Range 15 Page #7

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and life as we know it

could end.

- Hey, never count out a

Greg Jackson trained fighter.

Tim Kennedy was born to

be underneath other men.

- Hurry this up,

Tim, I'm hungry.

I want snacks!

- F*** him up, f*** him up.

F*** him, f*** him, put it in!

Yeah.

- He's got the Kimura, Brian.

But, it doesn't

really f***ing matter

because he's a zombie.

- Got to admire the

toughness of zombie couture

and you really have to hand

it to Tim Kennedy here.

He's keeping Randy

at arm's length.

- I got my arm pulled off too.

Rip off the other one!

- Kennedy shoots and

he lands the take down.

Oh Kennedy's locked in

the rear naked choke.

That's in deep, Brian.

- But hey, couture won't tap.

Whoa, it as all over.

Great heads up

move by Tim Kennedy

to win that fight

and save our asses.

- F*** yeah, f*** yeah!

F***ing ruin his credit score.

- That's some bad ass sh*t, Tim.

Wait, why the f*** did we

leave our guns back there?

- How else are we gonna

have a final epic battle?

- Wait, epic battle?

I am so tired of you guys

smashing your d*cks together.

F*** this.

- Just when you thought

the night couldn't

get any more intense,

it's Danny Trejo's zombie.

- Who the f*** saw this coming.

- That's all me.

- Over my dead body.

- You know, Mike, Danny

Trejo was the San Quentin

boxing champion for five years

in two different weight classes.

However, one has to wonder

what a voracious appetite

for human flesh and an inability

to feel pain will do

for his skill set.

- Looks once again like

we're about to find out.

- I got this!

- Tom is making a classical

mistake here, Mike,

in that he really doesn't

know that the f*** he's doing.

Danny Trejo is a

certified bad ass

who now has supernatural powers.

- He's a little f***, isn't he?

- Good initiative, bad judgment.

- Who's the mother

f***ing hero now?

- Man, jumping on dud

doesn't meant sh*t.

Mother f***er!

- He's hurt, Brian.

- Now put a cat

tourniquet on this.

Come on, hurry the f*** up.

- I'm trying, quit squirting.

- I got this.

- Mike, it looks

like they're gonna

go with the team approach now.

In the military, we call

this an envelopment,

where you surround the

enemy and force him

to fight you on

multiple directions.

Or, they're just gonna

go at him one by one.

Like f***ing morons.

- Straight shot to

the wedding tackle,

Brian, it's all over.

- And then he popped

his favorite sex doll.

Trejo remains cold as ice.

- Careful, guys.

- I'm big as f***

bro, he can't hurt me.

- Wow, Mike, he just

chopped him down

like a wet pine tree.

Is it me or did you think

he'd have a better chin?

- Well, I think he would

of had a better chin.

We're down to two and

he's taunting them.

Trejo is really a

next level zombie.

- Yeah, I hate to say it,

cause it likely means

the end of the world,

but he's just at a different

zombie level right now.

- Eeeny, meany, meenie, Moe!

- Looks like

zombie Trejo's identified

his next victim, Mike.

- Wow, that was just bad.

- He's air force, Mike.

- And we're down to one.

Looks like Nick

is rushing Trejo.

Well that worked

out great for, tom.

He's teeing off, he

won't remember this.

- Like a goat at an

Isis convention, Mike,

he's f***ed.

- What are we doing?

- We have to get to a

place of observation.

- Here comes the fatal bite.

Saved by Kennedy.

I'm worried here, Mike.

Tim is still exhausted

from zombie couture.

- Now, lets not count

Kennedy out yet.

As a special forces operator,

he's been in worse

spots then this.

- I'm pretty sure

that's not true.

- Trejo!

- Now what just one minute.

- Mat is still up.

- This guys kinda

growing on me, Brian.

- Like e Coli on

pig carcass, Mike.

- Thanks man.

- I owed you for earlier.

It's a f***ed up day.

- I loved him in machete.

- Blue leader six,

this is striker 3-1.

Give me some Nam cans

on the remainders.

Get it out to me, Sandy,

I'd do it for you!

- We did it.

We saved America.

- America sure is

beautiful, isn't she?

- How beautiful?

- I want to see every single

one of you mother f***ers

in the hallway, right now!

- Morning, colonel.

- At ease, you son of a b*tch.

I can't believe you did it.

- I can't believe

you doubted the team.

- That's just as well.

The president will be

coming in at 0900 hours

to address the nation.

He wants you front and

center with him on stage

as he makes his speech.

You're a hero.

- Sorry sir, but I'm not

going up on that podium

without the team.

We did this together.

- Selfless, I like that.

You and your entire

team can be on stage

for the big moment.

You guys did a great

thing for your country.

It's only right you

should all be there.

- Thank you, colonel.

- No, thank you.

You're finally living up

to your potential, mat.

And I was wrong about you.

You guys have a couple of hours

to go in and get

something to eat

and if you want to be on stage,

I suggest you figure out

a way to get that doll

of your cock, son.

- Sir, one more thing.

Did you just decide not

to shave this morning or?

- It's the end of

the world, f*** you.

- I'm sure the

scientists have something

to take your doll

of your dick, dude.

- What if I don't want it off?

- What, what do you mean?

- There is no glue.

It's just Velcro.

Tanisha, she's more than a

rubber f*** puppet to me.

She's therapy.

She's my security blanket.

My best friend.

She's the only person I know

that I can really open up to.

I mean really open up to.

She doesn't judge

me, she just listens.

- I had no idea man.

- Everybody thought

I went to Wal-Mart

to get some sort

of epoxy remover

to get her off my Johnson

but the truth is, I just wanted

to take her out on a date.

I love you, brother.

- Love you too man

but I'm gonna need you to

get your dick off of me.

- Alright, let me get a

little fresh air exposed

to it for a minute.

- Why don't you take a couple

and go regroup yourself, right?

Thanks, bro.

- I gotta bounce, bro.

- The president is on

his way here right now.

- Yeah, but I have

some stuff I got

to take care of bro.

- Sh*t bigger than

the president?

- Yeah.

Sorry, bro.

Gotta go.

- Are you hungry dude?

- Yeah man.

Let's go get some food.

You guys want anything?

- Yeah, we'll be

there in a minute.

- Alright.

- Crazy couple of days, huh?

- Yeah, I'm exhausted.

- So, I was thinking,

maybe after this whole

thing blows over,

you and I can like

get away or something.

- Yeah, f*** it.

Let's do...

You broke me down.

Let's do it.

Let's go to sandals Jamaica.

We just lay in bed

and order room service

for fuel to f*** each

others brains out

all day, all night,

is that what you want?

Yeah.

I'll tell you what, you

lose a little bit of weight,

get yourself down to a cool 185,

I'll make that happen.

Deal?

- Oh yes, deal.

- Great.

You want some food?

There's a truckload of

freedom fudge outside.

- Well, I probably shouldn't.

Technically I haven't slept

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