Reach Me Page #7

- It's a murmur.

- It murmurs?

Yeah, it murmurs.

- Does it hurt?

- No. Look, don't worry about me.

- Dom.

- What?

You really think I'm a retard?

We're here right now because of you.

Roger, don't let these people

get too close to the stage.

- Relax, you're gonna be fine.

- I need distance. Distance.

Sorry. Excuse me.

- Just right...

- What are you...

Just right here. Just to make sure...

I suppose if I crash and burn

and this becomes a disaster,

it'll be a great story for you.

Teddy! Teddy! Teddy! Teddy! Teddy!

Yes, it will.

- Who are you?

- He's my boss.

- You found this guy, but you didn't call

me. - Well, he's not the elephant man.

- A journalist doesn't get sentimental.

- You don't understand. I made a promise.

He made you a promise? In this

business, promises don't count.

They're meaningless. Promises are

written on water. They sink.

You don't compromise because you

like somebody. You don't do that.

Warm and fuzzy doesn't

mean you're a Teddy bear.

- It means you're vermin.

- Is that what you are?

That and more. I want you to go online

and expose this frightened fool

for what he is, or you're fired.

Yeah, well, I can't do that.

I won't do that.

I know you won't. I knew that.

That's why you're fired.

Now, I want you to go out

and write that great American novel

that you're probably never gonna write.

Good luck.

See you, boss.

- You like rolling over people, don't you?

- No, I don't, Teddy.

I really don't. I may look

like it, but I don't.

If something gets in my way,

I go through it. I don't cruise.

Actually, that's not true.

I did cruise.

Back in the '70s, long time ago,

when my generation was

"trying to find themselves,"

and I found myself

backpacking through Europe.

Can you believe it? Hungry, frozen.

"What is life? What is life?"

Then one day,

I'm going down the Costa Brava.

I'm starving. I'd eat a snail.

And there in front of the

great Pyrenees mountains,

I stopped, I reached into my

pocket, and I grabbed my ass.

Can you believe it? There it was.

Whole time. I found myself.

Mystery solved. Case closed.

Grab your ass, Teddy.

It's real simple. You're either

yesterday, or you're part of today.

You sink, or you swim. No floating

allowed. Those are your words.

You wrote it.

Why don't you go out there and

thank those people for showing up

and look somebody in the eye?

Why don't you pick out

a cute sympathetic face

and talk to her?

Flow.

Kill that light!

He can't see! Kill it!

Teddy!

- Thanks for coming.

- You too!

Look at that. He's looking right at me.

Do you see that? He's talking right to me.

My name is...

Teddy Raymond,

and I'm pretty nervous.

Actually, I'm scared to death,

but I guess we all have fears.

There are six basic fears

that we all suffer from,

and you're really lucky if you

don't have all six of those fears.

The most common is

the fear of going broke.

Frank.

- Next is...

- Don't even think about it.

The fear of criticism. You...

- Father, hold my dog, please?

- It will be self-perpetuated.

Please? He's Beezy.

- Father, you know that guy?

- No.

Then there's the fear of failure, of not

living up to your expectations of yourself,

of not being who you want to be.

Hey. See the arcade?

Now, you go tell Dominic and Thumper

there was some kind of emergency

- and to meet me over there.

- What kind of an emergency?

- Hey.

- Get your hand off me.

Hey, listen, you're a creative girl.

Make one up. Go with her.

And there's the fear of abandonment,

fear of losing a loved one.

- He is your father, isn't he?

- Yeah.

And fear of sickness, fear of dying.

I suffer from all those fears.

And I have one bonus fear to boot.

And that is, I am afraid of...

You,

all of you.

Right now, my heart's racing, and I'm

terrified of being trapped in a crowd,

and I always have since I was a kid.

Doctors have a name for that.

- It's called ochlophobia.

- I'll be right back.

At least it's not alektorophobia,

which is a fear of chickens.

- Where you going?

- Hold on.

Ho, ho, ho. Give me your gun.

Or arachibutyrophobia,

fear of peanut butter sticking

to the roof of your mouth.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hey. Get the car.

Bring it around back.

- Let's go.

- Hey!

Put the gun down. Hey, hey!

Turn around. Show me your palms.

Don't look at me.

Hey, hey! Hey!

Whoa, whoa! No, no, hey!

Hey, hey, fellas. Fellas!

Everybody off! Everybody off!

- Cops, guys, come on.

- Where's your gun?

Drop the gun, turn around,

and show me your palms.

Show me your palms. Turn around.

There are guys with guns in there!

No, wait! Don't panic!

Stay calm!

Don't panic! Please, stay calm!

Teddy!

Hey!

You're okay.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.

- Thank you.

- I'm Colette. I'm real glad to meet you.

All of you, put the guns down.

Whoa, ho! You know you guys are

not realizing your full potential here.

- Don't focus on failure, Frank.

- Okay, okay, back up.

- Focus on the positive.

- Back up, get back!

Life's a chess match, and the

opposite player is time, Frank!

- Time!

- Whoa, easy. Easy, easy.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Get back.

- Get out of here.

- Hey!

- Hey, whoa, hey!

- Easy, easy!

I-I realize that you're uncertain

and obviously very frustrated...

The worst that can happen to

you is happening right now!

- Shut up, you moron!

- He's right, you know?

Because if you can get through this,

you can get through anything.

Get through what? And what am I so

uncertain and frustrated about?

These a**holes?

- No, it's about you.

- You.

I've never been uncertain about

a thing in my life, you retard.

Hey, where you running to,

you two-faced turncoat piece of sh*t?

It's not like that, Frank. I just

want to be my own man for once.

Yeah, and you, I loan you

money and you run out on me?

Like I'm gonna forget about it?

- Oh.

- I don't think so. Hey, Denise.

Denise. Come on back, honey. Come on.

Hey, hey, hey. Is this really

all about money or is about...

No! Don't...

No! Wolfie!

Sic 'em, Beezy!

What'd I tell you?

Beezy, Beezy. Come to papi.

- Come.

- Oh, my nose is ruined.

- Did he hurt you?

- Wolfie, Wolfie.

Oh, holy father, let him be okay,

and I'll never have another drop.

I heard that.

You son of a b*tch.

Give me back my gun.

- How you doing?

- Hi.

- What do you want?

- One sausage and mash.

Haggis, the neeps,

and... and the tatties.

Hey, Chestnut twice,

turnips, and mash!

Yeah, I got it.

You don't got to yell!

Huh?

Take this other order.

Everything about you is a lie!

The bars, the women,

the shady phone calls, the people

whispering, you think I don't hear them?

- Well, what do you think?

- That was good.

That's it? Did you believe me?

Sure. Yeah.

You believe me because

you like me a little.

Can you just do that accent again?

- How was my accent?

- Just do it again.

How was my accent?

Oh, boy. Gonna be

another bank robbery.

- Vest?

- Yeah, yeah, I got it.

- Try not to shoot anybody.

- I'll try.

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