Queen of the Lot Page #7

Oh, we don't take interns.

Well see, cause I

have the footage of you.

And I know TMZ

would love to do it.

And I'm doing a culture

in communication class.

And it's tied in with film,

- and I was gonna do it.

- Are you bribing me?

No, no, no. I was gonna

do an expose on you.

No, I think you're bribing me.

Or I could intern for you.

I'm really great at PR,

I could help you so much.

I mean, it's just like a trade,

that's what Hollywood's

all about, right?

Why don't you sit down, officer?

Sit down.

Would you like me

to order you a drink

or something like that?

No, no thank you.

- LOUIS:
Are you sure?

- I'd just like to get this done.

Oh, alright.

So it's perfect.

It's a win-win situation,

we both win.

And you can give me like

$500 a week for expenses.

I'll let you know if I

need more, don't worry about it.

And I don't need a salary,

that's just for things

I need to get for you.

- Hi.

- Am I interrupting?

No.

I see you've met

our little family monster.

I sure did.

- Okay well, I'll see you later.

- It's a deal, by the way.

Okay, cool let's...

See you later.

Okay.

Seriously, make sure your

wallet's still in your purse.

Wow.

- And where are you from, Scotty?

- Chicago.

- Oh that wonderful city,

- Yup.

- Chicago.

- Yeah, yeah.

How's it going there,

politically?

Oh well, you know,

Chicago politics as usual.

- You know.

- Yes, we all know.

- You okay?

- Mm-hm.

- Really?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm just feeling embarrassed

by everything that transpired

in your dining room.

Well,

I think you might be

trying a little hard.

I'm not trying too hard,

I'm just trying to

make a good impression.

There's no right way

and there's no wrong way,

there's only kind

of a forced way.

- You know what I mean?

- So you're saying I'm forced?

I'm saying don't try so hard.

What is trying too hard?

I don't understand.

We'll talk about this later.

Take my hand.

There's somebody

waiting for you inside.

Who?

Again, relax.

It's a police officer,

he wants to talk to you.

What?

- What?

- Relax, relax.

LOUIS:
Oh come here, darling.

Come, sit by me.

- You mind if I stay?

- Oh stay, go, whatever.

There we are.

Alright, now.

How are we going to work out

this little problem

we have here?

- What little problem?

- Well,

Ms. Chase, your alarm went off

when you left Beverly Hills.

Now we okayed the route from

Westwood to Beverly Hills.

But we didn't program

for another route.

So unfortunately,

I'm gonna have to take you

back to Beverly Hills.

And I'm gonna have to cite you.

Just wait a moment officer,

I'm sure we can work this out.

Yes, hello.

Louis Lambert here.

Yes, it's been a long time.

Do you remember that time we had

and you said you owe me a favor?

It seems that we have this

charming little woman,

who's at my place

for the weekend.

And um...

Well, she happens to be

wearing an ankle bracelet.

And I will take

full responsibility.

I would love to have it removed.

She's been through so much,

and I'm wondering if

we can work something out.

Yes, there's an officer

here now.

Lovely, hold on.

Officer, would you like to

take this please?

- OFFICER:
Sure.

- Just introduce yourself to him.

Scotty here.

LOUIS:
It's going to be alright.

Yep.

Alright.

Very good.

Thank you Fitzgerald.

(phone clicking)

LOUIS:
Thank you officer.

Yep, I don't have the key to

take off the ankle bracelet.

Now, I'm gonna have to go back

and then come back,

but everything's fine.

Well can you do that

as soon as possible?

Right now.

Terrific.

- OFFICER:
Thank you.

- Nice meeting you, Scotty.

OFFICER:
I also act.

He's gonna give me his headshot.

So if I could just...

If you would keep it,

- I mean its highly improbable.

- LOUIS:
You're an actor?

OFFICER:
I am,

I do that with this as well.

- Come on, I'll show you out.

- Very good.

- It was nice to meet you.

- It was so nice to meet you,

you're really gonna go far.

- OFFICER:
Thank you sir.

- Yes, thank you.

(GROANING)

(SCREAMING)

- (SCREAMING)

- (THUDDING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Stop!

The Red Wrecker never lets

anything determine the price.

(GROANING)

Okay.

- (YELLING)

- (GROANING)

(HIP HOP MUSIC)

- (KNOCKING)

- Come in.

LOUIS:
Oh, hi darling.

Do you mind if I sit down?

- Not at all.

- Ugh, I'm exhausted.

Listen, have you seen Dov?

He went to a card game.

Have him call me,

this is my private number.

- (PHONE RINGING)

- Oh, hold on.

Hello?

Oh, Ernesto, yes.

Please send him up

to Dov's old room.

Yes.

Did you know that this

was Dov's old room?

- No.

- His mother turned it into

a boudoir.

Dov would never live

in a place like this.

He didn't even tell me.

He was a lot different

in that old room. You know that?

(LAUGHING)

You've got such a sweet smile,

my dear.

Boy, I could use a smile.

You know, if there's

something wrong,

you can share it with me.

Oh no, darling. No, no.

It's okay, thank you

for your concern.

OFFICER 2:
May I come in?

LOUIS:
Oh officer, I'm glad

you could make it so early.

Listen, could you do me a favor?

Let's get this problem

over with.

This girl's been through

quite a bit.

Sure thing.

LOUIS:
If you could

remove that with your key,

that would be wonderful.

Sure thing sir,

it'd be my pleasure.

- I'm a big fan, Ms. Chase.

- Thank you, that's so nice.

You were great

in Red Wrecker III,

you were amazing.

Oh my gosh, that's so sweet.

Maybe you could do one

of those kicks for me now?

MAGGIE:
Oh sure,

this was my roundhouse.

- Ha!

- Whoa!

(LAUGHING)

- Thank you so much.

- OFFICER 2:
My pleasure.

- LOUIS:
Thank Joe for me.

- OFFICER 2:
You got it, will do.

- Oh my gosh, it's off!

- I told you it would be off.

Oh, I can feel my toes.

Feel 'em, feel 'em.

- Yes.

- Feel 'em!

- Yay!

- They feel great.

You're like my Louis B. Mayer

and David Selznick, all in one!

Mwah!

(LAUGHING)

That's great company to be in,

my dear.

Oh, you're great company

to be in.

Please Mr. Lambert,

tell me if you're okay.

Please, is there

something wrong?

I'm fine darling,

don't worry about me.

Everything will work itself out.

It will.

God...

(GRUNTING)

I'm sorry, I...

Christ.

I don't know what happened.

Please forgive me.

I'm so sorry.

- What are you doing down here?

- Just picking lemons.

Up to your old tricks again,

huh?

I'm not up to any tricks.

I'm going to get some sleep.

Poor Dovy,

where's your girlfriend?

She's not my girlfriend,

not really.

Does she know that?

Do you want me to tell her?

I just brought her here

to make you jealous.

I'm not jealous.

(PILLS RATTLING)

(PILLS RATTLING)

AARON:
You alright, Dad?

Aaron.

- Is everything alright?

- (SCOFFING)

I mean aside from whatever

Odin was talking about

at dinner, about money.

What?

I mean aside from everything

Odin was talking about

tonight, at dinner, about money.

What do you care about money?

You never cared about money.

(SIGHING)

It's like Rothschild

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes