Radiostars Page #4

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He's got enough crap into his head.

Dad!

We're going home, I said.

What crap's he got into his head?

Not wanting the same shitty life as

you?

What's your problem?

Butt out. We're fine, thank you.

Yeah, just dandy.

Tell your son he has no right to

dream.

He's gotta be just like his daddy,

an a**hole.

Stop it!

I'll smash your face in.

Stop, Arnold.

Yeah, that's right.

Look at him.

He's so happy to be blind.

No projects, no dreams.

A waste of space!

A**hole!

All of you are a waste of space!

Living in sh*t with a dopey smile.

We're all a waste of space, dammit!

I quit this dumbass show.

It's over!

My fellow bus passengers,

we have for you a song

exclusively

consisting of local dishes.

Dishes from Provence,

the Alps and Riviera, of course,

which is the favorite region

of our good-natured friend here,

our friend Arnold, aka Arnie.

For the perfect picnic,

you need some Pinouille.

A little Pinouille

Some Farigoule

For you, Cyril.

Some Estampanievre and Cagnoule

A touch of Gougnale

That's good.

Use the gougnale sparingly.

It's very strong.

Some Saucinette

Sounds like sausage but it ain't.

And a pinch of Cougne

Some good old cougne.

Don't forget the children

Exactly.

To have a great picnic in the region,

we have all the food,

but without the family,

the picnic's doomed.

How about this...

A little Pinouille, some Farigoule

Some Estampanievre

and Cagnoule

A touch of Gougnale

Some Saucinette

A pinch of Cougne

And some mayonnaise

No, Smithers.

No, that doesn't work.

I like mayonnaise.

Who cares if you like it!

These dishes don't exist.

Do you get the idea?

And some Bidoune

- Bidoune's good.

- Bidoune works.

Okay, from the top.

And our Granny...

That's right. Our Granny.

If she isn't there, the picnic's

doomed

because she must be dead.

No, she's alive and in great shape.

For the perfect picnic

You need some Jugnole

A tart of Mougnarde

And some Bidoune...

Look, it's obvious.

She pees sta...

Standing up.

Sure, but nothing comes out.

Hey, Daniel(le).

Well, Daniel(le),

we were wondering,

for no real reason...

Are you hitched?

Or not?

15 years with my partner.

And what's the name...

of your beloved?

Dominique.

Very pretty.

It's an ambiguous name.

Yes.

Like Daniel(le).

Thanks, we have all we need.

See you back there.

You blank your dad's call?

He's a pain.

Why?

He's always there, stifling me.

I'm unhappy.

Daddy loves me too much. Stifles me.

I'm gonna go home.

It's pointless staying.

You don't read my stuff, good or bad.

Where are you going?

Don't you want to go on air?

What?

You did stand-up?

This is the same but easier.

What's up? Scared?

No. What do I say?

Whatever.

As long as it's funny.

Jeremie!

You drank how many Riders today?

Maybe fifteen.

Way too many!

I don't have time.

I'm on air tomorrow.

Justine, this is Ben.

He's my straight twin.

It makes her laugh.

Come on in.

This is Blast!

I read it, it's great.

Turn the sound up

And shut up

Hi, Limoges.

It's the show

that gets your head out of your ass.

This morning, I want to introduce

a young writer,

who's our latest contributor.

Give it up for Mr. Ben, aka Ben Hur!

Okay, Mr. Ben, we're listening.

Hello, Limoges.

Slight technical problem.

Smithers, it'd be nice

if folks could hear us.

I read it?

I know what you're thinking.

You people in the square here,

you're thinking, Who are they?

What are they doing here? Simple.

We work for a station that was No.1.

Blast FM.

We were No.1.

When you're No.1, anything goes.

You run into the boss and you say,

"Dude, I screwed your wife.

"Put her on a diet."

When you're No.1, your boss

calls up his wife and says,

"I spoke to Alex, I'm not happy.

"Get on a diet."

Same goes for the listeners.

You put them on hold forever.

One time, a teen called in.

By the time he got on air,

he had 2 kids.

We'd become mean motherfuckers.

But we were No.1.

We were bigheaded bastards.

Totally disconnected.

Like Adolf Eichmann arriving in court,

turning to his counsel and saying,

"Funny, they don't like me here.

"Why do they look so mad?"

Except that being a dick

catches up with you

and you become No.2.

And that's why we're here.

It's our punishment.

You guys who live here

must've really messed up.

Seriously, try to understand.

None of us said,

"F*** LA,

let's do the Cheese Trail this

summer."

We're doing the Cheese Trail.

But in the end,

thinking about it...

It means we get to see you.

Straight up.

For years, we talked to folks

we thought we'd never see.

You were just statistics.

The 15-25s, 16P+,

homekeepers under 50...

For the first time, we see you.

What I mean is,

let's get to know each other.

We're the Breakfast Club.

Nice to meet you.

Good job!

Well done, guys.

Good work.

First times are tough.

Live on national radio,

that's big pressure.

Anyway,

your text was on fire.

They were killing themselves.

Sure, they were. It was funny.

You're funny and I'm not. Great.

Pissed off, you're a jerk.

I'm just being honest.

You went on stage in NYC.

New York!

That pees on radio.

Don't you get it?

It's bullshit. I never went on stage.

I stood there like a dick

but I never went on.

I always lied.

I didn't know.

I bottle out, dammit,

and you've just got it.

Here's what we do.

I write and you do it live.

Arnold'll give us so much sh*t.

Cut it out.

First time we got applauded.

Arnold won't say a thing.

Do nothing, nothing's doing.

Don't you wanna make people laugh?

Sure.

You have no problem with that?

If you make 'em laugh, no.

It's cool.

Alex!

Your sister Jennifer keeps calling.

Thanks.

Don't die.

I'd have nothing to say.

Or we have croque-monsieur

or croque-madame.

Daniel(le), what'll it be?

I'm not sure.

I'll take a mixed salad.

Smart choice.

For tomorrow,

I sketched out a few ideas...

Excuse me.

10 years I've known you

and we only meet sis now.

She lives 500 km from Paris.

I never see her either.

You don't want Cyril

getting it on with her.

- Depends if she's hot.

- Sure.

Guys,

she's my sister.

Show some respect, please.

She's hot.

Can we focus on tomorrow?

It won't take long.

Hold on a second.

Your sister's coming on the tour?

How long do you need?

Good question, Arnold. I've no idea.

It depends on the vibes I'm feeling.

No feeling, guys. She's my sister.

She's 22, fragile,

doesn't know life,

just lost herjob...

Don't even think about it.

Respect.

Right, back off

and let's focus on tomorrow.

I bet you 1,000 euros

you can't nail her in 2 days.

No way. Money is not a goal for me.

1,000 euros.

Well, maybe I could be tempted, sure.

Shut up, he's shitting you.

Calm down.

She's not a whore.

You said you hadn't seen her.

Maybe she's changed.

Shut the f*** up!

Don't take it like that.

Mind that wasp.

Can we work now?

Hey.

Hey, sweets.

- Okay?

- Fine.

Guys, this is Jennifer, my sister.

Hi, I'm Cyril.

Welcome aboard.

I'd just like to say, with us,

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