Ready to Rumble Page #3

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...was cheated out of his title

and banned from the WCW for life?

Don't you think it's strange that

we crashed the truck on the way home?

It's a little strange,

but what are we supposed to do?

Exactly.

What?

What would King do?

I don't know, Gordie.

What would he do?

I'll tell you.

He'd fight to make it right.

You just let me know when he

shows up and does that, okay?

There's a part of King inside me,

telling me we got one choice.

We gotta find Jimmy King.

This must've happened for a reason.

It's gotta be some kind of test.

We gotta find the King.

We gotta find the King?

You and me?

Things happen for a reason, man.

We gotta find the King.

What do you say?

How far is Atlanta from here?

Sir, it's cold.

Jerk!

- Oh, yes.

- Thank God.

Hey. We're trying to get to Atlanta.

We're headed to Daytona.

Atlanta's on our way.

Come on in, boys.

Hallelujah.

Kumbaya, my Lord

Kumbaya

Kumbaya, my Lord

Kumbaya

Michael, row your boat ashore

Alleluia

Michael, row your boat ashore

Alleluia

- Do you guys know any Van Halen?

- No.

No.

No.

Running with the devil

Running with the devil

Break it down, mama.

I live my life

Like there's no tomorrow

All I've got I had to steal

She stole it.

I don't need to beg or borrow

Yes, I'm living at a pace that kills

Running with the devil

Running with the devil

Oh, yeah

- Thank you.

- See you later.

You chicks rock!

Hey, bro, I know we just

got all this religion...

...but I got a question,

and I need a serious answer.

- Swear to God?

- Swear to God.

Did you fart in that van?

It wasn't me. Swear to God.

Me neither. Swear to God.

Oh, my God.

They were the farting nuns.

Bingo!

Let's do this.

I will rule you!

Gonna be a while.

Me and Jimmy King don't lose.

Down with King?

Big Jimmy King fan?

King is king.

Bullshit what happened.

Makes me wanna puke. But my dad

says puking's for pussies.

I puke all the time

and I'm not a p*ssy.

Listen, me and my associate...

...we're on a quest to find King.

You know where his mansion is?

I heard he lives in a castle.

I never seen it, though.

I could probably find it.

You can find Jimmy King?

I can find anyone on the Net.

I'll search the Web for info

on King's whereabouts.

Good. Smart.

You're the King!

- Oh, yeah? I will rule you!

- Dude.

Dude, my dad'll hear you.

Sorry, man. I'll keep it down.

Thanks.

Give it to you two times!

Sorry.

I found a site. "King, Jimmy.

Wife, Eugenia."

Hey, and you're in luck.

Here's the address.

Sir Isaac,

you've served your king well.

My loneliness is killing me

I must confess I still believe

Give me a sign

Hit me baby one more time

It's not exactly a castle.

Eugenia King?

- Jimmy King's wife?

- Yeah.

The queen.

Front and present.

We're looking for the King.

Is he home?

What are you, high?

He hasn't been home in two years.

All I got to remember him by

is an itchy crotch.

You ever seen crabs up close?

You wanna see?

- Fantastic.

- Wait, no.

I got this.

Ma'am...

...could you say who

his associates are?

Yeah. They're all scumbags.

You could try Louise.

And Louise is...?

A whore. She's a whore.

Good. Whores.

Scumbags and whores. Great.

Thank you. You've been a lot of help.

If you find him...

...tell him he owes me child support,

alimony and dental bills.

Tell him I hope his diddly turns black

and falls in the crapper.

It's the prince.

You looking for my dad?

Yeah. We're on a quest.

Prince Jimmy!

I'm Frankie.

Are you bounty hunters?

I'll help you find him

if you split the reward with me.

- Know where we can find him?

- No.

I haven't seen him for months.

Mama says he's gotta pay

for my braces...

...otherwise they're gonna

repossess them.

Nice.

My research shows he has three kids...

...two illegitimate, two wives

and has filed for bankruptcy 3 times.

This doesn't make sense!

Jimmy King wouldn't do that stuff!

It's a conspiracy, all right?

Sinclair set up King to make him

lose face in front of his own family.

And I found his parents.

Maybe they can help.

Kid's wasted his entire life.

Wrestling.

He could have been a doctor.

Well, an ambulance driver, at least.

Jimmy was never very bright.

Left school in 10th grade.

I beg to differ.

According to his authorized biography,

King worked very hard in high school.

And after you died in a plane crash,

he went to community college.

And he supported you

while he held two jobs.

I ought to kick your ass, freak!

We saw him last week.

He came and "borrowed" our motor home.

We haven't seen him since.

The big sh*t!

Yes. Jimmy King received a speeding

ticket, driving a motor home.

He gave them an address.

St. Francis Motor Court.

- Space 14.

- Get off the phone, you p*ssy!

I gotta go. My dad says yakking

on the phone is for pussies.

Let's go. That's not the King,

just some weird lady.

Oh, my God.

That's her.

I mean, that's him. That's the King.

Are you telling me the King's a queen?

There's gotta be an explanation.

But we came all this way.

He needs us.

It's another plot. A "rouge."

- King! Jimmy King?

- Yeah, baby.

Jimmy King!

- Who's there? Who's there?

- It's us.

The nice boys from the pharmacy.

Leave my husband's medicine on the top

step. I'll tip you next time...

- No, no. No pharmacy.

- We're your most loyal "surgeons."

- Why are you doing this?

- It's us!

- You're a chick?

- Give me the stuff or I'll crown you!

- It's him!

- It's him! King!

Jimmy King!

We're your biggest fans.

- You're fans?

- Yeah.

I ought to break your geeky necks.

We're on a quest

to restore your throne!

- We believe in you, Jimmy King!

- Piss off!

There's hope.

See, he's got some fight left in him.

Could we come in? Five minutes

is all we ask of the King.

Please?

How much money you got?

- Thirty dollars.

- Show it to me.

Personal appearance fee.

Thirty dollars, five minutes. Enter!

- You were right.

- I told you.

Things happen for a reason.

It's a conspiracy. We know

this isn't you. You're our king.

This is a disguise. I'm hiding out

from a couple of people.

You're hiding out from Sinclair.

I ain't scared of that circus freak.

You understand me?

I made that league and he knows it.

I put the butts in the seats.

- I know.

- He's done exploiting me...

...so he plots a massacre with his

sissies and kicks me out for good.

- That's so unjust.

- That sucks.

It's not like the rest of my life

been a bowl of cherries either.

But I just try and play

the cards that's dealt me.

Keep my chin up.

Even though my wife just left me...

...and my little boy's

confined to a wheelchair.

And my mommy and daddy just passed.

We met your wife.

And she says that you left her.

Not how I remember it.

And your son's not in a wheelchair.

Your parents aren't dead anymore.

Good Lord! I am blessed!

Praise Him, in all His mercies!

Piss off! Five minutes are up.

Get out!

Wait.

- Get out!

- Wait, wait.

Can we do something for you?

We can go on a beer run, right?

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