Rabbit Without Ears Page #5

to act like an ass and

shirk any responsibility.

Responsibility? I only have it

if I'm together with someone.

If I say from the start, "Let's have

fun, but I don't want a relationship."

Then I'm not an ass.

If you don't get it, tough.

- Then no more sex for you.

- Why not?

You don't get it! They're just acting.

That's the joke.

Listen. You say:

I just want some fun.

She says:
Let's just have some fun,

but thinks:
Those were duds before me.

He doesn't know I'm the best thing

he's ever had. Wait till he finds out!

You stick to the original agreement,

she's been going down another street

and in the end you're the ass.

So either I have sex and I am an ass,

or I'm not an ass and

I don't have sex, right?

Yes.

Then I'd rather be an ass.

I thought so.

Let's be serious.

That woman has no clue.

That's why she's working

at a day-care center.

- My dad's a renter.

- Center.

No, a renter!

I'm proof she doesn't know

what she's talking about.

I'm a woman.

Right?

I'm telling you,

some women only want sex.

- Maybe they're pretending.

- The hell they are!

- Ludo, relax.

- Don't ruin things.

You're too tense.

I'm a woman and I only want sex.

Dirty,

quick,

hard.

And the best thing is: no ties.

And on top of it:

I turn into a pizza afterward.

Holy cow.

What's up?

Did I do something wrong?

I think you better go.

Is that good?

It's Ludo!

Come in.

- Where's Anna?

- Asleep.

- Has sex ever put you to sleep?

- All the time.

With my ex. It was better that way.

What are you doing here?

What's that?

It is ugly, huh? It's Miriam's.

I'm drinking Ouzo. What're you doing?

Ludo just screwed a woman to sleep.

- Really? No way!

- Really.

- She fell asleep while f***ing?

- No.

Not directly.

He licked her to sleep.

- Way cool.

- She was probably playing dead.

Like when animals play dead

to stop anything worse from happening.

Did you dig or pick?

I have to explain something to you

about men.

There are 3 types,

ones who do nothing,

the diggers and the pickers.

The ones who do nothing

expect you to be clean-shaven.

But they aren't.

They expect a nightly blowj*b.

Then fall straight asleep.

Their advantage

is that they're harmless.

Then there's the digger.

He's like

a housewife at a clearance sale,

digging for the best buy.

Not life-threatening,

but annoying because he watches you

during sex, and asks if you like it.

And he expects praise. Like this:

Am I good? Should I keep going?

And the last one is the picker.

He thinks he's the best.

Because he's the only one of them

who can find the clit.

He gets going

like there's no tomorrow.

He picks at it like a madman.

I mean, hello!

Do men think

we want to play "Catch the Clit"?

Or what?

If she tilts her pelvis toward you,

then it's good.

If she tilts her pelvis away,

it's not good!

And the main thing is

you don't ever, ever slide down!

If men knew that,

they wouldn't need to be nice.

Ludo knows now.

- That doesn't help us.

- Maybe he'll spread the word.

The hell I will.

Knowing this...

I can rule the world!

Done!

- That's nice!

- It doesn't have ears!

- Still looks nice.

- Without ears, it's not a rabbit.

- Okay, then it's handicapped.

- Looks like a seal with arms.

We can sacrifice it tomorrow.

- To the gods.

- Yeah, burn it!

What's that?

That's a sweet little Easter bunny.

But it's upside-down.

- It has no ears!

- Yes, but this one is sweet.

But it's still upside-down.

If a kid makes it, then it's sweet.

- lf an adult does, you complain.

- Yours has no ears.

- And that one doesn't have any.

- Yes, but this is...

a RabbitWithoutEars.

It doesn't need ears.

It hears with its... nose.

It can hear with its nose?

So this RabbitWithoutEars

looks like a pot-bellied pig, right?

No! Pot-bellied pigs

can't hear with their noses.

It's a very, very sweet

Easter bunny, Cheyenne-Blue.

Ludo's just jealous.

He's not good at handcrafts.

RabbitWithoutEars...

Good night, Seal.

Oh sh*t!

Any better?

Ludo has pigtails like a girl!

He looks silly!

Ludo has pigtails like a girl!

- Why isn't Anna taking care of us?

- She's got a date.

- What's a date?

- Kissing.

Very funny!

I'm bored.

Me too. Indians are dumb.

You're dumb.

Now everyone, shut up, all right?

- Otherwise I won't tell my story.

- What story?

I can't tell you that.

- It's a surprise story.

- You don't know any!

You have to be quiet.

The coyotes might hear you!

They run around at night

looking for ankle biters like you!

No way.

Hear that?

I think that was one.

So you're not really a real doctor?

I am. I just don't have the title.

It's only a formality.

- Getting that is a breeze.

- Then why don't you have one?

A general practitioner

doesn't really need a doctor's title.

So I can go to you

for my crooked nose?

- I'd refer you to an ENT center.

- What?

An ear-nose-throat center.

I could send Miriam to you

with her short leg.

I'd refer her

to an orthopedic surgeon.

But you can prescribe

some wild party pills, can't you?

In theory, but only neurologists

or psychiatrists can prescribe them.

But you write the referral.

Yes.

- How about a joke?

- Okay.

What did the wife say when she was

pushed down the basement stairs?

- I don't know.

- Bud or Bud Light?

- Do you get it?

- Yeah, but it's misogynistic.

Misogynistic.

Sorry.

You're doing super!

- Will we have to fight the coyotes?

- Maybe.

But I tell you,

if the coyotes are bold enough

to come here,

we'll kick 'em in the tail! Okay?

Hopefully they'll come soon.

There was one.

- Cheyenne-Blue, did you see it?

- Yes.

- What did it look like?

- It had a brown hat on.

- It had a brown hat on?

- And brown clothes.

Change of guard!

Know what I think is the worst?

When they say the boundaries are set

from the start. Nonsense!

No ties. When I hear that...

It's a big lie.

Just admit it!

You all know

we'll end up falling in love.

And so we send

stupid text messages and crap.

But know what I truly think

is the worst?

No, but you can tell me next time.

That way we'll have something

to look forward to. Alright.

I have to get up early. Bye.

Should I come up for a coffee?

Are you still awake?

- I'm standing at the door.

- May I come in?

Sure.

Nice place.

What?

- I twisted my foot.

- Standing there?

Stupid shoe.

How was your date?

- We had a nice chat.

- A chat or a debate?

No, more like an exchange of opinions.

What kind of opinions?

Oh, this and that.

- How men are asses sometimes.

- Was that your opinion or his?

That was mine. I didn't find out his,

because he took off.

Maybe you shouldn't exchange

opinions next time.

I feel so stupid and dumped.

And I got myself all dolled up.

Yeah, you're even wearing a dress.

And slutty high heels.

From Miriam. Didn't help a bit.

I spent an hour in the bathroom,

put on makeup, did my hair up,

went to a beautician, had all my hair

ripped out with burning hot wax!

For 80 euros!

Everywhere?

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