Queen of the Lot Page #6

- (GIGGLING)

- Would you like to join us?

- Oh, I would love to.

Yeah, why don't you

get a chair over there.

Look at the kids,

they're getting so big.

Hi!

AUGUST:

Aw, you look wonderful.

Oh God, and you smell

beautiful too.

Come right over here my dear.

MAGGIE:
Did you invite her?

AARON:
Shaelynn,

nice to see you.

- Hi.

- MAGGIE:
Hi I'm a huge fan.

- I'm a huge fan.

- And this is Maggie Chase.

Okay, hi.

MAGGIE:
My mom

and I love you.

(GIGGLING)

- LOUIS:
Ernesto!

- (CLAPPING)

Ernesto, we need another stool.

One more.

ELIZABETH:

One more, that's four.

SHAELYNN:
That's four, yes.

ELIZABETH:
That's more

than the Russians do.

Yes.

(LAUGHING)

Betty, I am really sorry

I didn't mention it,

I forgot all about it,

I've been so busy.

- Forgive me, honey.

- ELIZABETH:
Of course.

LOUIS:
Thank you honey.

(GUESTS CHATTING)

You have such

beautiful red hair.

MAGGIE:
When did you guys

last see each other?

- AARON:
A month ago.

- No, a week ago.

Really? He didn't tell me

anything about it.

Aren't you wearing

an ankle bracelet?

- What?

- ELIZABETH:
Ankle bracelet?

Is that like a slave bracelet?

Or the tattoos that you girls

are wearing nowadays?

No, it's um...

something that

I've had on for a while.

- It's just uh...

- Show it to us.

- Can we see it?

- Uh...

ZOE:
Show it to us.

AARON:

You don't have to show it.

- LOUIS:
Is it Tiffany?

- ELIZABETH:
Oh, my God.

It's not Tiffany, I'm afraid.

(LAUGHING)

Uh, I mean...

It doesn't weigh a lot,

it's pretty light.

- Yeah, sure.

- No, you can't take a picture.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

She says it's fine.

MAGGIE:
Blinking light on it,

and if I go outside

the premises, the cops come.

(PHONE RINGING)

I had a couple

of traffic violations,

- that's all.

- (PHONE RINGING)

I had a couple of

traffic violations.

Yeah, it's just,

if I get too many...

(GUESTS CHATTING)

LOUIS:
Could you please

shut off that cell phone?

I've got a parking ticket,

I don't have to wear

an ankle bracelet.

I got a few too many

parking tickets.

(GIGGLING)

I understand that you

might be doing a remake

of the Lubitsch films.

Oh it's a horrible idea.

I'm not going to do that.

It's the worst idea

I've heard in 20 years.

Trouble in Paradise

is a perfect film.

MAGGIE:
Trouble in Paradise?

You would be brilliant

at remaking that.

Nobody would be brilliant

at remaking Lubitsch,

you can't redo

Lubitsch, you know.

It's like... there's a certain

style involved,

it's like Monier.

Lubitsch used to act out all

the parts, did you know that?

All the parts for everybody,

including the maid.

He did all the parts.

AARON:
Just think about

if it was up to you.

Think about if it was

in modern times.

You can't do it in modern times.

- MAGGIE:
You told me this.

- AARON:
It's the thin man,

- it's Ecuador Charles.

- No, no, it's not.

Think about Mr. And Mrs. Smith.

Exactly, you could do it like

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

and have it be an action film.

PEDJA:
Are you trying

to make me yell?

- No, no.

- I mean, look, Lubitsch is

a short fat German

with a thick accent,

with a cigar in his mouth.

I asked Jack Benny once,

"Is it true that Lubitsch used

to act out all the parts?"

And Jack said, "Yes."

I said, "Well was he any good?"

He said,

"Well, he was a little broad,

but you got the idea."

(LAUGHING)

Look, you don't want me

to embarrass you

in front of all these people.

You're going to do the movie.

I'm going to embarrass you

by telling you

it's the shittiest idea

I've ever heard.

LOUIS:
I think you owe me.

I'll do The Lone Ranger

again, but not...

You're doing the movie.

And Dov is playing

Gaston Monescu.

And the reason

I invited Shaelynn here,

was she's going to play

the lead opposite him.

I wanted to see them together,

that's why I invited

Shaelynn here.

They're going to do it together,

do you understand that?

This is so exciting

for the two of you.

That's so wonderful.

Aaron will write it.

(LAUGHING)

LOUIS:
Not funny.

AARON:
I think it's funny.

Interesting, okay.

What would put that

into your head?

(BELL DINGING)

It's all because of Iceland.

It's uh, it's a mess.

It wasn't really my fault.

It's because of f***ing Iceland.

LOUIS:
What is?

- August.

- ODIN:
I'm sorry, Elizabeth.

Is your husband, your Goddamn

husband, on booze again?

Don't talk to him like that.

- Don't be that way.

- LOUIS:
Oh Jesus Christ.

- Just too inconsiderate for me.

- I'm tired, alright?

I've been taking care of

the financial situation

for all you people

for the past 24 years.

LOUIS:
Odin.

I've think I've done

a pretty good job.

- LOUIS:
Odin.

- Haven't been going to parties.

I haven't been going to

fashion...

LOUIS:
Odin,

I want you to step outside now.

ODIN:
...charity balls.

- Now.

- ODIN:
My wife has to do

dinners here

and f***ing Florida.

AUGUST:
Stop it!

And you guys get

to go to charity events!

- LOUIS:
Now, Odin!

- Will you please stop it?

- God.

- What was that all about?

(MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY)

(SNIFFS)

I sought out the money

at the highest possible rate.

And for a while,

everything was great.

Billions were pouring in

from all over the world.

And it wasn't just us

that was invested,

it was everyone,

all of England practically.

So?

What happened?

Just tell it to me straight.

What happened, Odin?

All the accounts are frozen.

What the f***

are you talking about?

What? Spit it out!

(CRYING) No one's in charge.

It's all connected, but

there is nobody in charge.

And now,

this house, your house...

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

What are you saying

about this house?

This is our family home.

My kids were born here.

Spit it out for Christ sake.

I called EG Capital today.

And they told me that when

the loan on this house,

your loan on this house,

comes due in two months,

there will be no

new negotiations.

Either you pay it off in full,

or they're gonna proceed

with foreclosures, Lou.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

You seem like

something's the matter.

Mm mm, I'm just looking out

at how amazing it is here.

You don't remember me, do you?

- Mm mm.

- I kind of discovered you.

What do you mean?

A few years ago,

I was filming in the park

with my brother and

my friend at some swing set,

and you walked by

with all these big bags,

and I had this footage of you,

and you were just

really ridiculous.

(LAUGHING)

- That was you?

- Yeah.

Sylvia, Louis Lambert here.

I want a meeting with Gary,

day after tomorrow at my place.

Yes it's f***ing Sunday,

I know that.

Okay, I want you to call

all of them tonight, now.

Well, you know TMZ,

they would love that footage.

I mean it's way back when,

and they love things like that.

Oh no, oh no we don't put

stuff like that on there.

Well, it would make you popular.

But the thing is,

I go to UCLA now.

- I think maybe you...

- Film school...

Right. And I would like

to intern for you.

MAGGIE:

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