Reach Me Page #6

- Why not?

- Because if you do have a dark secret,

- then you would be a fraud.

- What do you care?

- I just do.

- Why?

Because you belittled

me so badly last night

that I was humiliated

into quitting smoking.

That's really what you did.

You got me to a place where I

was so disgusted with myself.

I'm better than a cigarette.

I know that now.

It's weird the way your stuff worked.

Maybe not the way you intended it to,

but it worked. You broke me down,

and you built me back up.

- And I will never smoke again.

- Okay.

I'm ready to make that promise,

but you got to walk the walk,

- or I'm gonna feel like a fool. You okay?

- Okay, okay, okay.

If you expose me,

then what about those people

that gained some confidence and

solace will doubt themselves!

Look, your book's

gone viral, all right?

And if it's not me, it's gonna be some

other journalist that finds you out.

- Well, then let it be someone else!

- No, it's gonna be me.

And I'll call it payback or a

return on your investment in me,

but I'm gonna be on that

pier tonight and so are you,

'cause if you're not,

I will blow the whistle.

- I ought to kick your ass.

- I'll see you tonight.

What is going on?

What is he doing here?

That guy there says if I don't show

up at that public reading tonight,

he's gonna reveal me as an imposter.

Reach me will be a joke, and so will I.

I won't be made a joke.

Hey, wait!

I've been trying to get him to

face his fear for a long time.

My ex is a super mega-successful

real estate guy.

Makes a lot of money,

but I don't want any alimony.

I don't want a penny

from him, not a cent.

I'm gonna make my own money.

I design clothes. I'm gonna break

into the fashion industry.

- Like project runway.

- So what do you do?

I'm a priest.

You're a priest?

Where's your collar?

That's convenient.

Sometimes people relate to

me better without the collar.

- People or women?

- People.

- Just asking.

- You're very suspicious.

Was there ever a woman?

Yeah, before I went into seminary,

- I was engaged to be married.

- What happened?

The relationship ended.

She preferred my best friend.

I know that one.

- Thanks for the coffee.

- Oh, you're welcome.

It's the first pot I've

made in 31/2 years.

It's amazing the things

you take for granted.

Father Paul.

Ma'am.

That is so sweet.

Well, he could use

a positive influence.

Couldn't we all?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Is everything all right?

- Yeah.

Yeah?

Hello, I'm father Paul.

- Hi.

- Oh, yeah. This is Eve.

St. Rita's church. If you

want to come by. No pressure.

- Yeah.

- I want to talk to you.

You can wait inside if

you don't want to...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.

I refuse to hear your confessions.

I'm starting to feel like

an accomplice. Find a new church.

You're disowning me? Yeah?

You can't do that.

What would Christ do? Huh?

Look, I'm not Christ. I'm just a

reasonable facsimile with a problem.

- No, don't put your crap on me, man.

- Hey, this is not about me! It's about you!

How many people do you have to kill

before you realize it's... it's wrong?

- All right. All right, father.

- 200, 300?

- All right.

- 400?

- All right.

- 431/2 men?

What do you think I am?

A violence junkie or something?

That's an interesting relationship.

Slapped.

He f***ing slapped me.

Laughed at me.

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Well, we're starting to see the crowds

roll in here at the Redondo Beach pier,

where at 8:
00 tonight,

the reclusive Teddy Raymond,

author of the very inspirational book

Reach Me that everyone is talking about,

will be performing live,

his first public appearance ever.

Joining us now live is

his promoter, Wilson Mizner.

- Business partner.

- Business partner, excuse me.

Yeah, I'm actually the one who

convinced Teddy to do this book.

- Really?

- Yeah. Well, he lost his wife.

They were high school sweethearts,

and many of the sayings were hers.

She was very upbeat,

and so I urged Teddy

to write this book as a

memento to her memory.

- I'm sort of his inspiration.

- Wow. So he writes about you in the book?

Well, it's not about people.

It's about, people.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Respectable crowd downstairs.

- Good.

- Where is he?

- In a coffee shop around the corner.

- So he's coming?

- You didn't leave him much of a choice.

Listen, that story about

him curing your stutter...

Yeah. What about it?

Well, isn't that something that's

dealt with when you're younger?

- It was.

- I don't understand.

It came back when my mom died.

- I'm Kate, and I don't stutter!

- What? Come on, Kate.

- I'm Kate, and I don't stutter!

- I can't hear you. I can't hear you.

- Come on.

- I'm K-K-Kate, and I don't stutter!

- Yes!

- I'm Kate, and I don't stutter!

God, yes!

Are you staring at my lip?

Yeah.

I was thinking about how soft

it felt when you kissed me.

So which one of y'all

is Teddy Raymond?

- Why?

- 'Cause I want to talk to him.

- You him?

- Definitely not me.

Well, where is he?

What can I do for you?

- You Teddy Raymond?

- No. He represents him. Why?

What can I do for you?

- You know who I am?

- E-ruption.

I was talking to him.

Look, ten months ago,

I was in the joint.

I served 1,092 days, 3 hours, and 42

minutes for manslaughter. I was innocent.

1,032 of them days I spent

being mean and angry,

until I found this book

right here in the library.

Not only did it change everything,

it saved my life.

I sat in my cell,

reading this sh*t over and over.

His words had a

profound effect on me.

So much so that I stopped blaming

everybody for my problems

and realized that my

sh*t was my sh*t.

I'm glad to hear the book had

some meager effect on you.

"Meager effect"?

Yo, didn't you hear me?

Didn't I just tell you?

This book right here

changed my life, yo.

Obviously not enough,

because you have no respect for women.

You're in the presence of a lady.

- Watch your mouth.

- Hey.

You consider yourself

a leader, right?

Damn right. Where I go, they follow.

- Then what are you afraid of?

- I ain't afraid of nothing.

Hey.

Why, you think cursing

makes me less powerful?

It makes you common.

Okay, look. From now on,

no more f***ing cursing!

From now on, whoever does, they out.

Look, let me make a donation.

I mean, for the cause, of course.

You know what?

Give it to them. They need it more.

If you don't like

the service, move on.

- Can I help you?

- Yeah.

A guy, a beautiful girl with

big tits, and a weiner dog.

Oh, I remember her.

- You know where they went?

- No. I wish I did.

They skipped out on the bill.

Sad but true.

Find anything?

Guess what I found tacked

on a telephone pole.

- What?

- I hope this makes you appreciate me.

Oh, what?

What are we doing here? I don't want

to be here. They might be here.

Don't you want to see

what all the fuss is about?

This is the book the slow guy was reading.

This is why you weren't beaten up.

Hey there.

I never knew about

your whispering heart.

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