R.I.P.D. Page #5

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And yes, in my day, I

bought my love by the hour.

But I do know that what

you're doing is not helping.

It's called haunting, hoss.

You're causing her pain.

Why do you think

we're here?

Why we do what we do?

It's so that Julia can

have a world to live in.

And, yeah,

that means without you.

She needs to survive you. Meet

someone new, maybe have a family.

Because you are

not coming back.

Even

The job is

all you have now.

Well, we don't

have the job anymore.

Nick.

Resolve your crap.

Do like me.

Like you?

Yes, emulate my peace.

Your Zen-like calm?

It's taken me a very long

time to achieve this state.

You could get there, too,

but for your weakness.

You know what?

I've had it.

I can't listen to one more self-righteous

chestnut out of your mouth.

I don't want to live

in your weird past with you.

Speaking of which,

those coyotes...

You be careful now.

Those coyotes who ate your bones

and crapped out your face?

In that story,

the coyotes are the heroes.

Hey-

You may think the Old West

was all shits and giggles,

and sarsaparilla

and two-cent whores.

It wasn't!

It was smelly,

it was violent.

t was ridden with dysentery

and no-account Injuns.

I've had a lot of anger

to get past, okay?

And you...

You, Nick, are

bringing a lot of sh*t out

that I've been suppressing

for a very long time!

One of them coyotes,

he made love to my skull.

Do you know what that

practice is commonly called?

I do.

And I certainly hope

he got both eyes, Roy.

Words,

like daggers stab our heart

Boys

Gotta be the better man

The song is

called Better Man.

Yeah, I got that.

People,

they can break your heart

Boys

Like no coyote ever can

Maybe I took things

a little too far.

UMaybeur?

I'm sorry.

You ought to take up

an instrument, Nick.

It might be

a tuneful way for you

to spend what may

be your last moments.

You were right

about the job, Roy.

We gotta get back out there.

"Sus-pen-dato. "

If they want me back,

they're gonna have to beg.

I'm not gonna take

this lying down. You?

Are you gonna

sit there and mope?

Or do you want to help me

stop an apocalypse?

When you put it

that way, hell,

you kind of

paint me into a corner.

I know Hayes is sitting

on some of that gold.

There's no way

he's just a bagman.

Let me ask you something.

Did he like Indian food?

He was not a fan.

But something's

bugging me.

I rode with this guy for five

years, I never noticed any kind of

"soul stank. "

I heard talk of a rare kind of

artifact that could mask it.

Like a spiritual deodorant.

t would be something he

carried with him all the time.

Like Grandma's

Saint Christopher medal.

That'd do her.

Let's go pop

the son of a b*tch.

Do you know what to do?

Oh, yeah. I've been

waiting a long time for this.

You've been

waiting a long time?

Do you know how many years Deados

have been trying to pull this off?

Three thousand.

Not one of those jag-offs could

get all that gold together,

until me.

R.I.P.D. is not

gonna know what hit them.

Now, go find

yourself some trouble.

My pleasure.

BOBBY". Hey, Julia.

Hey. I need to talk to you.

Something really

strange happened to me.

What's going on?

I was at the track

last night,

and do you remember

that guy at the funeral?

The little Chinese guy?

The one who was yelling?

Slow down, slow down.

Take a deep breath.

I don't know.

Somehow, I feel like

it's Nick who's

trying to talk to me.

Okay-

I know it sounds crazy.

know you miss him.

I miss him, too.

I don't think you

should be alone right now.

I'm gonna come pick you up, and

I'm gonna take you to lunch

and we could talk

about everything.

All right?

Okay-

All right.

Thank you for this.

Absolutely.

I'll see you later.

Take the front.

I'll go around back.

Works for me.

Bobby Hayes?

Yeah?

I need to ask you

a few questions

involving

a tandoori clay oven.

Sweetheart, you can ask

me anything you want.

Make yourself comfortable.

How about

a little drinky-poo?

Sure. I'll wet my beak.

Coming right up.

Are you looking for this?

Nice moves,

Nick.

Hey, tough look

to pull off.

I'm getting used to it.

You know,

it was just business.

Make a move, please.

Easy, Nick.

"t's late on Ash Wednesday. "

We can skip

that part, Roy.

Take off the Saint

Christopher's medal.

Now.

Okay-

Powerful stank.

Where's the gold,

dead man?

Check the water heater.

Freaking super cop, here.

All right, saddle up.

We're gonna ride you in.

I know it's wrong,

but the whole cowboy-talk thing,

it's kind of working for me.

What do you got

to smile about?

Hey, how do you like

working with this guy?

He hangs on a little

tight to stuff, huh?

What we got together is

none of your damn business.

Where's the rest

of the gold, Hayes?

See what I mean?

He won't let it die.

Hey, Nick,

remember when I got shot?

I got that medal, and you couldn't

believe I pulled through?

Wild guess,

you didn't pull through?

Get killed by some

junkie and go to hell

becauseltook a little on the

side to pay for lap dances?

No. I don't think so.

Who gets to make that call?

I don't accept it.

Hey, let me

ask you something.

What do you think eternal

punishment is gonna be like, Hayes?

Hell can kiss my ass.

I'm staying right here.

"Lap dancing. "

That's a nice look you got.

That's nice, with the face and the hair.

All right, sit down.

Hey. You might

want to book that gold

before your partner

gets his hands on it.

What's this?

That's personal.

Then it gets booked,

along with this gold

that I brought in.

That's right, doll face. Despite

my chicken-sh*t suspension.

I'm available for

a tutorial-type thing,

if you or the guys

want a few tips.

Maybe get yourselves

up near my level.

Why did I have

to love you?

We had a beautiful

moment in time.

Catastrophic mistake.

Run it down, but you

felt what you felt.

Take a seat.

This is good,

it's gonna help me

getover the

shot-in-the-face thing.

Whatever is waiting for you on

the other side is gonna be bad.

Don't worry,

it's only forever.

Stash this gold

with the rest of it.

And here.

Hey, we just booked

something just like this.

It's in the basket

over there.

You're gonna need to

fill out another form.

I'd love to. I've got

nothing else better to do.

There's one decent thing

about being a Deado, right?

Mmm-hmm.

We can't hear certain

frequencies so well.

Roy!

Come on, Nicky.

You thought I'd

let you bring me here

if I didn't want to

be here all along?

Isn't this thing sweet?

t freezes you guys up,

does nothing to us.

They got one of these

artifacts for everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Go, go, go!

Come on!

Get the gold.

Take everything!

MALE DEADOl It's all there?

Uh-huh.

Catch!

Fill up all these hands.

Come on!

Let's go! Let's go!

What's up?

Peace.

MALE DEADO 21 Flush it.

No! The gold!

Here, boss.

I got it all.

I'm on it.

Daddy's got gold!

Let's build it, boys!

Yeah!

Oh. yeah!

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