Mm hmm.

Yeah, I wonder if I can

just let him down easily,

or if I just ignore

his advances,

maybe he'll go away.

This is Kevin

we're talking about.

Remember the dog through

the window incident?

Ay, caramba.

So what are you doin'

two nights from tonight?

Nothing.

I'm officially bumming

for company all week, why?

[Carley] You wanna

come over for some D&D?

Dungeons and Dragons?

Sure.

I don't know, I'm not

very good around new people.

Oh, don't worry.

These are some of my best

friends in the whole world,

and I promise you will

have a great time.

(sighs) If it means that

much to you, then okay.

Good.

And it's a pressure-free

platonic date.

But this means I get to choose

what's on the agenda

tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?

We're hanging out

tomorrow night as well?

- Are you doin' anything?

- No, but...

But nothing.

You're coming over to

Kevin's for movie night.

[Carley] Movie night?

Two times a month,

Kevin, Todd, Mark,

Ashley, and myself

get together, watch new

and or classic films.

It's my turn to choose the film,

and I found this really

awesome indie romcom.

Well are you sure

they don't mind

bringing somebody

without checking first?

I don't wanna impose myself.

Whatever, you're awesome.

No one can complain

about my bringing you.

Mm, well then it's

two platonic dates.

If we keep this up,

we'll need to petition Webster's

to expand the

definition of platonic

to include platonically

going steady.

Are you kidding?

I'm a regular platonic Don Juan.

(laughing)

[Ashley] Okay,

guys, so what's first?

I was thinkin'

we could either go

classic sci-fi or Marvel.

Uh, Star Wars, original

trilogy of course.

Close Encounters, Saturn 13.

Iron Man, Iron Man 2,

Thor, Captain America.

How about a movie

we've never seen before?

You know, like, a new movie?

You don't watch new

movies with your friends.

[Ashley] Seriously, never?

New movies are a dicey thing.

I mean, you're

either gonna like 'em

or you're gonna spend

the whole evening

writhing in agony,

hoping for it to be over with.

Yeah, you know.

Like, you like the movie, but

your friend could hate it.

And then you just

spent your whole night

arguing about who's right.

I mean, either way,

it's an uncomfortable

place to be in.

But, Kevin, we

always used to watch

new movies together.

[Kevin] Yeah, no we didn't.

What are you talking about?

We used to watch new movies

together all the time.

We would pick out what we

wanted the night before,

and then I would pick

it up and bring it over

on my way to your house.

Yeah, but I'd download

it the night before,

'cause, you know, I like

watchin' my movies

straight through,

and half the time,

we'd be makin' out.

So you pre-watched the movie

so you wouldn't miss

anything by kissing me?

Hey, I didn't

do it just for me.

I did it for you, too.

Oh really?

Yeah, I'd time it out.

That way, when we

were making out

during the bad times,

and through the

rest of the time,

we'd just be watchin' the movie.

Well, we did have a ton of sex

during the sex scenes.

Yeah, we did.

Dude, the average

sex scene in a movie

is under 120 seconds.

Hey, I found the

pause button, okay?

At least you could

find that button.

Boom, in your face.

(balls clack)

Guys, this is so weird.

So I went on a date

for the first time

since the breakup

last night, right?

Yay!

I don't know.

We really didn't connect

or anything like that.

Oh.

But guess what?

People are comin' up to me,

makin' comments to me

about my date last night.

Things that they

shouldn't even know about.

Like, Spenser came up to me

and asked me how the movie was

that me and her went to.

I didn't tell anybody

about what I did last night

until just now.

And then I have Miss

Giggle Fits over here

makin' comments about

me takin' my date

to dinner at Denny's.

Well, gee, you really know how

to spoil a girl, don't you?

Anyways, how'd

she know about that?

Maybe because guys

have no imagination

when it comes to planning dates?

[Todd] Who was

your date anyways?

This chick Stephanie.

That wouldn't happen to

be Stephanie Lane, would it?

Wait a minute, am I,

am I in a reality show?

How do you know that?

Oh my God, don't you know?

She's a famous blogger.

Stephanie Lane?

- So?

- So, do you know

what her blog is called?

Enlighten me.

It's called Parade of Losers.

It's about her love life,

how she goes on dates

with guys, get it?

I mean, she even goes on dates

with guys she's really

not that interested in

just so she can write

about 'em in her blog.

I read that all the time.

In fact, I read the one today,

and (laughs) oh my God!

(laughing)

Oh my God!

I need to go.

(laughing)

What a jackass.

I mean.

[Lisa] Hey.

Hey.

So what's first on

the Microplex tonight?

It's a Ranma 1/2 fan film.

It's called Three

Sides To Every Story.

- The female Ranma is super hot.

- Oh.

Anyway, what's for snacks?

I made some

delicious OB brownies.

- Oh you doll!

- You know, my famous ones.

So what are OBs?

- Orgasm brownies.

- Come again?

(chuckles) Pun intended.

They're these homemade

brownies that Ashley makes.

They're so good, they'll

make you cream in your pants.

Mm, I'm beginning

to see the whole lure

of this movie night.

Yeah, me too.

If it wasn't for Lisa, this

would've died out years ago.

She loves these little

get-together things.

Wow, I'm beginning to

see what a special lady

she really is.

You know, you'll never

find a more dedicated friend,

or a fan of Tolkien

for that matter.

I don't know how she keeps

all that trivia straight,

especially with her

day job and everything.

Day job?

Yeah, she hasn't told

you, not even a hint?

She's actually a physicist.

A physicist?

[Todd] Affirmative.

Don't you have to go to school

for, like, life for that?

Yeah, pretty much.

But luckily she graduated

high school early.

She actually

graduated at age 13,

got her bachelor's

degree at age 15,

got her master's at age 17,

and got her first

doctorate at age 20.

Wait, her first doctorate?

Yeah, she's got two.

Theoretical physics

and string theory.

Damn.

I hear ya on that.

But our Miss Lisa is

a certified genius.

Oh my God!

"Yet to cross that Rubicon

"between late adolescence

and true adulthood.

"An almost slavish devotion

to his mindless pursuits.

"What kind of man owns

a comic book store?"

Oh, God, Kevin,

guys, I almost forgot,

I was over at Mage's

earlier today.

Mark, why would you be going

to our competition

on the West Side?

I was going over to

wreck their alphabetizing.

[Ashley] (chuckles)

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