Quickie Love Is So Page #2

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I came empty handed.

My poor thing...

I didn't know how to eat p*ssy.

And look at me now.

I've tasted all kinds, right?

- That's true.

-It's true.

Do you remember

when we hooked up at the Seville Fair?

Remember?

- Yes.

Have you told Ana?

- No.

- No?

Hasn't he told you?

- No, never.

We were kids...

We were kids,

real hippies, real hippies.

Do you remember?

In the communist tent.

- In the cubicle.

In the cubicle, round the back.

Hey, I haven't told you...

I've got a job.

I've been working

in a sex club for a month.

- As a whore?

- A whore? Hell, Paco...

You tell me.

As a waitress, dammit.

As a waitress in a sex club,

it's great.

- What's it like?

- Have you never been?

No.

Well, it's a kind of pub,

a nightclub.

But there are theme parties.

They might do swinging couples,

gays, lesbians, latex,

fetish competitions...

There are sometimes

strange things as well.

But generally,

there's a great atmosphere.

I'm getting to know interesting people.

The other day, Snchez Drag came.

Your phone.

Where the f***...?

It's Rebe.

Excuse me.

What?

Wait a minute.

We don't make the most of Madrid.

Antonio?

Come here, come here.

Come here, quick.

- Wait.

- Yes.

There.

Antonio, you know I'm not ovulating.

Yes, but it seemed a shame to waste it,

you never know.

How was your day?

Fine.

It's always the same.

Two days before ovulating,

we do it in the morning,

we do it at night...

In the position that you recommended.

It's been...

I don't know, two years.

Almost two years,

and it's tiring.

Yet I do everything.

I eat everything,

I hadn't eaten vegetables in my life.

Or fruit.

I'm stuffing myself

with folic acid and proteins.

I haven't been like this ever.

Everything is fine, Mara Candelaria.

There is no physiological problem.

Look,

what I want you to understand is that...

the body isn't a perfect machine.

Sometimes, things simply don't turn out.

I can't understand.

It's been two years,

and for my head...

I'm in a state, a real state...

Do you reach orgasm during coitus?

Orgasm?

Do you usually have an orgasm

when you have intercourse?

Orgasm?

I think I've had one.

When I have intercourse?

Yes, I think so.

I mean recently,

since you've been trying

to get pregnant.

I won't mislead you, doctor.

Not since I got married.

No.

Is it bad?

Perhaps we ought to look into that.

It's clear that the orgasm helps

in becoming pregnant.

The vaginal spasms

help the sperm to reach the egg.

Of course.

I'll bear it in mind.

Here, kid.

Take this.

Go and get another one, it's broken.

How did it go?

- I don't know. Fine.

The endometrium is okay.

Everything is fine.

The cervical mucus?

That's just it,

everything is fine.

Everything looks to be fine.

Well, that's good.

The only thing she said is that...

it's easier to get pregnant

if you have an orgasm.

You always have one, don't you?

That's it then.

That's it.

Hi, kid.

Carlota, how are you?

Who's going to kiss that face?

What?

How did it happen?

- She's done a poo.

- I'll change her nappy.

- Yes.

Okay.

What's wrong, Antonio?

Csar has just phoned.

Paquito has been killed

on his motorbike.

Antonio...

DACRYPHILIA:

SEXUAL PLEASURE:

CAUSED BY SEEING SOMEONE CRY

I've never seen you cry.

Calm down, love.

It's okay, my love.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Again?

Don't even think of it.

Don't dream of it.

SOMNOPHILIA:

SEXUAL AROUSAL CAUSED

WHILST WATCHING A PERSON SLEEP

Right, we're done.

Sew her up, bandage her up

and take her to the ward.

- Okay, Tramadol or Nolotil?

- Tramadol.

Quite a lot has come out in the end.

The operation seemed to last for ages...

I don't know if you were slow

or I have to stop

operating in high heels.

What have we got tomorrow?

Two lipos

and a vaginoplasty first thing.

First thing.

I don't know how you can operate a p*ssy

without having a coffee first.

I haven't told you about Diana,

my daughter.

She's selling.

- Really?

Yes, I'm really happy.

I'm so proud.

She has her own business online.

She's selling

used knickers on the Internet.

Knickers?

Knickers, knickers.

Her used knickers.

She is.

She has her own website:

Diana'sKnickers.com.

Men contact her

and she meets up with them.

She takes them off right there

and hands them over.

And I say to her,

"Well, Diana, let's see...

How much do you sell them for?"

She says,

"They've paid

up to 150?

for ones with a bit of sh*t on."

I say,

"With sh*t on, Diana?"

She says,

"Yes, they ask for all sorts.

Requests vary from person to person."

She talks in such a professional manner

you're dumbstruck.

"You're getting

all wound up over nothing.

It's a really common fetish.

Sniffing the female

is an ancient custom."

That fuckwit

gets anthropological on me.

I felt like giving her

a good open-handed smack.

Sodding hell.

Wait a minute, let me see this...

Now Gonzalo, he wants...

an opportunity.

You'll drive your bloody mother mad.

You'll drive me bloody mad...

Sorry, Jos Luis.

I'm not well.

No, I'm not well.

Neither Fentanyl,

nor Propofol, nor anything.

Right now,

I've got to a point...

that I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong,

because...

I don't know.

Well, what about you?

You look very tired, Jos Luis.

Are you sleeping well?

- No.

No.

You almost fell asleep

in the operating theatre.

- I slept two hours.

- What's going on?

Well...

I'll give you some drops

which are stronger than Flunitrazepam.

Apparently it caused

malformations in foetus.

A few claims from patients

and they sh*t themselves.

But you aren't going to be a mother

so take six drops.

Don't take more, because...

You might kick the bucket,

like Michael.

This is marvellous, you rest...

- Maite, I'm not taking anything.

Do you want it to happen again?

By the way,

how's your wife?

Yes...

Oh, yes, yes, look...

In Chusmari's manor, with the master.

The year we met.

We used to dance so many Pasodobles.

Do you like the Pasodoble?

- No.

- I don't know.

- Of course, naturally.

The Pasodoble is from one's roots,

from the blood.

You have to feel it.

You can't get it with a passport.

Yes.

I don't believe it.

With the master here,

the year we met.

Dancing Pasodobles.

I have another...

Yes, at Pipo's wedding,

the two of us...

- No, no, madam.

- I'm okay, I'm okay.

- No, no.

- I've made progress.

Madam!

Madam!

What's happened? Let me see.

Paloma, are you all right?

Up you get.

Up you get, Paloma.

Are you all right?

Paloma?

Paloma.

Can't you see?

Sir, I'm so sorry.

Don't worry,

you know what she's like.

Okay.

Sir, one question.

How much does a boob operation cost?

- Do you want a bust implant?

- Yes, sir.

Between six and eight thousand euros.

Okay.

But for you,

we can do it for four thousand.

Right, sir.

I'll save up.

- Very well.

- Thank you, sir.

You're welcome.

Everything is okay.

I'll do it, I'll do it.

Catalonia...

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