Rancho Deluxe Page #5

If you had any right

to come in here and do this,

You wouldn't be such a coward and fall

down on your knees at my command.

That boy is 100% right,

And I don't care

who hears me say it.

You had no right, Wilbur.

I knew you knew better,

grandma.

It's these world war 1 war babies

we're having so much trouble with.

INow, if any of you folks

follow us in the next hour or two,

You may just find me

in the front yard...

with this,

Nasty-Looking heater

in my hand.

And as for you, dork,

you better not press charges.

If you do, they better

tell them to catch me quick,

'Cause Im gonna come

looking for your ass.

Let's get the hell

out of here.

Jack!

Follow me.

I'm gonna take a ride in this

Lincoln continental mark iv.

We're beaucoup committed now.

Let's ride in style.

No wonder them old boys

had such reputations.

This is an amazing piece.

- Go for the hood ornament.

- You got it.

What are you up to?

Mrs. Brown asked me to hoover

these Navajos.

You have to be careful

you don't unravel them with that machine.

I'd never use no hoover

on Indian rugs.

Well, Mrs. Brown said I was

to do it this way, and,

These are

Mrs. Brown's Navajos.

Well, she's a jerk-Off.

What?

That's just an

expression I heard.

Mrs. Brown probably

knows best when it comes to her own Navajos.

Yeah, I think

that's true, Laura. Uh-

When she told me to hoover,

I just hovered.

I didn't ask no

further questions.

I think you're right

to follow instructions.

Laura?

I got a crush on you.

Burt.

No, curt.

Oh, I meant that. I meant curt.

You're so sweet

and so innocent.

But yet, you always seem

to have something going on in your mind.

Would,

Would you consider

taking a walk with me?

I'm gonna try

and finish up here.

Honey, Im back!

And I have picked up

a piece of information...

you'd practically

pay to hear.

John Cameron Swayze-

Hopscotching the world for news.

Burt, get Mr. Beige.

Yes, sir.

Wait will you get a load of this.

Tell me now.

This is just gonna

make you twitch.

I hate to have anybody

barge in on me when Im a-Dreamin'.

How can I tell that?

You were sitting up in front of the TV?

How am I gonna tell

you were having a dream?

IMr. Beige.

I've got a bit

of news for you. That's nice.

I don't get no paper.

You guys using

the same gag book?

What was this news

that you had for me?

Well, it seems...

that an abandoned Lincoln

continental was found in an open field...

up the shield's valley.

So?

It was full of bullet holes.

- Why is that?

- For no apparent reason.

But the bullets that did

the work might be of interest to you.

Why?

They were from a. 50 caliber

sharps buffalo rifle.

I see.

Is that all?

Yeah.

Well, in that case, I reckon

Ill just wander on back to the bunkhouse...

before I lose track

of that dream I was having.

You see, I was dreaming that

I was in ancient Egypt. This here pharaoh-

Hold on a minute, henry.

Let's just try

to focus here a minute.

I get the picture.

That Lincoln automobile

was shot up...

with the same kind of gun

that killed that steer of yours.

Well, if this doesn't

interest you, Mr. Beige,

I hope you won't be offended

if I pursue it.

Oh, that's fine.

Go right ahead.

But you know, there's

one incredible thing that I gotta find out.

- What's that?

- Was I just a commoner?

I don't follow.

Was I a commoner

or was I actually a member...

of the pharaoh's

royal family?

You see, in this dream...

I was a-Standing up there

on top of that pyramid with the pharaoh,

And it was just like we knowed

each other for years and years.

IAnd the Nile was a-Flowin'

down there below us...

and the slaves was a-Bowin'

and a-Scrapin'...

and there was

dancing girls, and-

God, she's beautiful.

Like a flower...

or a fawn.

So carefree.

She's almost

like... Bambi.

You look beautiful.

Take them.

God made them.

Well,

I got 'em now.

Laura?

Yes, curt?

Could we kiss?

Yes, curt.

But curt-

Yes, Laura?

I don't think

Im too good.

You'll show me,

won't you?

Who does this car

belong to?

Why don't you ask

the highway patrol?

They sent me for it.

Looks like

baby face nelson's.

Thanks, pal.

Officer, um, can you tell me who that

Lincoln continental belongs to?

The one you just

sent to the dump?

It's belongs to

a Mr. Wilbur Fargo. What's the story?

Well, it was stolen and vandalized

that's all we know right now.

We got a real feeling

it was negroes.

Wait a minute. I'm way out of line.

Let's just say it could've been negroes.

Have you got

Mr. Fargo's address? Sure.

When was the last time

you saw a negro in Livingston?

On the 1:
15 from billings.

It was a redcap.

You sure it wasn't

al Jolson?

All right, all right.

I realize your car...

was amply covered

by insurance,

But I have

a special reason to want to know...

if you have any notion

of who might taken it.

I don't know,

and I don't wanna know.

Sounds to me like maybe

you don't want to know.

That may be it.

You already know?

No.

I think you do.

You're full of sh*t then.

What is it?

Who you trying to protect?

Nobody.

Who is it, Wilbur?

I just said I didn't know.

Now you're gonna have to get

the hell out of my house.

You trying to protect

yourself? No.

I think you are.

Well, what if I am?

What if I am trying

to protect myself?

What of it?

All right, Wilbur.

Let's you and I

leave it at that.

But, just for

the sake of reason,

Why don't you count

on seeing me again.

That was Burt.

Says go ahead

and rent a semi.

I tried to get him

to split with us on the rental.

He knows we got the Baseheart

of Bozeman money, though.

He wants us to front the expenses,

take it off the top out of the profits.

Real sharpie.

He said he lined up a feed lot

in rainbow rock, south Dakota,

Where we can lay out

the whole load.

It'll be days probably

before they discover that stock missing.

So john brown's not

even interested.

At least not enough

to go riding around his ranch. Hi.

Boys?

Couple of coffees, huh?

Stock's gonna be up

in that upper corral near antelope butte.

We'll just drive

the truck up there and load 'em in.

Where is Burt and curt

gonna be at? Asleep in the bunkhouse.

He was real clear about that we blow it,

he says he doesn't know us.

What are we gonna

do with the money?

I don't know.

This is just to keep

from falling asleep. Don't you know that?

Well,

thank you.

Old pal,

The thing is, I don't have

any trouble keeping awake.

All right,

then Ill tell you what we'll do.

We'll finish this job,

Retire at rancho deluxe,

Just south of the big

rock candy mountain.

And we'll be

wide awake!

This is the life,

huh, Burt?

Yeah, it sure is, curt.

Riding the old range.

Well, I reckon we got enough cattle

in there to fill that damn truck.

How long you been

working ranches now?

This time,

two years, three.

I used to do ranch work

in high school in the summers.

What'd you do

before you came here?

Modeled hot combs

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